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My Wedding Day With My Dad And Bridesmaid.


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In about a year we will be getting married. This is something I was excited about but with the sudden losses of my niece (who would've been one of my bridesmaids) and my dad I wasn’t feeling into it anymore. I lost the two of them within a few weeks of each other and my granddad a year before. My thoughts on the wedding kept slipping to what I wouldn’t have that I should, rather than what it really represents, how my daddy wouldn’t walk me down the aisle, say a hilarious speech about how he felt sorry for my poor husband (and he would've said so too) etc. And after finally convincing him to dance with me, I'm devastated it won't happen. Even though, he threatened that his dancing would be disco dancing, and it probably would have been just to embarrass me!

Recently I have started to look at it better. I have decided that I will only have two bridesmaids instead of three even though the bridal party will be lopsided. My brother who lost his only daughter will walk me down the aisle. This was his idea and I was reluctant to at first because I know it'll make me an absolute mess. It's as close as either of us is going to get to how it should be but it's still incredibly special. My flowers will come from the plant we planted on Mum and Dad's farm where we stood to scatter Dad's ashes. Not the best 'wedding flowers', but without a doubt the best flowers for my wedding. We will also use petals from my niece's favourite flowers to line the aisle and will light a yankee candle of her favourite scent in memory of everyone who can't be there.

I initially thought this was a lot of focus on what was and not on us but looked at in context of the whole big day I am happy that they are a small but valuable reflection of the people who helped us to that point and meant to much to us. If anyone has any thoughts on this or any other ideas to incorporate them into the day (focusing more on how important they are to us than what we have lost) please share.

Then we just need to sort out the venue now since we cancelled the first date and now someone else has it! Haha.

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My dear, your wedding plans sound wonderful to me, with all the creative ways you've found to remember and include the loved ones who cannot be there with you physically ~ Good for you!

You've asked for other ideas, so I invite you to see this series of posts on the What's Your Grief website: A Wedding Guide for Grievers: Tips for Remembering and Coping

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