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Still Here But Already Gone


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This by far is the hardest thing I have ever had to experience. I thought watching my mother slowly and painfully die was it, but having my husband with azlihmer {cant spell very well} is hard as it gets. It isnt bad enough that we are so many years apart,but now he has started thinking strange things after 9yrs of being married nothing seems right. although he is still with me in body he has been goon in mind for only a couple of months.But in that time he him and his boys have caused so much trouble that we are all waisting time with that rather what little time we have together. At this time I dont know if leaving wouldnt be better, because stress is one of the worst things for this.

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I am so sorry your husband and you are dealing with Alzheimer's disease and that others are complicating the situation. My husband died with Alzheimer's disease and as we know it is a challenging and sad disease. It sounds like you need some support from a group. The Alzheimer ' s Association has these support groups so perhaps starting there would be wise. See what services are available. I would urge you to contact your medical center where your husband is being treated and have them assist you with finding a group. I am not certain if you are able to leave your husband alone and if not there are caregivers who can assist. Again, your best source of information might be your medical center. Taking care of yourself is essential as this is an exhausting journey.

I will come back later with more specific resources and others will step in and support you through this.

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I know you feel very alone right now. I do not know what you mean in your first post when you say, "At this time I don't know if leaving wouldn't be better, because stress is one of the worst things for this." I am confused. You said your husband has been gone in mind for two months. I can help you better if you provide a bit more information. Here are some links to articles and one to a list that may assist you. I will watch for your post.


Understanding Grief


About Grief


Articles by Marty (founder of this site and moderator/counselor)


Poem by me

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  • 5 weeks later...

I don't know if you are still reading or not, but I am so sorry you and your husband find yourselves in this situation. In the beginning it can be very frightening to the Alzheimer's patient because they know something is wrong, but after a while, I'm not sure they're aware and it can actually seem harder for those who love and care for them as they watch them slip away or seem unreachable.

My mom has Dementia but I am not her caregiver, she requires 24/7 care so she is in a care center...she also has Leukemia and is on hospice. My husband passed on nearly nine years ago so I know what it is to be alone. This place has been my salvation as it's been a safe place to express myself and there are others going through similar situations. It's actually become like an extended family, one that lives all over the world, but we check in with each other.

Hospice has a lot of helps, have you talked with them? I know the demands of taking care of your husband has to feel overwhelming (I have been a caregiver) and you don't have time to get away much as it requires getting someone to be with him, but it can help to have someone come in while you get groceries, etc. and just have a break, however small.

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