Webel423 Posted February 10, 2014 Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 Nicole and I are 8 years apart in age. When i was 13 she was diagnosed with a really rare form of cancer. When she found out, she said Either Way I Win. If i beat this, I will be here with you guys, if I don't, I will be with Jesus! She was so strong during her treatment and always had a great attitude. She died when she was 22 almost 23 on Feburary 26,2007. This past December, i turned 22. This has been very hard for me to cope with. I have gained 30 pounds, i really do not want to do anything. I can not imagine dying this year. Now i know what she was going through and how scared she must have been. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 10, 2014 Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 Your sister sounds like an amazing person, especially for one so young. You're right, to face death, esp. so young, took a lot of courage, to do it so positively. It may be that it's hitting you since you are now the age she was when she died. I find myself experiencing that as this year I'll be the age my dad was when he died...it makes you think about your mortality and how nothing is guaranteed. Your best chance for getting through this time optimally, is to take good care of yourself so your brain will be working at its best and your emotions evenly keeled. That means eating healthy, getting regular exercise, and getting out and about with others now and then. You may not feel like it, and will have to force yourself to do it for your own good. It'd help to see a grief counselor. I'm not sure we're ever done grieving, but it does change form as we go through our grief journey. It's not unusual to find yourself affected by grief even years later. My heart goes out to you, I know how important sisters are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted February 10, 2014 Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 Nicole and I are 8 years apart in age. When i was 13 she was diagnosed with a really rare form of cancer. When she found out, she said Either Way I Win. If i beat this, I will be here with you guys, if I don't, I will be with Jesus! She was so strong during her treatment and always had a great attitude. She died when she was 22 almost 23 on Feburary 26,2007. This past December, i turned 22. This has been very hard for me to cope with. I have gained 30 pounds, i really do not want to do anything. I can not imagine dying this year. Now i know what she was going through and how scared she must have been. I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. Of course it is so difficult to cope with this loss. And I think Kay's input about your being 22, the age your sister died, is probably a piece of your grief right now. I am assuming you are in good health. Is that correct? But you are having a sense of what she went through. It has opened the wound of grief. Also remember when she died you were only 14 and probably did not grieve the way you might grieve if you were older so you might be grieving this now at a whole new level. I am not sure over what period of time it is that you have gained 30 pounds but perhaps in the last few months. I would urge you to meet with a skilled grief counselor to assist you through this loss as it seems there are a couple of things going on...and working with someone might facilitate the healing of this huge wound. Do also return here and share so that folks here can support you on this journey. Peace Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Webel423 Posted February 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2014 Thank you so much for all the love and support! It is much appriciated, and i am glad to know i am not the only one going through this tough time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted February 20, 2014 Report Share Posted February 20, 2014 My dear, I think one of the great benefits of coming to this site is to see, as you say, that "I am not the only one going through this tough time." Reading about what is normal in grief and how others respond will help you to better understand not only what you are feeling and why, but also what you can do about what you may be feeling. See, for example, all the resources listed on the Death of a Sibling page on our Grief Healing website. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Webel423 Posted February 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2014 Today is the day that she passed away. It is so hard to believe that it has been 7 years. It does get easier every year, but it is still hard to lose a loved one. Another part of the story is she was married. Her husband left our family 3 years after her passing and got remarried to a girl who wanted him to have nothing to do with us. I think this was really hard on my family because he was part of our family and it was like losing 2 family members. I have been doing a lot of thinking today and i just hope he thought about her today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 27, 2014 Report Share Posted February 27, 2014 I can guarantee he thought of her today. It's been 8 1/2 years since my husband died and there hasn't been a day I haven't thought of him...MANY times! I remarried, that didn't change a thing, I wish I hadn't, but I did...at least I got out of it when I saw what a mistake it had been. I'm sorry her husband saw fit to let someone else pull him away from your family, in my estimation, when your spouse dies, you're STILL family for life, unless it was an unhealthy situation to start with. I know it's hard, seven years, two years, ten years, it doesn't go away, does it?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted February 27, 2014 Report Share Posted February 27, 2014 I, too, believe he thinks of your family....and may be keeping peace with his new wife by not contacting you. I am sorry. You did lose two family members. It gets complicated sometimes. I am so sorry. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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