Grief "centers" ?

[liljo]

Hi Everyone,

I was wondering if anyone knows of a "grief center" that you can actually "check into". ( like a rehab facility, but for GRIEF ?). I've been trying to research such a thing, but most I find are for grieving children. If anyone knows of one for adults, I would love to hear about it. I would be willing to travel anywhere in the US, if it meant I could get HELP : (

Thank you,

Jo

[MartyT]

Hi Jo,

You might try Googling the words "grief retreat" to see what comes up for you. See, for example, this article, Grief Retreat Offers Peer Support, to see if this is what you have in mind.

I did manage to find the following, but please don't consider these as my personal recommendations, as I am not familiar with either of them:

Holly Branch Retreat

Spark of Life Grief Recovery Retreats,

You might also wish to contact either of these good people (whom I DO know and trust). At the very least, they may be able to refer you to the sort of residential program you're seeking:

Center for Loss & Life Transition (Dr. Alan Wolfelt)

Center for Loss and Trauma (Dr. Joanne Cacciatore)

♥

[mfh]

Jo, I do not know of grief centers. There are retreats for those who are grieving and want to do something "residential" with a group and guidance. One would want to check these out thoroughly before participating. I am wondering, in the meantime, what kind of support you have where you are? Grief counselor? A grief support group? I know you are in great pain and it sounds like you are feeling pretty alone with that pain.

Francis Weller, in Santa Rosa, CA does 3 days grief retreats and I would highly recommend him. http://www.soulcenteredpsychotherapy.com/

But you must also be aware that going to a 3 day retreat or even a center if one existed is not going to hurry the process...and when you return, your grief will be with you. I am wondering how alone you feel with your loss. Can you tell us more about what is going on? What you are looking for in a grief center?

Mary

[MartyT]

Very good points all, Mary.

Jo, you may find this article to be helpful: Finding Grief Support That Is Right For You

[liljo]

Thank you Marty, and Mary for your suggestions . I will read more about this on the suggested links.

In answer to your question Mary, I am VERY alone with all of this. As I had told you, I have my Mother nearby, and when I am at her house, I don't cry, but the minute I come home, and I am alone - I CAN'T STOP crying . I don't have any girlfriends nearby, and even if I did, I don't think I could talk to them. I am just so angry right now with everyone, because their lives are just going on like normal, and my Bill is "ashes in a box", sitting in our living room. My brain just can't accept, and process this.

When my Dad died four years ago, I joined a support group ( an hour from where I live), It helped at first, but it just became a social gathering where people ended up talking about their grandchildren, and other non related subjects ! I needed to be talking about my Dad, and my PAIN at the time. So, that is why I had considered going to a retreat for my current grieving. Though, what you said Mary, really makes sense- I might go to a retreat for three days, and feel better, but then have to come back to a quiet lonely house, and my crying, etc would just start all over again.

I just feel panicked, I can't imagine having to live years and years without my Bill. I know everyone here guarantees it WILL get " better", But three weeks into this, I can't see any of that.

Anyways, Thank you both, I will let you know if I find any answers, or a place I can visit.

Enjoy your weekend,

Love,

Jo

[mfh]

Yes, Jo, I do remember you telling me that your mom was nearby but the area where you live is like a desert in terms of support. I am so sorry the support group you attended when your Dad died was poorly led if led at all. Are you near a Hospice Center? The staff there may have support groups and those would be well led, at least all the ones I know of have been and are. You are experiencing what I experienced and what probably everyone here has experienced i.e. sobbing, wailing, feeling alone and in many instances being alone i.e. no friends to share your pain. I am just so sorry. The journey is tough enough without being so alone.

When I attended a Hospice run spousal loss group when Bill died, they did not allow anyone in the group until about 3 months after their loss...we are in such a fog and so confused and shocked that they wanted members to be more present and able to benefit from the group. I do think, in spite of that policy here, that checking out local Hospice groups or a grief counselor. With no one to talk to at all, I think a grief counselor could offer you comfort and understanding on a one on one basis. These early weeks are so very difficult. I do hope you will take advantage of the members here and post as often as you can...we will all reach back, believe me. We all know this pain too well.

It seems that searching for local support might be a wise move as that can be ongoing once established. I do understand. I have no family nearby and the family I do have did not comprehend what i needed and at the time, made it worse. I have good friends but frankly what I counted on most and what go me through the worst of days was this group right here. I could come here day or night and vent or share what I was feeling and people responded with care and comfort and understanding. We are here for you and posting often will lead to good friendships...and feeling as if you are a part of a group. You are a part of the group already but feeling like you are matters also.

Peace to your broken heart,
Mary

[mfh]

Very good points all, Mary.

Jo, you may find this article to be helpful: Finding Grief Support That Is Right For You

Thank you, Marty. Your link is also excellent...offering many ideas and much information.

[liljo]

Thank you again Mary !

Like always, you make some very good points ! You must be on this site every waking moment ! I don't know how you have the energy to write so much , ( and to read all the posts !!). You truly are an angel ! I will try to keep reading posts , and try to write, if even just a few words at a time.

Thank you .

Jo

Ps-

Are there emoticons that can be used on this site ? I have a problem communicating sometimes without "faces" to convey my emotions !!

[liljo]

Oh, in answer to your question Mary - "am I near a Hospice center"? The support group that I attended for my Dad was a Hospice group , in Albuquerque. I did hear that they have a new " moderator" now, so I may give it another try.

Jo

[MartyT]

If you look at the top of the box in which you type your post, you'll see a little button. Make sure you've clicked on that, as it makes all the editing features either appear or disappear. If you have the features selected, notice the smiley face along the top. Just click on that, and at the base of your post you'll see a number of emoticons from which you can choose. When you click on your selection, it will appear wherever you've placed your cursor.

Hope this helps!

[mfh]

You are welcome, Jo. I am not on the site as much as it appears. I am, however, on line a lot reading and educating myself and when a post goes on, my email program notifies me so if it is convenient I flip over and read it. Yes, posts do not have to be long...and ONLY if and when you wish. The point is to become a part of the group. I admire you giving the Hospice group another shot. Check it out and give it a chance as you say. It appears there are a few Hospice Centers in Albuquerque...nothing wrong with talking to them all.

There are emoticons. At the top of the reply window is a smile face next to the Font and Size locations. Click on that smile face and it opens to many emoticons and on the right side of that is a tiny arrow that opens up a whole new window to more emoticons or click "show all" at the bottom of those displayed.