Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

I Believe My Vet Was Negligent - Cat Euthanised. What Can I Do ?


Maria A M

Recommended Posts

Hello,

First time I have done this. This very dificult to think about let alone write, but Im hoping someone may have some ideas about how i proceed to make this vet accountable. apologies it is fairly long but its the only way I can give a fullish piscture.

My cat meant the world to me and I have suffered 9 months of devastation only to find (i believe ) that my vet got it wrong, and the guilt of me having made the final decision based on what she said !!!

I totally trusted this vet, got on well with her, and had no reason to doubt her. She works in a busy well respected practice.

My beloved cat was euthanised when I was told he had liver failure which could not be treated - he was poorly at that point, so this was the right thing to do I thought at the time, .... fast forward to 9 months of nagging doubt and emense distress.....

......to find that following an operation he had had to remove a cystic growth from his liver 3.5 months before his death - there had been an incidental finding in the histopathology that had been low grade Cholangitis. This is a treatable disease, and can be managed if caught early enough, if left untreated it can result in death. I was never told he had that disease and that the hospital who had done the surgery had asked him to be referred back should had he started to show symptoms.

Two months after discharge from the hospital , he started to show illness, poor appetite foot infection that wouldn't clear, and things just were not right - I went back and forth to the vet trying to help him. He was also strangely putting on weight - which ofcourse now I realise was ascites - my vet did blood tests, missed all this !!... she said constipation, megacolon, arthitis....but she never made reference to him having cholingitis - it was as if she hadn't even read the diagnosis. In fact in all the 6 weeks when he was declining there had been no mention of this inflammatory liver disease - WHICH IS TREATABLE..... his ascites wasn't even diagnosed until a week before he was pts - ascites is chatacteristic of this disease, and animals can be treated with steroids with a good response - ofcourse this was unknown to me and aparently the vet.

Last month I asked the hospital where he had his surgery if I could see the info they had sent to my vet from his lab reports- I couldn't believe it when I saw the diagnosis - then it all fell into place.

Sorry this was meant to be brief

I would never have had him pts if I had known this, but at the time my vet said in humans he would need a Liver transplant - ofcourse not possible in cats - so there were no other options avaiable to him!!!

I finally decided to have him pts. I am angry I wasn't given the information 3 months earlier, or at all for gods sake!! - how could I make informed decisions about his life. I feel I have been misled as this info was witheld from me, she never made refernce to it or acknoledged that she was aware of it . When your told there is no recovery possible you make the decision to spare your pet a traumatic and distressing end - you can imagine my guilt

I will never euthanise an animal again.

I have beaten mysef up for months, had anxiety attacks, been ill off work and cry constantly, been eaten up by grief and guilt, and have thought of nothing else. This was a beautiful Chinchilla Persian rescued by myself when his former owners were about to have him pts

I am so angry with this vet. I have sent her many emails since his death asking various things to help me come to terms with it and always have had nagging doubts about her replys. Since seeing the letters from the hospital to vet I now I know why ofcourse!

I am going to have a meeting with her with my concerns since seeing the letter from the hospital, but just don't know what else I can do

I am so disgusted with what she has done, the path she led me down was to end the life of the to the most precious thing in the world to me - this has caused my such terribly distress and he has lost his life.

So sorry for the very long post

Would anyone have experience of how to proceed or where I could get get professional advice, and where to go from here really

Thanks

Maria

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Maria,

So very sadly, you are now one of the growing number of people who have lost a beloved furbaby to what certainly appears to be another horrible case of veterinary negligence, if not gross malpractice. I'm so terribly sorry for both the loss of your precious furboy and all the additional trauma this vet's lack of care has caused you. :( Grief is hard enough as it is, much less when a death needn't have even happened when or why it did.

But I've met others who have discovered the same kinds of gross negligence from vets (it's actually far more rampant than most people think), which also resulted in the deaths of their priceless animal companions. While the burden of guilt really belongs mainly with the vet her/himself, I also know most animal parents take it all upon themselves, and suffer greatly as a result. When the vet in question won't even admit to their own negligence, fearing reprisal for their actions, it only makes matters worse for the animal's parent. It's neither fair, ethical, nor honourable.

There are things you can do, although it's also well known that most professional veterinary organizations protect their own, so the client usually faces an uphill battle, and compensation, if any, tends to be quite small. Only you can decide if you have the strength and resources to tackle things in this manner. And while the gathering of necessary paperwork or other evidence and expert opinions should be done in a timely manner, you may want or need to put off making too hasty a decision during the throes of the worst of your grief. I know you said it's already been months since your loss, but it's still a subjective thing.

I also personally suffered a case of blatant negligence years ago, which didn't cause direct death, but did greatly affect and impede all following treatments of a pre-existing condition of my furboy's. So he and I still both suffered badly because of it and it then cost more, financially and emotionally, to try and manage after that. Had I known then everything I learned later, I definitely would have at least filed a complaint against her, or even pursued a further lawsuit, depending. The one difference though, was that this vet both admitted to and apologized for her reckless mistake, and in very short order. But personally, I wish many more people were more informed and would challenge such vets and their governing bodies, to help stop this growing indifference shown towards our treasured fur-childrens' lives.

There's much more I could add, but I want to make this as brief as possible, so you can take action asap if you wish. So I'm providing you a few links I think you'll need to start educating yourself about before you proceed any further. I'd suggest you read through them &/or others you may find before you speak to your vet again, to avoid mistakes and to protect yourself and your case should you want to pursue it. It also appears you're not in N. America, and if that's the case, you'd have to also do online searches for any available resources and country-specific info and laws governing such actions, as they may differ widely. You might also search online to see if your country has any animal-experienced solicitors (see below) from whom you could get additional advice if needed.

Detailed discussion on veterinary malpractice (US based):

https://www.animallaw.info/article/detailed-discussion-veterinarian-malpractice

ALDF (Animal Legal Defence Fund) page on what to do when you believe a vet has killed your animal:

http://aldf.org/resources/when-your-companion-animal-has-been-harmed/what-to-do-when-you-believe-a-vet-has-harmed-or-killed-your-companion-animal/

Similar advice, this one from Ireland

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/nireland/consumer_ni/consumer_professional_and_financial_services_e/consumer_vets_and_pets_e/consumer_vets_e/complaining_about_misconduct_or_negligence_vets.htm

General advice to resolve vet disputes, plus info on the RCVS (UK):

https://suite.io/cheryl-anne-jenkinson/3kdr2ea

An actual vet malpractic petition out of the UK, also containing some useful info and other links, including links for 3 solicitors experienced in fighting & winning such cases. Also see comments/"more reasons" for signing, to see how much company you actually have in losing an animal to bad vets. It may also be empowering for yourself to both sign and promote this petition while you're there:

http://www.change.org/p/uk-prime-minister-stop-veterinary-negligence-and-malpractice

Some statistics and info regarding complaints to the RCVS:

http://www.vetlife.org.uk/professional-issues/complaints-rcvs

If concrete actions & info such as this are not what you were looking for, I do sincerely apologize, but that is what I thought you were mainly asking for help with. In whatever case, I hope you find all the help you need for your compounded grief, and I do empathize greatly with the horrors you must be facing inside ever since. Since I have a friend who is still, years later, beating themselves up over both what they didn't know or do at the time, or even later on, plus trying to now spiritually forgive (for their own sake) the vet who failed their cat, I've seen what a tough battle this can all be, and my heart truly goes out to you and your furboy, too.

In deepest sympathy,

Maylissa

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't have any more to add to what Maylissa has already written, as she has posted an exhaustive response that well covers it. I hope you get the answers you need. The truth is, we rely on professionals, we aren't all trained in every field, nor can we be, and we are often at their mercy for it. My husband did not get the care he should have and died as a result, I didn't have sufficient evidence to hold his doctor accountable, but I know what I know and I know the questions he asked and the complaints he gave were never addressed like they should have been and had they been, he could have been treated before it was too late, he could have gotten a new lease on life and I wouldn't be going through life alone. It is a hard pill to swallow.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you so much Maylissa and KayC for all your kind words support and practical advice.

I am in the UK and will follow the RCVS link to see how to proceed. I don't want money - I want only what I can't have and an apology is scant compenasation.

I am actually scared to see the vet face to face - I have a letter ready to send her which includes a request for a meeting - but I am terrified how she will react and what state I will get myself in. But I am determined to be strong again for my boy - I owe it to him.

I have never known such pain as this and hope that I can come through it.

