Lost My Border Terrier

[kayc]

Sorry about the snow...I hate it when that starts! I hope you can start your days off sooner. Enjoy!

[mkroberts16]

Due to the snow coming to CT..I am picking Bourbon up tomorrow afternoon...I am nervous, excited and sad all at the same time these last 3 months have been more than I bargained for.

saw grief counselor tonight she says all I am feeling is NORMAL

I can't wrap my head around all of this!!!!

[kayc]

You have a good grief counselor then. Try to keep the loss of Bailey separate from your getting Bourbon so you can give him the love he deserves, even while yet mourning Bailey. I know it's a lot to take in!

I'm excited for you and can't wait to hear how it's going. I remember getting Arlie as a one year old puppy and how overwhelming it was...he chewed on everything, he was sick, he wasn't housebroke like they said, but it was no time at all and he was the love of my life and fit right in...all the stuff he chewed I figured I could live without anyway, and none of it matters now, all that matters is HIM! And it only took two weeks to housebreak him and I've finally figured out how to keep him healthy.

[mkroberts16]

home.bmphome.bmp

Bourbon is home! went last night because of coming snowstorm.

Velvet, my cat under bed..not liking this

I cried and smiled going to pick him up and the same, leaving breeders with him and remembering the day I did the same with Bailey at the same spot.

its hard, but feels good to cuddle Bourbon...he is so darn cute

Its a double edged sword!!!

Hope you can see the picturehome.bmp

[MartyT]

Congratulations, Mommy ~ and welcome home, dear little Bourbon!

[kayc]

I can see he's cute in the picture! since you have to download it in order to view it, I will try to blow it up and save as a jpg so I can see more detail.

I hope you were able to get some sleep last night and Kitty will adjust soon. One of my cats hates dogs, it took her two years before she'd come in after I got Arlie, they're fine together now though. The other cat is used to dogs and loves them, puts on a brave front. I hope your adjustment is brief.

Enjoy your cute cuddly puppy!

(click on picture to see it)

[mkroberts16]

Thank you Mary and Kay....I appreciate your supportive words, espcially because so many have not supported in this loss of Bailey and new pet, Bourbon.

I know as soon as I take him out to walk around the neighborhood, 2 of my so-called friends who no longer talk to me over this, (and we have been friends 20 years) will see me and There will be comments, or even more hurtful, NO interaction at all!.

Anyway, today is just settling in....I have cried and smiled both Little Bourbon is asleep

My cat not too happy /////stayng under the bed since last night

I keep praying for guidence and strength....and wait to get HERE for your support!!!

Thank you so much....I will try to get a better picture...

[kayc]

Poor kitty,..he/she will adjust but it can take time. I hope you enjoy this long weekend with Bourbon!I do not understand why friends would act like this!

[mkroberts16]

Do you like my first sweater?

[enna]

I love the sweater, Marcia. Bourbon is so sweet. I for one am glad that you have him in your life. You did what was in your heart when getting Bourbon and that is all that matters. Your cat will find its way out from under the bed and I just know they will be good friends.

Anne

[mkroberts16]

Thanks, Anne..I took alot of grief leading up to this for the last 3 months.

I cry still over losing my BEST friend, Bailey....I look for her in her spot in the kitchen

But I had to get another fur baby K9 to love and care for, in addition to my fur ball kitty

[kayc]

Bourbon looks right at home, all snuggly in his sweater. I hope you enjoyed your day together. Has Kitty peeked out yet?

[mkroberts16]

Kitty has come into the kitchen..only to jump out and over the gate after Bourbon tried to go next to her.....that was today....It's a little better but kitty is afraid of Bourbon's crys of excitment.

I still look at the corner in the kitchen where Bailey was sleeping last.....OMG she comes into my thoughts ans I stop whatever I am doing...I hope I have done the right thing.......I loved her so much I would never hurt her or turn my back on her....I do cry for her......

In many ways, Bourbon acts a lot like Bailey.... and I understand it.....Border Terriers are a special group!

[kayc]

I watch Jackson in "My Cat from Hell" and I've gotten a lot of pointers from the show...cats are different creatures, we have to enter their world. We can't change them but we can change their environment to make them feel safe. Have you thought of putting in shelves up high, something for her to climb up to them, so she can be up and see what's going on, but have a safe place to run to when she wants? I really wish I'd watched this show before I got Kitty...she spent almost two years outside before she'd venture indoors after I got my dog, Arlie. Now she's used to him and fine, but oh how afraid she was at first!

[kayc]

I know, you'll think about Bailey for quite a while, and he'll still pop up in your mind the rest of your life.

