New Here...not Sure Where To Start

[flowrpowr]

So I just joined this site per a suggestion of a mailed brochure that was about dealing with loss from a hospice place in Arizona. My mother passed away from breast cancer in January of this year. This was something that we had both seen coming, but couldn't have possibly anticipated the process, effects, and definitely couldn't have felt more unprepared even though I was "prepared".

Im 28, and currently live alone. Sometimes the person I am seeing comes and stays with me for a few days. I don't really know what to say. It is a day by day process for me in terms of greiving, and lately, I have started to feel pretty low about it. I decided to attempt to be proactive and work towards healing, rather than get caught up in negative emotions and letting that decide how my day will end up.

When I read the description to this forum, many of those things sounded familiar to me. I rarely am aware of what day it is and constantly forget small things that normally I would never have trouble remembering. When I attended the funeral, I stayed at a Holiday Inn. A woman I talked to while smoking a cigarette told me to pursue bereavement support and groups so this is my attempt at doing so.

I feel like my grief and sadness is effecting relationships in my life and that I am a burden to most people. I will see my therapist on thursday and have just been trying to make it through the week.

[MartyT]

You start exactly the way you've done here, my dear: by taking the first step. It's good to know that you are ready and willing to ask for the support you need and deserve. This path is challenging enough without thinking you must travel it all alone. There are many here who've gone before you, and many more who are walking right beside you. Welcome. ♥

[mfh]

Reaching out for help as you grieve is a big step and I am glad you have taken it. You have found a place where you will be understood and heard. Everyone here have walked and are currently walking through the days and months following a significant loss. We welcome you and invite you to share your pain, your story, and anything you wish to share with us. People log on and post every day sharing their stories and reaching out to each other and expressing the pain that comes with our significant losses.

Many who grieve feel they are a burden to others because most just do not know how to respond to grief. People here do know how to respond and you are free to share our tears and sadness here. You will never be a burden here.

Losing our moms is huge for the vast majority of people, perhaps everyone. My own mom died 8 years ago and I still miss her and though the tears of that loss have subsided, I know she lives in my heart. I urge you to do some reading about loss and grief. Since we live in a culture that does not educate us about this, most of us come into a significant loss without the knowledge we need about how grief is. A good starting place is Marty's blog (www.grieflhealingblog.com). Here is a good place on her site to start:

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/09/mother-loss-list-of-suggested-resources.html

I am glad you found us and I will look for your posts.

Peace,

Mary

[kayc]

It's been a months since you've posted, and I'm not sure if you've been back or not, but if you're here, I hope you've done some reading on "Loss of Parent" section. There you'll find others who have gone through what you have. Losing a parent is pivotal in one's life, and particularly the last parent as that seems to be the passing the baton moment in our lives, when no longer is someone else responsible for carrying the family history and being the glue that holds it together, but now it comes to us. Our parents knew and loved us from the time we were conceived, there is no other quite like a parent to love unconditionally, because we are. It is from them we get our traits, our mannerisms, our interests and quirks.

I hope you will continue to post here and voice your feelings, it is in expression we are validated.

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother.