I'm So Depressed

[jalk]

Hi folks. I'm new to this forum. I just need to vent and say how absolutely awful, depressed and anxious I feel. My beloved little dog I've had since 8 weeks of age is not doing well. They think he has a brain tumor. He is 16 now. They think this because the first part of this year he started having seizures. All blood work was normal. I did not let them confirm with an MRI because he is a pug and has a flat nose. They have a hard time with anesthesia.

He paces a lot. Seizures controlled with meds but lately he is unable to stand up from lying down position. My vet said she would put him down or try him on pred or whatever I wanted. She felt he was not suffering but feels his quality of life is not good. She feels he does not recognize anyone. I opted for Predinsone. He seems a little more with it but paces constantly. I have to physically help him lay down so he will rest otherwise he paces for hours and hours.

I have a sitter coming in a couple times a day to take him out to potty and fill his water dish. I am trying to contact a geriatric/hospice vet now. Waiting to hear back from her. It costs a lot but it doesn't matter to me because I love him so much.

This has consumed me....I feel terrible. How does one ever survive this?

[jalk]

Hi ..I am new to this forum. I feel so sick. I have my very best friend of 16 yrs old who is not doing well. I have had him since he was 8 weeks. He is everything to me. They think he has a brain tumor because he started having seizures first part of this year. He is on seizure meds which seem to help. Lately however he can not stand up on his own when in a lying position. I have to help him up. Then he paces and paces and paces for hours. My vet said she could put him to sleep as she feels his quality of life is not good. She thinks he does not recognize anyone anymore. Well his vision is bad too. I opted for her to give him Pred. She does not think he;s suffering.

I have such bad feelings not knowing what I should do....I do not feel strong enough to have him put to sleep. I've cried for weeks. How does anyone survive this?

[mfh]

Dear jalk

I am so very sorry your best friend is not doing well. I also understand how much he means to you and to know there is something wrong that you can do little about leaves you feeling helpless and so very sad. Somehow we do survive these tough decisions and these huge losses.

I am attaching some links you may find helpful as you make this decision. It is so difficult to let go and to keep in mind that we want what is best for our pet i.e. not to have him suffer or struggle. When my last dog died in 2000, I, like you did not know what to do. I called a friend who was also my dog's vet and she said to me that I would know when it is time. That is what happened but I had to focus on what was best for my dog...and that was difficult and also in a sense easy as I watched him struggle to stand up as you are watching your dog struggle. Your grief tells how deep your relationship is with your furbaby and I know you will put his needs first. But read over some of these articles to see if they help you.

http://www.petlossathome.com/pet-loss-grief-support-resources-handout/

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/10/a-bill-of-rights-for-grieving-animal.html

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/01/helping-another-with-pet-loss.html

By Marty Tousley

http://www.selfhealingexpressions.com/dealing_with_a_pet_death.shtml

Members here are very sensitive to losing a pet and many here have lost their pets even recently. I am dealing right now with my 11 year old Golden who has cancer. Believe me you are in good company here and I hope you will continue to post, share your pain, pictures and stories about your dog, and read what others have posted. We will walk through this with you.

Peace to your heart,

Mary

[mfh]

I am not certain where you are located but if there is a local Hospice center, they may be able to help you find a hospice pet vet. This group may help also:

https://www.iaahpc.org/

[MartyT]

My heart goes out to you as I read your story, my dear, and as Mary says, we certainly do appreciate how very difficult this must be for you. In addition to the resources she has offered, I want to suggest a few more that I hope will help as you come to a decision:

Pet Hospice Is Alive and Doing Well

Nine Questions to Consider When Planning Your Pet's End-of-Life Care

When Is It Time?

You asked how does anyone survive this, and the answer is that we do it one day, one hour, one moment at a time, preferably surrounded by others who understand the agony of losing a cherished animal companion and can offer us the support we need and deserve. You've found your way here, and we want you to know that you are not alone. We've all been where you are now, we are here for each other, and we'll be here for you too.

Pet Loss: Is It A Different Kind of Grief?

Five Ways to Help Yourself Through Pet Loss

[kayc]

I am sorry to have not responded sooner, I've been gone for a few days and just missed your post. I am so sorry for the situation you are in, and understand all too well. I was extremely close to my granddoggy, Skye, as he'd lived with me off and on and I took care of him a lot, plus he was just a very special dog. The last 2 1/2 years of his life were very difficult as he couldn't walk any more and became incontinent. My son asked me how you know when it's time and my answer to him was you take care of them just like you would an elderly person, taking no thought for inconvenience, but the time to let go was when he was suffering or no longer had any quality of life. You might think Skye had no quality of life as he could no longer go camping or on hikes, but we would pull him in his little wagon and he loved it. He also loved having his ears rubbed and anyone laying down on the floor or grass with him and just loving him and caressing him and talking to him, he would smile. His final day he had a physical incident that caused him tremendous pain (I won't go into it here) that made me feel he lived one day too many. I had been talking to my son the last two weeks that it was time, and now he knew it was beyond time and had him put to sleep. Sometimes it is really hard to know. We have to make sure we aren't keeping them alive for our own benefit but for theirs. But it's very hard to predict what pain or suffering they might go through so it's hard to know exactly the right time. Plus, Skye was very stoic and I'm sure he suffered and didn't let on. We buried him in my back yard and I got a memorial stone for him...he will always be missed but he lives on in our hearts. I believe their spirits continue and we will be reunited again.

The question..."Pet Loss: Is it a different kind of grief?"...yes, one of the hardest there is as we are so close to our furbabies, but it rates up there with losing my husband, emotionally. Very hard, but can be gotten through, as I can attest.

I welcome you to come here as often as you want, and express yourself, it helps to get your feelings and thoughts out and know you are heard. We are here.

[enna]

I am so very sorry to hear about your little pug doggy. It is so hard to have a pet who starts out with us so alive and then starts to face serious problems.

You have been given many links to follow that will help you through this time. So many of us are animal lovers and it tears at our hearts to see them ill.

Anne