[mkroberts16]

You know, I think of the other dogs I have had, like the 3 I had w/ my husband, and when they each left me..it brought so much back. I miss them and think of those "good" days....but something about Ms.Bailey that she tugs so much at my heart strings and emotions. I still say some of it is because I am older now and ALONE.....Bailey filled such a void in my life after loosing break up w/ log time boyfriend, losing my car after it died and I had to wait for a while to get another one...and then the ultimate loss: Bailey As I look back at my life....evrything / everyone has left. (when I suddenly lost my husband , my mom was there for me all of the way!!!! and I was only 31.)lost family, good jobs, house, then condo, etc OMG it's over whelming to consider!!!And of course, the holiday season does NOT help. This has always been my most favorite time of the year, bar none!!!!!!!! But again, I lost my husband and my mom both around the holidays and my birthday, too.

Bourbon is a bundle of energy and I know that is scaring cat. Even wehn B. is in the crate...kitty still afraid...

[kayc]

I know, my Kitty was like that too but she finally made her peace with Arlie, it took a long time, I didn't try to force it, some say you should, but she was so terrified, I let her make up her own mind. It wasn't until the neighbor cats were bullying her that she decided she'd rather come back in the house and face "the dog". They actually get along great now, they don't sleep together or get that chummy, but they've settled into a coexistence.

I, too, know what loss is, I've lost my beloved husband, that was the worst of all, I'll never "be over it", I've lost my parents, niece, nephew, grandparents, most of my aunts and uncles, many dogs and cats. I lost my favorite job of all time, then had to work for the worst boss in the world for seven long years, commuting 100+ miles per day. How I did it, I don't know. I was laid off from full time to one day a week for a year and he expected me to keep up my full time work! I looked hard for a job, never got one, I imagine age had something to do with it. When I finally lost that job, (the morning after I got hit by a truck), I decided I was done. I retired. It was earlier than I'd planned and I am poor, have to watch every penny and even sell on eBay to make ends meet. But I am so glad to be done with working...I spent 45 years working in offices and most places I enjoyed it but the last one killed me.

I know I'll feel the same when my Arlie goes...I've been alone for nearly ten years now. During that time, my son came home after getting out of the Air Force and before he started college and my daughter was here the first few months, and her friend, but too much drama. I enjoyed living with my son, but he's fully launched now so I know I'll continue to live alone. I tried remarrying but he was a con that fooled me...he pretended he'd live here but when we got married he moved back where he came from 3 1/2 hours away (so he could live a double life). I made the best of it, one of us would commute to see the other on the weekends. That was the first year. The second year he used my credit ($50,000.00) to "start a business" that he was supposed to put in my name...but he didn't he put it in his name. Then he quit his job and went into hiding, sticking me with all the bills. I found out from a policewoman that he was living with another woman in our RV...I never even got to spend one night in it! He set me up. He actually lived in Portland with another woman before this, he'd go to all the trouble to clear her and her stuff out when I'd come up! It reads like a Jerry Springer or Dr Phil show. These are things that happen on t.v., not to yourself! I will be paying on the debt the rest of my life. I tried one more time, had a fiance, he broke up with me when his mom was dying. I gave up on guys. I know there's good ones out there, I just don't seem to meet them or know how to tell the difference. I try to look for the right things, even getting background checks, but still I've gotten burned. After four marriages and two broken engagements, I called it quits. I have my Arlie, and we are very close. So my life isn't that unlike yours, living alone, and my dog means everything to me. I love my cats but they don't act like a dog does, dogs are so sensitive to you, so loving, whereas cats are pretty much into themselves and what's in it for them. Still, I love them and it will be hard when they go. Kitty is 19 and Miss Mocha is probably about 14-16, it's hard telling, I got her after she was abandoned so I don't have history on her.

When is your birthday?

[mkroberts16]

Hi Kay, I appreciate you sharing your life story w/ me....mine is pretty similar but only married once...but alot of other likenesses, for sure!

My birthday is January 16th .... Capricorn....

You osund like a survivor and thats' what many people have called me!! My Grandmother was my ideal survisor, she passed away at 104 and lived on her own for many years her husband died in his forties, suddenly, also so she raised 5 kids, buried all of them , then left this world for a better place after all of that....

When is YOUR birthday???

[kayc]

I'm Oct. 7. Wow, your grandmother lived to 104?! That's amazing!! I can't imagine outliving my husband nearly 60 years. I've only done ten, and that's been hard enough. And to raise five kids on her own too?! Your grandmother deserves her "better place".

[mkroberts16]

I came in the house tonight and thought so hard about Bailey. That this is the first Christmas in 16 years w/o her! OMG that's a long time. I always knew she was there...I am telling you...she felt like a person in my life...her stocking is still hanging in the living room...Now I have added Bourbon's. I don't know, I don't think I am doing well.

I am still seeing grief counselor we talk of way more than just losing Bailey...many others as well.

I just don't feel peaceful.

[kayc]

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. It will get better eventually, it takes a long time to process and deal with it. The stronger the relationship, the harder the grief.