My Baby Girl Died And I Am Depressed And Heartbroken -Please Help

[allhallowseve2000]

I just don't know what to do---I have been depressed all my life w/some social anxiety, etc. Last year - my furry baby boy died, my dad died, boss died, grandma died, separated from longtime girlfriend, and now my baby girl has passed away.

I'm 40, single, and she is the only thing I ever really looked forward too. I don't know how to cope w/the loss...I've even considered the ultimate...but don't know if I'd have the guts.

Anyways - Please help...Desperately sad.

[kayc]

I am so sorry you lost your little girl! She's such a sweet little thing! I know how hard that is, especially when she was everything to you and you've already suffered so many losses. When that happens we sometimes feel hit with all of the losses at once as it's compounded, and it can be a lot to handle. You've already survived so much and probably feel like she was all that was holding you together. I've been there, I've suffered a lot in my life. Try to hang in there and not do anything rash...that would deprive you of any future joy that you can have. I know you don't see it right now, but there is still a lot of life waiting to be experienced. Do you not feel you could love another? I know it's soon, but you might consider fostering until you'd be ready to pick another furry companion. In the last nine years I lost my husband, several cats, I remarried and he turned out to be a con that stuck me with $50k of his debt and left me for someone else the same week my dog died. I've lost my job three times in the last nine years. The best thing I ever did was go to the pound and get another dog. He is my best companion and I don't know how I'd have survived these last couple of job losses without him. He is my joy and inspiration, what I come home to and look forward to. I hope you'll consider it because you have a lot inside of you to share.

I'm sorry your girlfriend is so far away, mine just went to TX for 2 1/2 months and may soon marry and relocate there. I will miss her more than I can say, but I know life has its phases and I'm about to enter another one...I've already survived so much, I know I will this too.

Meanwhile, I hope you will continue to post here, it helps to express yourself and know you are heard and even if we can't change your situation, we care and we're here. This is the picture that captured my heart, I brought him home that very night...his name is Arlie.

[MartyT]

My friend, we haven't heard back from you so I'm just checking in with you in hopes that you will see this.

You haven't said what, if any, support you have around you. You describe yourself as desperately sad, you don't know how to cope with your loss, and you've "even considered the ultimate," which I presume means that you've even had thoughts of suicide as a way to stop your pain. I want you to know that your cry for help is being heard.

I am gratified to know that you managed to find your way to this warm and caring place, and I hope you know that there are lots and lots of resources available to support you through all the losses you've endured, including the most recent loss of your beloved baby girl. We can point you to many of them, but it will be up to you to make the effort to use whatever you find. I think it's important ~ indeed, essential ~ that you don't try to bear this burden all alone. People who are grieving need to be with others who understand their pain ~ and this is especially true when we are mourning the loss of a cherished animal companion, because so many people tend to minimize or discount pet loss as not even being worthy of grief. I can assure you that we do not see it that way here.

Please click on these links and do some reading about what is normal in the grief you are experiencing. I promise that the more you understand what you are feeling and why, the better prepared you will be to manage your own reactions.

Coping with Pet Loss: Am I Crazy to Feel So Sad About This?

Thoughts of Suicide in Grief

Losing a Cherished Pet: Myths and Misconceptions

Finding Support for Pet Loss

Is Pet Loss Comparable to Loss of a Loved One?

A Bill of Rights for Grieving Animal Lovers

Memorializing a Cherished Pet