I know we are only human and mistakes are made - but this was just so easy to avoid - standard treatment fot a chronic condition following a concrete diagnosis, how could she not have acted - i am doumbfounded - anyway these are question for her to answer .......

Im so sorry to hear other people go through this and similar experiences all to frequently with their loved ones, as you both have.

So for my boy I am going to be strong, his fight may be over but mine has just begun

Thank you so much for thinking of me - I will post again following the meeting I have with the vet

Best wishes

Angie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Angie, You say you are scared...could you take a friend with you for moral support? They'd also witness what the vet says.

I probably would have taken action had I had proof of my husband's conversations with the doctor, but I don't. They write their remarks into their files and it'd be all too easy for them to cover theirselves. But I know from my conversations with him what he had brought up to the doctor, what he relayed to me that was said, etc...unfortunately in a court of law, that would be considered hearsay and the only credible witness (my husband) is dead. As it is, I did call them and tell them I never wanted them to let anyone else die again because of their not referring them to a cardiologist following obvious heart symptom complaints. I know of one other person this happened to also (same doctor).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Angie, KayC makes a good point -- having a witness with you, plus some moral support.

I'd also consider taking a voice recorder along if you can, as evidence of any conversation, even if you only used the recording for transcription purposes. After all, when we're upset, we tend not to hear, or just not remember, everything that's said. You'd have to check to see what the UK's laws are regarding recordings being permissible as evidence, or not. But in Canada (and our legal system is based on Britain's), apparently they're even allowed if only one person (e.i. you, as the one doing the recording) knows a conversation is being recorded. They're only disallowed if you're recording other people with whom you're NOT having a conversation...as in "eavesdropping" or wiretapping, etc. Could be an invaluable tool for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you KayC and Maylissa, once again - good advice

I have today formalised my concerns in writing to my vet, looked into the RCVS website about what consitutes negligence malpractice etc and at least feel that I havn't blown this out of all proprtion .... it is right to fight the untouchable.

KayC, your story is terrible and I feel so deeply sad for you and your beloved husband - did you manage to get any kind of apology or compensation or was there not enogh to build a case?

I hate any kind of injustice....it drives me crazy - but when lives are lost it just disgusts me.

Thank you for your support I will be taking along my mum as she loved my special boy too - thank Maylissa for the practical advice about recording the meeting too, nothing to lose.

I am still scared but I know I will always regret this if I don't pursue it - no more regrets, i need to know I did everything I could even if she isn't held accoutable. I will carry in reading the link malissa, they are extremely informative, although quite difficult when the emotion is factored in ... I get so angry.

Thank you both for taking an interest, your support really helps

I will keep you updated

Best wishes

Angie Maria

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maylissa, my dear, I am following this thread, and of course I've read all your responses to Angie. I just want to add my voice to hers and thank you publicly for the sound advice you've given her. You don't come back here often, but when you do, you always make a significant difference with your experience and wisdom. From my heart to yours, thank you.

Angie, your special boy is adorable, and I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing that terrific photo of him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Angie,

OMG, what a BEAUTIFUL cat! And I can see how cuddly he was, that is how my Chappy was. I hope you find some much needed comfort.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you all.... KayC, MartyT and Maylissa - you've given me strength to do this

Tomorrow I am expecting the vets response to my list of concerns - I don't know why I am so scared , I just know its going to be painful all over again I suppose , but it has to be done, no question

Yes he was astonishingly beautiful .... and so was his nature, a little gem, he made my life so special I hope I did the same for him. I will go on and fight for the protection and welfare of animals because they can't do it for themselves, never has this been more important than now !

The memories are so precious - I was very lucky. To have shared such pure love with anyone,.... animal or human is life-changing.... soul changing - we all know how lucky and blessed we have been....

Thanks all

Angie Maria

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aahhh, Angie, so much of what you've shared resonates with me, too. It's just "too" hard when we lose the physicality of such deep, meaningful, and as you said, "pure" love and relationship with a loved one. We may "carry on," with the pain diminishing to a manageable level after some time, but that empty, "lost limb" feeling also remains in our hearts always, when our love has been that deep, rich and fulfilling. We are forever changed, to be sure.

And yes indeed, your furboy is one gorgeous chap! Thank you so much for sharing with us this picture of the two of you so clearly loving each other.

