liljo Posted January 26, 2014 Report Share Posted January 26, 2014 Hi everyone, I lost my husband almost two weeks ago, ( Jan. 14th) . I don't really have the energy to write, but I need help, so this will just be a short post for now. Last October we found out that he had Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer, that had spread to many other organs, it was shocking to us, he was only 59 years old, thin, healthy and energetic. He only lived 3 months after that devastating diagnosis. He died at home , in the middle of the night - I was alone with him, holding his hand, but he didn't go peacefully. So, now I am haunted by those images, on top of the horrible pain of losing him. We had been together 27 years. I don't know how to go on without him. Right now I don't really like hearing "you're gonna be ok", Or "you have a long full life ahead of you". I can't see any of that , and I don't look forward to a long life if I don't have HIM. The sadness and loneliness is overwhelming. I cry hysterically all day. Nights are unbearable. I feel immobile. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I seem to be withdrawing from everyone I know. Despite everyone's good intentions, I just feel that they don't understand unless they have actually lost a spouse (partner, soulmate) I lost my Dad 4 years ago, and was still crying almost everyday, and then THIS happened. ( I don't handle grief well at all ?) Now, I have had to block out the pain of my Dad's death, to try to deal this new horrible loss. Nothing could have ever prepared me for the extreme pain, fear, and hopelessness that I am feeling. Thank you for reading, hopefully I can find comfort here. "Jo". ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!Register a new account
Already have an account? Sign in here.Sign In Now