J'espere Posted April 21, 2014 Report Share Posted April 21, 2014 First, I would like to thank everyone here for reading, writing, sharing your stories, and opening your hearts. Each of you have touched and will touch the lives of others in ways you may never know. I am grateful for having this forum. Like a number of you here, I also found myself in great emotional need last year, after my girlfriend shut me out when she lost her grandmother. I promised myself that I had to come back here to say thank you. And in sharing my story, hopefully you may find some words of encouragement or inspiration, no matter how small. My Story (or a summary of events so far): - Met my dream woman, fell deeply in love - It was a long distance relationship - We made plans to spend time together - Her grandmother passed away - She broke off all contact - In desperation, I tried to visit her house, I called (many times), emailed, sent gifts, and even telegrams (yes, they still exist). - I started to lose sleep and interest in everything else... This is when I found this forum. And if you have read though the stories here you know you are not alone. Reading through the pages of stories, words of advice and support every night helped me get through a really tough autumn and winter. I gained a new understanding and perspective on what was happening. ----- For those of you who hurting or confused right now because someone you love/loved has pushed you away: - Stop, take a step back - Desperation, obsession, and fixation will ruin you and ruin any chance you may have left with him or her. - Let go of these thoughts... - Now breathe - Let your emotions and thoughts flow through your mind, acknowledge them, and let them drift away again... - Ask yourself, do you love him or her? - Then you need to give them the time and space to do what they need to do. - Listen when they say that they need this - Read when they write that now is not a good time - Realize that love is a journey and the road will be long; things may not get better next week, next month, or even next year. - But if you love him or her, you would do anything right? - Then let them do what they need to do. - You, need to take care of yourself. - Even though he or she is not there right now, you still have so much love to give. - The one person you want so badly is in no state of mind or heart to receive your love. - Look around - Appreciate all the family, friends, pets, and kind strangers in your life - Look closely again and you'll start to see all the wonder and life that is all around you. - All of these people and things need your love too. ----- As others have said it before on this forum, there is probably no good explanation why some people react and behave one way and others differently when it comes to loss. Eight months after my last contact with my love, she emailed me again. Those eight months may be a blur for her. But they seemed like an eternity to me. We are now trying to get back in contact with each other. I do not expect everything to be like they were before. Certainly she is a different person, and I feel many years older. I will, however, be very grateful for the chance to fall in love with her all over again. Even if I get hurt, I would do it all over again. I know I have so much love to give. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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