ustwo Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 I can't avoid the lights everywhere at night. Yet the darkness is underneath all of it. But today a little light came through. I was cleaning out a box looking for something and ran across a camcorder cassett of Gene's little dog, his buddy that died three weeks before Gene passed to a new world. As Gene suffered he also had to loose this little dog that brought him so much joy. I started to throw the tape out but decided to watch it one more time. And there was this "gift". It wasn't just the dog...it was an hour of Gene and his dog. I watched...for an hour I could see him happy...hear his voice...I can remember.......HE WAS HAPPY. I had forgotten about our times at the lake, in the mountains, walking the plataus, camping, playing in the snow, watching the elk and the deer. I guess I hadn't forgotten....I just haven't been able to get to those memories. And then there was a second tape. One of Gene and my Mother. Both laughing and so real. Both gone this year behind each other. I can't explain what the tapes did....it's like finding a little piece of Gene...a little piece of my Mother. I can hear him call me by name...hear him call me darling, hear him laughing. I was so afraid I would forget his voice...the tender, gentle way he spoke. How could I let the last two years of his biggest battle overshadow all the happy times? We spent 28 years of doing EVERYTHING together....I had to be reminded. There were wonderful times...happy times before his heart would no longer let him enjoy the world he loved so much. Gene's heart was damaged for 18 years but we lived as fully as we could for as long as we had together. I'm so thankful for this gift. I needed to remember. I wish something special for everyone here. Special dreams, special memories to fill some of the emptiness. I wish just one little light for everyone.I love you Gene!I miss you so much!Always Gene!Always!I love you Mama! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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