I truly believe that what you're so courageously tackling on behalf of your boy will form a vital and integral part of both his legacy to you, and of your healing process, and you're to be hugely congratulated for taking on this mental/emotional/spiritual challenge. Many people could not, or would not, face their fears as you're so bravely doing, so I send you cyber-hugs, pats, strokes and purrs of encouragement for this undertaking. More importantly, I think your boy's eternal heart and soul must be simply overflowing with intense gratitude for you honouring his life and closer-than-close bond with you to this degree. :wub: You can be as scared or nervous as you like, but if you "do it anyway," you have every right to also be immensely proud of yourself, even if you break down in the midst of it. (so what?...just proves you have real heart!) And I'm sure your own soul will grow brighter because of it, too. Even in the bigger picture, you are doing a great service to ALL animals and their respective parents, those poor souls who don't have any family to fight for their rights as important beings, as well as to the collective consciousness of this planet, pushing for the justness, respect and compassion we still sorely need much more of. (I'm sure you can see I also share in your strong sense of justice)

As well, kudos to your mother for joining and supporting you during this trying task. What a dear. ^_^

So I wish you every ounce of strength and clarity you can muster, and please do let us know how it all goes. (pack some tissues as well, okay?)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I will be thinking of you tomorrow and wish you well. I had the opposite thing happen with my cat George eight years ago...I had a vet misdiagnose him. They way overcharged, it was an animal hospital, and they were all about the money. They kept him back there quite a while but apparently didn't waste their time examining him. After a month of him being in excruciating pain and suffering, my own vet said he had cancer, and I had him put to sleep. I never would have put him through all his misery had I known! I was so upset! This cat really suffered, and I would not have put him through it had I not thought he'd get well. When I contacted the animal hospital, they never even acted sorry. They disgust me and I'll tell everyone I know not to take their animals there! My poor little George did not deserve that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi KayC

Oh that is just terrible - poor George, poor you. Its so awful, they are the professionals - we are at their mercy and so our our loved ones, I think they get complacent, they think of the money, and maybe they experience compassion fatigue - I don't know but there is clearly something a miss when their oath is do no harm !! to leave an animal in pain in unforgivable. I am so sorry for you and George. Its a hard lesson to learn for us all and not one we as owners shoul be carrying guilt for - but such is the human psyche that I will always feel I shoul have done something more .... shouted, ranted, raved, demanded - but I totally trusted her - because that is what we believe to be the right thing to do......what else can we do. I don't believe they are wantantly negligent but I do believe they 'take their eye off the ball' its not just another job , its life and death and they need to be reminded of that frequently - I dont think the are regulated enough !!!

I have heard nothing yet in response to my letter - I imagine she is shocked that I have logically put for such a knowledgable and reasoned argument, I hope she feels ashamed and is ready to explain why she let me and my Roary (my little boys name) down so utterly !!!

Thanks for thinking of me - it gives me strength , I will have another sleepless night worrying but every moment will be worth it - its a fight I will not give up

Best wishes to you

Angie Maria

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Maylissa,

I'm still waiting the reply from the vet to my letter and when I will be able to get answers from her, answers that are not the type she has treid to give me in the past, thinking I am a lay person - and I will not understand the technical issues. She doesn't quite realise that I have a PhD in Physhology with Biology, I know how to read journal articles, critique and review information - I haven't just got quak info off the internet, which I get the impression she thinks I have. Anyway nobody needs a PhD to read a diagnosis and know this has not been acted on .... and more so that infomation has been blatantly witheld - for whatever reason ..... the choice was not hers to make !!! An informed decision was my right and responsibilty for Roary - she took that away from me.

I suspect justice for me and my Roary won't be in any disciplinary manner dished out to my vet, justice for me , as hard as its going to be will be to know I couldn't have done anything more given the infomation this vet chose to, or too not reveal to me. Justice for my Roary will be that he was loved beyond belief and i never stopped fighting for him..... to this very day ..... and far beyond. He lives on in my heart, and deep in my soul.

Thanks for your lovely and great support, you have all been so wonderful, practical, and insightful in this time of enormous stress,

Thank you so much for caring about Roary ....

Best wishes

Angie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

sorry about the typos all... it would be unusal of I had a doctorate in a subject that doesn't exist !!! It should read 'Psychology' .

