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enna

Music That Soothes Me

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What an absolutely inspiring song sung by Bette Midler tonight during the Oscars after remembering all those who had passed this year in the film business - "Wind Beneath my Wings" was done beautifully and Bette looked stunning. I so miss my Jim - my HERO.

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I suspect this song touches all of our hearts. It was played at Bill's funeral. Bette did a great job. I know you miss Jim....you speak for all of us missing our beloveds.

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Anne, I love that song. Very special to us also. Thinking of you as April 3 arrives. Mary

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Background music for meditation or reading ~ I love this just to reflect on the beauty of nature and what is happening during this season of spring. I like to sit and watch the blue ruellia open up to the morning sun and smell the delicate flowers on my orange and lemon trees when the wind blows. Hummers are flying this way and that not knowing where to land...

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Remembering ~ as the second year anniversary of Jim’s death approaches (May 25th) I'm remembering how much he loved Toselli’s Serenade ~ wanting to hear it over and over. Whether it was watching the flowers open or hearing the birds sing he found a peace listening to Andre Rieu play the violin. The gleam in his Irish eyes spoke volumes even though during those last days he was not able to speak. I miss him so. I can't believe it will be two years.

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Music awakens memories ~ these days are filled with painful memories as I watched Jim slip away from reality. Looking back I wonder how I ever managed his care. Did I give him the care he needed. Did I say thank you to the paramedics who came and lifted him up into a chair or the bed when he fell. Did I hear everything our Hospice Team was saying or was I in such a state that I just allowed them to do what they do. Did I thank the nurse who came daily and attended to his needs when our Hospice Team was not here. Did I express gratitude to our Hospice nurse when she made time to ask about me.

Important paper work had been completed months earlier. The final few weeks were all about safety and comfort care. Did he feel loved and did he know I would have done anything for him. Did I show patience whenever around him. Was he warm enough. So many questions run through my mind. Did I do enough.

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Oh Anne, I think you know the answer to those questions. How would Jim answer? I guess if he could answer he would say he felt loved. As he must have done all the time you were together. I am sure Pete would answer the same even though I still feel I let him down by not being there when he died.

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Oh, Jan,

I think that is the most important thing: that they knew they were loved, no matter what. We loved them, with our whole hearts. I know Doug knew that about us. I did, too.

I think that is all that matters. The love just goes on and on. :)

namaste,

fae

Anne, thank you for the heavenly beautiful music ^ ^ ^ ^ thank you.

namaste,

fae

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Thank you, dear friends, for hearing me as I remember events during these next few weeks. This is a very hard year for me. I think it is because I am beginning to understand that this is permanent. It brings tears to my eyes just saying that word ~ permanent.

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Yes the hardest thing is not that they died but that but that they stayed dead. But I must not end on such a negative note so we have to believe they are still alongside us somehow.

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A friend gave me a gift of CDs featuring the Dale Warland Singers and I just love the music:

So, as I listen to the music ~ I work on my Secret Garden colored pencil art ~ These days are filled with memories and I'm so happy that I am in a place where I can think of good ones right now.

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Oh, how I love Warland. Bill and I drove up to the Twin Cities for his final concert with his chorale group. He retired from that so he could compose. So soothing. His December Stillness was Bill's favorite and the last piece of music he heard...on the day he died. I am so glad you are into Warland. It is very healing.

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Yes, Mary, a new discovery for me. Peaceful and beautiful music.

I think I went to bed too early because I awoke and found this piece to help me back to sleep ~ enjoy. I share the same love for music as my Jim. I love being awake so I can think of him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GELKWLdCTv8

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Dearest Anne,

Thank you for the beautiful music.

I know this is a time of great remembering and of more releasing as well as acceptance for you. We have such a journey these days. You are on my mind and in my heart, dear one.

I will be home most of the weekend if you want to talk. I will be holding you close in my heart these holiday Holy Days for you as you remember. I hope the happy and good memories continue to fill your heart with the joy of love.

namaste,

fae

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I have to play it again ~ Jim's favorite music as he drifted into that place we are not privileged to know about yet. Thank you for being with me.

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On grieving ~ " in this life, the only thing that matters is that I was loved by you."

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Such a beautiful song, dear Anne ~ thank you. Here are the lyrics (for those of us who may have trouble distinguishing the words ♥)

In This Life

For all I've been blessed with in my life
There was an emptiness in me
I was imprisoned by the power of gold
With one kind touch, you've set me free

Let the world stop turning, let the sun stop burning
Let them tell me, love's not worth going through
If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered had come true
In this life, I was loved by you

For every mountain I have climbed
Every raging river crossed
You were the treasure that I longed to find
Without your love I would be lost

Let the world stop turning, let the sun stop burning
Let them tell me, love's not worth going through
If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered had come true
In this life, I was loved by you

I know that I won't live forever
But forever I'll be loving you

Let the world stop turning, let the sun stop burning
Let them tell me love's not worth going through
If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered had come true
In this life, I was loved by you
In this life, I was loved by you

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