I Lost My Mom

[AT25]

My mom passed away last week at 66. She went into sudden cardiac arrest in December and was rescucitated. She was hooked up to a ventilator and remained on for a month but never regained consciousness. It was the hardest month of my life, they told me it was a 6 to 12 month recovery but considered her to be likely brain damaged with a poor outcome. I visited everyday and talked to her telling her how much I love her. The day before she died, she opened one eye and had a pained look on her face. I told her I loved her and I would never quit on her. We would beat this thing together. At the same time it pained me seeing her in such bad shape. I didn't utter a word for the rest of the night and went right to bed at home. I received a call at work the next day her heart had stopped again and this time they could not save her.

I saw my mom at least 5 days a week and talked to her everyday on the phone. I lost a special person in my life. Someone who was always on my side and loved me unconditionally. It was the worst day of my life. I have no remaining parents or brothers and sisters. I have a 10 year old son who is taking it very hard because they were so close, I keep it together for him when he is around even though I'm dying and empty inside at times. My girlfriend has been great, I lean on her extensively. I also have a few close friends who knew her well. I have no interest in anything right now. Everything seems so pointless and everything I make myself do drains me. Sometimes I wake up and forget for a second, then it hits me. Sometimes my phone rings and I think it is her. These are the moments that seem to cut through me like a knife.

T

[mfh]

Dear T,

I am so very sorry about the loss of your mom. She sounds like she was also a great friend and one you had a lot of contact with...and as glorious as that has been, I know it makes it more difficult to lose her. I am so sorry. Losoing our mom's is a loss that changes us and our world. I am so glad you have your girlfriend and I am glad you came here. Here you will be surrounded by loving and caring people who all understand and honor grief. It is a good place to be. Safe, accepting, and supportive.

Don't forget as you walk through these days and weeks to get rest and take care of yourself. Grief is very exhausting. Of course your interest in the rest of life is minimal at best...the way through grief is through it...feeling the pain, remembering the memories and crying the tears. WE are here for you.

Peace

Mary

[kayc]

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent, and particularly the last one, can be very monumental. I am so glad you have a supportive GF and hope you are able to open up with her and talk about your feelings. Sometimes people don't know what to say when you're grieving, but just having them there and caring can help tremendously.

Mary couldn't have put it better. When we grieve, sometimes we don't care about anything, eating, doing things, everything can seem pointless, but the key is, if we eat healthy and take care of ourselves, it will help us to feel our best to help us best cope with this huge adjustment that loss brings. Be gentle and understanding of yourself, patient, as you would with someone else. Also, a grief counselor can be a tremendous help in guiding us through this journey.

[MartyT]

I'm so sorry for your loss, T, and I hope you know that we all share in your sorrow.

One of our members (Ron B.) how he has become his parents' legacy; you may find his post helpful.

In any event, I just stumbled upon the following on Pinterest, and it made me think of you: