Moving, Taking The Memories With Me

[LarrysGirl]

I'm so sorry to have not been on as much anymore. I started a job over a year ago and the stress of my life has left me exhausted.

I wanted to share that I am moving, same area, just a different neighborhood. Larry and I always loved this townhouse that I'm moving into, we would comment on it when walking the dogs. It's not alot different than the one I live in now, except the location which drew me to it. Directly across the street, right out the living room windows is a beautiful field, wide open space, lots of trees, great sunsets. We walked our beagles there all the time, all of the seasons, hand in hand, with two silly beagles with noses to the ground.

It's so ironic, people think I'm starting over, moving on.... little do they know that I'm taking him with me, looking out the windows and remembering. Bittersweet but somehow peaceful for me.

One beagle and me, surreal.

The main thing I wanted to share was, as you may know, I never moved Larry's clothes, never emptied his drawers in eight years. This has been an experience. Some things I was able to donate and then I have come across some items that take my breath away. So I have packed many of his favorites going to the new home. Tears and smiles, such extremes, makes me feel crazy. Today I came across many cards that I hadn't seen in a while. The sweetest words from him, some letters and to my surprise a couple of pictures. Of course I have many pictures on the walls, my dresser full of love letters and notes, etc. none of that will change.

He is going with me, never left behind, never forgotten. I think he would be happy to see me and Maggie in this new place and "our" field once again. Deborah

[feralfae]

I hope this move, the new location, the wonderful memories as you look out the window, and having your loving mementoes around you, will help to ease the stress from work.

And, how nice to have a time when you could look at his words and pictures, and feel the love still glowing with great warmth and caring in your heart. That is nice.

Once you are settled in to the new townhouse, it might be a new beginning at least in a lot of small but helpful ways, too.

Thank you for letting us know. I think Larry will be happy to see you and Maggie there.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[kayc]

Deborah, I am so happy for you, because you ARE taking him with you and to a place you both knew and loved, that makes it all the more special. I know it'll be bittersweet as it's hard going through everything. I just hope you really enjoy your new home!

[mfh]

Deborah, congratulations on your new home. It sounds like you are making one of yours and Larry's dreams happen....i.e. moving into the place you both loved. How calming and soothing it will be to look out at that meadows and those trees. Moving is exhausting and you are already exhausted, so take it slow and you have the rest of your life to unpack. Bill and I moved into this house just 10 months before he died...thinking it would give him a real town to walk through (long story) but he declined. I still have unpacked boxes in the basement. That move was almost 5 years ago. My favorite thing to say is "the boxes will be there". I am very happy for you. Mary

[Wifflesnook]

Deborah

I'm very aware that when I eventually have to move from here, I or someone else will have to deal with Pete's things including his clothes which after two years remain in the cupboards. It sounds as though that was the right time for you. I often wonder if I should deal with this but my heart tells me I'm not ready to go through the pain. And the empty cupboards would look so awful. I'm so pleased for you that you are doing this positive thing. Jan

[MartyT]

Deborah, my dear, I wish you every happiness as you begin this new chapter in your life, and as you settle in, I am picturing you placing a certain treasured object on the wall in your new home: The Porcelain Starfish ★

[LarrysGirl]

Thanks everyone, of course this move isn't going smoothly but then nothing ever does. My son, who was bringing his big truck from work will not be coming or able to help (just let me know this right now). My brother has the flu and can't come either. I do have to pace myself or my balance bothers me and then I can't do anything but I am way beyond tired at the moment.

Marty, it would be you who remembered the starfish. That was a struggle, so funny to see me walk up to it and try to take off the wall, then I would walk away, couldn't do it. I felt like Larry used it to contact me and I was scared I would be cutting off the way for him to let me know he was here with me. After a few days of packing, I got plenty of messages from him. One of his shirts in particular, that had his name on it from work, I treasure. When going thru drawers I found a picture I have no memory of, but it was him in the shirt. My heart misses him so! So I have packed the starfish and can't wait to put it up in the new place. Deborah

[mfh]

Deborah, how I wish a bunch of us lived nearby...we would have that move done in a matter of a hours. I am so very sorry it is not going smoothly..but yes, that is what happens.

I was so moved by Marty's post regarding the starfish. And yes, I totally agree....so like her.

When Bill and i last moved, I hired Two Men and a Truck because Bill was not able to help at all. Others helped but I needed movers...having done the U-Haul with friends things in the past. They did it so fast, my head was reeling. The company started here in Madison with 2 college kids. When they graduated, their mom took it over and turned it into a nationwide moving company. We used them in AZ also. Just fyi

[kayc]

Oh Deborah, I am so sorry that your help fizzled out. I am going through that with my roof, nigh impossible to get my son here to help, always busy, and my BIL said he'd do the work if my son would help him. Now they say they'll do it Spring break "weather permitting" but it ALWAYS rains Spring break so they might as well forget planning it for then!

It's so hard to get help and I know that you can't afford movers. I am in the same boat, can't do it myself and can't afford to hire it done. I guess that's one reason I haven't considered moving yet. Meanwhile, I have these hefty house payments. Stuck. My home is upsidedown. So I guess I'll just keep making the payments and do my best to deal with taking care of this place or letting it go until I can afford it, its a struggle.

I wish you had some friends who could come to your rescue. Can you move what you can and get your son or brother to help with the heavy stuff later? Of course, you probably have a deadline when everything needs moved.

[Queeniemary]

Deborah, your new place sounds great, and how wonderful it is a place that Larry knew about also. I understand your feeling about needing help. At my age,(68) there is so much I cannot do, physically. My son in law is on disability from a broken back, my sons lives far away, and many of my friends are old like me!! So it is certainly a problem, I either hire it done, or it just sits there not getting done.

Good luck on the move

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[kayc]

Deborah, if you have to be moved this week and they still can't help you, can you call a service organization or church and request some help? I'm not sure who, but if you start making calls someone might refer you to someone who could help. Red Cross, Senior Services, Lyons, etc.

[LarrysGirl]

Half-way thru, today will be completely in new place, having phone etc service coming today. My brother came, with the flu, god bless him. And my son showed up yesterday, not till the end of the day did I find out my mother bribed him and is paying him to do this. Oh well, had to have the help, so many heavy things. Have a furniture dolly but its getting things up and down stairs that is killing everyone. Praying my balance stays in tack and can get thru another long day of this. Will still be coming back to dig up my beloved hydrangeas, roses, etc. but it may snow again this week. I'm not leaving them behind, I hope they will make it thru.

So far in this move, I have packed and loaded in the snow, sleet, rain, tornado warning and going from the 78 to 41 in one day. Wow wish Larry was here, he'd have this whipped into shape so fast. He's watching over me and Maggie though I'm sure. Deborah

[teny]

I hope moving is going to help you forget all memories that hurt.best luck.love from far away.teny

[kayc]

Deborah, so glad to hear you're getting some help...never mind mom had to bribe brother, at least mom cares! It will be so nice when it's done and I hope the weather spares your flowers.

[LarrysGirl]

Going back to old place to wrap up odds and ends, my legs and back are killing me. Maggie had a rough couple of days, shook the entire time but seems better today.

Had an idea, I think I will spread some wildflower seeds in the field in memory of Larry, maybe they will come up and I could see them from my living room windows! Will be posting pictures soon, its the craziest feeling, but I feel at home. Miss my guy though, can see him walking thru the field, its okay, that warms my heart. Deborah

[mfh]

I think the wild flowers in the meadow is a great idea. It feels from here like the new house is where you and Larry almost lived in spirit together before he died and would have been there together if he had not...so now you are there and he is with you...smiling.

Get some rest as soon as you can. The work will be there. I know you have to unpack certain items...but let the rest go until you get some rest.

End of sermon

Mary

[kayc]

Oh Deborah, I LOVE that idea! What a great idea! Let us know if you see anything spring up!

[LarrysGirl]

Mary, I had to laugh because I can't find anything, where's my toothbrush, where's the dogfood, wheres my shoes, etc. Going around in circles all day long. I can't explain how odd it feels to see things I hadn't seen in my attic since Larry got sick. I actually don't recognize some of it. And then I will find something where I have to sit down for a minute and take it in. Flooded with memories. My back has had it and my legs ache from climbing up and down the stairs. Will have to return to my job sometime next week, first time I've had a few days off in a year and a half. Sure wish someone could send me some energy please! Deborah

[enna]

Oh Deborah, I am so happy you are finally moved in to your new place. I can imagine how very tired you must be. And yes, memories, so very many memories. Your Larry is with you. Go slow with the unpacking. Do find essentials like dog food and your toothbrush! Take care to rest. Stair climbing can be so very tiring. When we had our home built here in AZ everything is all on one level - no stairs for me unless it's in the gym.

I just had to reply to your request for some energy. I gift much energy to you. Anne

[kayc]

I keep hoping I get to die before I have to move, I will be in the same boat..."where's the dogfood, where's my toothbrush" indeed! I'm glad you still have your sense of humor at least!

Anne, love the energy you sent her!

[mfh]

Deborah, I have this imagine of you standing in the midst of total chaos looking for a toothbrush and dog food. I did it once when Bill about 10 months before Bill died and we moved to the town we are in now thinking he would have some places to walk. I do hope by now you found the toothbrush and the dog food...essentials. And I hope you sneak in some naps before you return to work.

Peace peace peace

Mary

[LarrysGirl]

an update.... found the toothbrush but where is my silverware??? had help today from brother and son to finish wrapping up my previous home, so much was in the attic, don't remember these things at all. almost fainted this afternoon, too little to eat, rushing and lifting too much, broke out in a sweat and dizzy. I'm very tired tonite, going to bed now, tired beagle also, she's finally settling in. Will post some pictures soon, Deborah

[mfh]

Well, I am delighted you can brush your fangs. I was getting ready to call Colgate and have them ship you a carton. I am sorry, however, that the situation has exhausted you. Is there anyway you and your worn out, stress out beagle can take at least a half day off, eat some food, take a nap...I assume you can find the bed...pretty hard to miss. Seriously....some rest...passing out is just not on the list. Please...rest. You can not get that house set up in one week...a month for basics at least.

Mary

[kayc]

I hope you find your silverware...perhaps you can buy some plastic in the meantime? You should go for fast food anyway as exhausted as you are! (grab an extra fork)

I hope you and pooch sleep well!