Drugs Took Her Away From Me

[40yearsoflove]

The whole story would take forever so to make a long story as short as possible drugs took the love of my life away from me and I am sitting here wishing I knew what to do to make it better. Molly and I have known each other for 38 years. When my wonderful wife died back in 2007 with cancer I thought my world had ended. Then a year or so later i ran into Molly and one thing lead to another we got together. After a short rekindling of what was once a romance made in heaven she decided to move in with me. I had no idea at that time that her 2 grown sons were heavily into drugs, using and manufacturing. Her oldest son is 33 years old, has no job, no drivers license, homeless. I know she loves her son and when he constantly sent her text messages telling her how he was starving and sleeping in ditches she kept asking me if he could stay with us "until he could get his life in order." Well, needless to say, after he moved in for months, that never happened and after many arguments she rented an apartment so her son could have a place to stay and being the loving mother she moved in with him. Now for almost 2 weeks I am sitting here wishing I knew what to do to get her back. I know she is enabling his bad behaviour but she can't seem to see that.

[kayc]

Honestly, your best bet for saving this relationship is to enter into family counseling. You can't make her see what is plain to you and I but perhaps a counselor can. At least they'd know how to proceed for some resolution. I am so sorry, you've been through enough and now this. A 33 year old should be responsible for their own life and if they live with you they should have boundaries and responsibilities and if they don't adhere to them, they need to leave. Believe me, I know how hard this is for a mother, but you have to do what is best for them and that is helping them stand on their own feet, believing in them to be able to not only do so but to problem solve for themselves. Perhaps what he needs is rehab, not staying with Mommy.

Have you thought of contacting Dr. Phil? It's worth a shot and honestly, if he'd take you, they'd provide all the best resources and know where to start.