Recent Death Of My Cat

[Guest Guest_KATE_*]

I'm new to this. My beloved 10-year old cat Harlequin had to be put to sleep 12-03. I'm in a state of shock, even though I knew he was sick and wouldn't last much longer. I keep looking around the apartment for him. The pillow on the sofa where he used to lay is imprinted with his body shape. I had left the radio on for him this morning before I went to work like I always do; when I came back I realized I don't need to do that anymore. It's so empty and quiet now. No more thumping of paws to greet me, no dragging of shoes down the hall by the shoelaces so I could put them on. No moresitting up and begging, or putting front paws in my lap and waiting politely until I picked him up. I've lost my best friend.

[mokie]

Kate, i am so sorry you had to have your Harlequin put to sleep. my heart truely goes out to you. i know all to well what that is like. oct 28th i had to have my mokie put to sleep. she was 22 years old and my life.we to were expecting her to go. she wasn't doing well in her last days but still you are never ready. it don't matter how yound or old they are. even though i have other cats and dogs mokie was my life and my world revolved around her every need. i can still see her sleeping in her favorite chair. still setting by the fridge waiting for something to eat. i strain to hear her voice. she would carry around one favorite toy and meow around the house with it.

your routine will stay with you for quite some time.

i know since its just happened that you don't want to do anything but i want to encourage you to seek help and support at this time. it makes a world of difference BELIEVE ME. your heart is breaking, I KNOW, and that is ok. we all grief differently. don't let anyone tell you your making a big deal out of this.

i have gotten some relief and help with different grief sites, chat rooms and friends and even went to a petloss support group. find what ever works for you and DO it. even if you can't talk about it, write about it. that is all i could do when i first lost my smokey. i met someone on this site in paticular and we are supporting each other through email. we have never met face to face but we have an incrediable bond now since we both are going through the grief of loosing our cats at the same time.

i want to tell you things get better in time. but for me time doesn't matter. last night i had a break down and could do NOTHING except cry my eyes out. what every you do, do what you need to do for YOU.

please know your on my heart and prayers. i also have the comfort that my mokie is in heaven and i WILL see her again. God promised. but for now i am only human and still hurt for my mokie. i hope for you in time you will find another kitty to love and cherish. for me i don't know if i can get another one since smokey was such a part of my family of animals here. i guess time will tell on that one. God Bless You at this time. Jean

[Guest Guest_Eliza_*]

Dear Kate,

I'm so terribly sorry to hear about your loss. It is so extremely difficult to lose someone who is so special to us. I lost my Winnie girl (nearly 17-year-old calico kitty) three months ago, and it's just starting to get a little better, although I still miss her every day. Your Harlequin sounds like a wonderful kitty! What silly little things she did! You must love her very, very much. And I'm sure she loves you, too.

If it helps at all, I'm absolutely sure that your darling girl is in Heaven waiting for you, and her love is with you all the time. That kind of love just doesn't stop just because your girl has passed on! I agree with Jean that it helps to talk about your loss (especially with people who understand), so please keep coming back here, try other pet loss websites, support groups, etc. Society can sometimes be less caring than we would wish when it comes to the loss of our beloved furbabies, so it is important to keep talking to those of us who truly understand the depth and reality of your loss.

When I first lost Winnie, I was desperate to know that she was O.K. and lived on elsewhere. So, it helped me very much to read about proof of an afterlife for animals. If this is important to you at all, I highly recommend "Animals and the Afterlife" by Kim Sheridan. It's available on amazon.com and it gave me a great deal of comfort during the first week after my Winnie girl passed.

It may also help to memorialize Harlequin in a way that is meaningful to you. Some people hold funerals or memorial ceremonies, candle-lighting ceremonies (even if it's just you!), put together scrap books, plant a tree or something similar. Doing something concrete can help you move through your grief a little more comfortably. I know how hard it is, and I know it will take time, but the best advice I was given is to just allow yourself to feel the grief, cry the tears, and miss your girl. The only way to the other side of grief is straight through the middle, unfortunately. Just keep taking deep breaths and take it a day, or an hour, at a time.

In the meantime, I hope you have family and friends nearby who understand and who will listen when you need to talk about your Harlequin. You and your girl are also in my thoughts and prayers.

Take good care of yourself.

Hugs,

Eliza

[Guest Guest_Eliza_*]

Kate,

I apologize, I called Harlequin a girl! HE still sounds very sweet and silly, and I am so sorry that you are missing your best friend!

Eliza

[harlequin]

Kate,

I apologize, I called Harlequin a girl! HE still sounds very sweet and silly, and I am so sorry that you are missing your best friend!

Eliza

Hi Eliza,

Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean so much to me. You would have loved Harl, he had such character! Like most men, he never could stand tears; when I cried he'd give me a disgusted look and run away.

I'm trying to laugh for his sake. My friends have been very supportive which helps.

I'm very sorry for your loss as well. God bless you.

Kate

Kate, i am so sorry you had to have your Harlequin put to sleep. my heart truely goes out to you. i know all to well what that is like. oct 28th i had to have my mokie put to sleep. she was 22 years old and my life.we to were expecting her to go. she wasn't doing well in her last days but still you are never ready. it don't matter how yound or old they are. even though i have other cats and dogs mokie was my life and my world revolved around her every need. i can still see her sleeping in her favorite chair. still setting by the fridge waiting for something to eat. i strain to hear her voice. she would carry around one favorite toy and meow around the house with it.

your routine will stay with you for quite some time.

i know since its just happened that you don't want to do anything but i want to encourage you to seek help and support at this time. it makes a world of difference BELIEVE ME. your heart is breaking, I KNOW, and that is ok. we all grief differently. don't let anyone tell you your making a big deal out of this.

i have gotten some relief and help with different grief sites, chat rooms and friends and even went to a petloss support group. find what ever works for you and DO it. even if you can't talk about it, write about it. that is all i could do when i first lost my smokey. i met someone on this site in paticular and we are supporting each other through email. we have never met face to face but we have an incrediable bond now since we both are going through the grief of loosing our cats at the same time.

i want to tell you things get better in time. but for me time doesn't matter. last night i had a break down and could do NOTHING except cry my eyes out. what every you do, do what you need to do for YOU.

please know your on my heart and prayers. i also have the comfort that my mokie is in heaven and i WILL see her again. God promised. but for now i am only human and still hurt for my mokie. i hope for you in time you will find another kitty to love and cherish. for me i don't know if i can get another one since smokey was such a part of my family of animals here. i guess time will tell on that one. God Bless You at this time. Jean

Hi Jean,

My sympathies on the loss of smokie, she sounded like a sweetheart! Thank you so much for your encouraging words, I'm holding on to everything I can at this point. It helps to go to work and have my friends around me. I joined a pet loss group last night. What lovely kind people and so understanding.

God bless you.

Kate