Guest Guest_Beth_* Posted December 14, 2005 Report Share Posted December 14, 2005 I lost my Mom in March of this year, and my Dad passed away in 1988. It seems like everyday I am feeling worse, and the pain never seems to ease. I am only 42, have no brothers or sisters and feel totaly abandoned and lost. I knew that this Christmas would be especially difficult, I just didn't expect to be crying everyday at any given moment.My Mom and I lived in the same state, but it was a 10 hour trip by car and the town she lived in was in a very remote area so flying was never an option. She made the decision to move closer to her family after my Dad passed away and I only got to see her once or twice a year. To be honest our relationship was somewhat strained, we were just so different and we really didn't understand each other. Last year for the first time in 5 years, she was able to come to my home for Christmas and we were able to spend just one day together. That was the last time I saw her. She died in the hospital on March 13th after a short illness and I made it to the hospital an hour too late. She did have family surrounding her when she died, but the guilt I feel is overwhelming.What I am having the hardest time with is accepting that things will never be the same again. Christmas Eve was always special in my family, and all the good memories that I have of those times just make me feel even more isolated.I have a great husband, two wonderful dogs, a good job and a comfortable life, but sometimes I think I would give it all up just to see my parents again. I wonder if I will ever get to the point where I can just enjoy the holidays like I used to, and take comfort in the past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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