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Lost My Dad 2 Years Ago

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I'm 13 and I lost my dad 2 years ago from a heart attack. I struggle everyday with the loss of him. He was my role model and a great person over all. He was a state police officer. I always think about who is going to walk me down the isle or who will go with me to father daughter dances. I have really nobody I can think of as a second dad. It is hard to believe how much people are missed once their gone. Has anyone else had to worry about doing things without their dad? If so how did you deal with it? Honestly I feel so alone.

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Hello Abigail,

I am so very sorry to hear that you lost your dad two years ago. I just can’t imagine how very hard this is for you. It is difficult to lose a parent at any age but you are so young. After all, our parents are who nurture and care for us. It is perfectly normal for you to miss your dad and to wonder about things in the future.

I am glad that you are talking about your dad. It is good to remember all those things you did together. Making a photo collage of your dad’s pictures or keeping a treasure chest of things that were your dad’s or remind you of your dad gives you something tangible to look at during hard times. A journal is something you can start and in it talk to your dad and express your fears and concerns. Tell him what you are doing ~ how you are doing in school, what worries you, what makes you happy. During special days like his birthday or a holiday add his memory to the celebrations. Bake his favorite dessert or fix one of his favorite meals in honor of him. Start working on a video of things you are doing as you grow up ~ important days like your birthday, graduations or special days and on a very special day like your wedding play the video in memory of your dad. Include him in your every day life even though he is no longer on this earth as you need him to be, he is still with you.

Finding a youth group of kids who have lost a parent can help you so you don’t feel so all alone.

You asked if "anyone else had to worry about doing things without their dad" and I can tell you that no matter the age going on without your father is tough. My father died before I had children. He never got to see his grand child or his great grandchildren. That was hard for me.

We have counselors here who can direct you to resources.

I send you hugs.


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My dear Abigail, I too am so sorry to learn of your dad's death two years ago, but I'm glad you found your way to this group of very caring people, and I hope you can feel our loving arms around you.

Anne has given you some very valuable advice, and I hope you will try some of the wonderful ideas she has shared with you.

I also invite you to read these articles, which contain some additional suggestions that you may find helpful:

Teen Grief: Mourning The Death Of A Parent

Teen Struggles With Reaction to Dad's Death

I really like this article, too: Successful Children Who Lost a Parent: Why Are There So Many of Them?

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I am so sorry you lost your dad at such a young age. As time goes by you will get more used to how things are but you will never stop missing him. I was 29 when I lost my dad and pregnant with my first child. He would have been such a good grandpa, I feel my kids and him really missed out. I have always had a feeling he knows what's going on though. My son just graduated from college with two degrees and is giving the commencement speech and was named senior of the year, summa cum laude, and it has been on my mind a lot how much my dad would have been so proud of him.

I love Anne's response and Marty has given you some very good links to read. I only know that I carry my dad, grandpa, MIL, FIL, and husband inside my heart until the day I can be rejoined with them.

You asked who will walk you down the aisle. By the time you are married, perhaps you will have an informal wedding where such formalities don't exist, or perhaps your husband will have a brother or father that will do it. Try not to worry about these things, but know your dad will be looking at you with glowing eyes as he sees you embark on a new chapter in your life. When you have children, know your dad is proud of them and wishes he could tell you so.

It is so important to live life to the fullest. None of us know how long our lives will be, that's why it's so important to make our lives count and enjoy it while we can. Do what you know would make your dad proud of you and continue looking up to him...he lives in your heart.

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