I get worked up when I write about the whole thing - get angry and make spelling mistakes as I type frantically to express myself, sorry

I will have to control my emotions in the meeting or else it will be a shambles and of no help to anyone!!

Angie Maria x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I knew what you meant. :) Still haven't heard back? Wow!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I sent you a private message via this page and I hope you get it. I included my email address in the event you want to talk in depth since I have had negative euthanasia experiences. And believed I was being pushed into doing something because the vet didn't want to be bothered to save my girls lives.

Sincerely,

Stephanie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Angie,


As you said to KayC, yes, we're "at their mercy," and that's what's so shameful about it all. Where are their veterinary medical ethics, or honouring their professional oaths? You got me curious to look these up, though, and it seems they vary considerably between countries, and apparently don't normally include the "first, do no harm" bit; apparently not actually a part of the original Hypocratic Oath (although most of us erroneously think it is!). But in the UK, more, not less, emphasis is actually put on animal welfare, over human/public welfare. So this vet has clearly not lived up to that mandate, nor have many others, considering all the signers on that UK petition. :angry2:

See here for more:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1524840/

Global veterinary oaths:

http://www.wsava.org/sites/default/files/Global%20Veterinary%20Oaths.pdf

As you also said, "to leave an animal in pain in unforgivable," and I wholly agree! Yet it's also the undeniable truth that many vets are actually the direct cause of pain. Just think of all those who willfully perform declawing (onychectomy; actual toe bones amputated), tail and ear cropping (sometimes not even with any anesthetic!), devocalization (ventriculocordectomy), or other such unnecessary bodily mutilations that can commonly cause animals lifelong pain and complications. And this isn't even including the "wanton" and outright abuse of animals that also commonly takes place in some vet clinics. But the ones who knowingly agree to provide such medical torture for money have obviously become just as desensitized as the rest of society, toward both nonhumans and humans alike. It's a pandemic, societal sickness, really, that we battle against.

So very sadly, it's because of all these instances (including in the human medical system) that we end up learning to shout, rant, rave, demand, insist upon rightful care of those we love, and become as educated and involved as we possibly can about whatever we must. After hearing countless stories through the years -- from neighbours, others on animal-related forums, friends, animal rescue people, notibly from an experienced vet tech who was fired for speaking up after witnessing egregious, ongoing abuse by vets behind closed doors, and of course from my own experiences too -- I've since decided I would insist on always being with any animal of mine, and never leave them alone in any clinic for any procedure, even staying as close as possible during any surgery, and too bad if no one likes it! Whatever it takes to protect them and their best interests. Unfortunately, that seems to be what is demanded of us nowadays, once we've discovered these atrocities really do exist. The sheer incompetence and lack of compassion out there in the veterinary field, is truly unconscionable, and the number of bad vets, I suspect, now outweighs the number of good ones. (at least, that's how it seems to be where I live)

But at least now, we have social networking sites as well, from which to get the word out and warn others away from bad vets and clinics. That wasn't the case when my own boy suffered what he did, and at more than one clinic, it turned out. :( So I understand the resulting pain and guilty feelings induced within us, for our "not knowing," or our own perceived negligence. Even today, I must continually practice self-forgiveness and keep repeating to myself that I just didn't know what I didn't know at the time, even if my ignorance aided in my beloved's suffering.

Yet I'm hopeful that your own expertise and knowledge to date will have some good effect and get you what you need. You're right of course -- this vet did take your "informed decision" and "responsibility" of choice for your precious Roary away from you by withholding results, and not properly acting upon them. And you have every right to your justifiable anger, and all the other feelings that go along with such a major loss. I'm in an 'evolution' of sorts here myself of late, and am currently being guided to teach and inspire others (as well as myself) to really accept and use anger as the tool it's meant to be, imo. So I'll share an inspirational quote I'd just (serendipitously) dragged out for my own personal use, in hopes it will benefit you, too:

"Often anger is a sign of engagement with life. People who are angry are touched deeply by the events of thier lives and feel strongly about them....Anger is just a demand for change, a passionate wish for things to be different..." ~ from Kitchen Table Wisdom

I'd give that vet about 3 days to answer your letter, then I'd call to repeat your request for a meeting if you've heard nothing back yet. Often we have to be a really squeaky wheel, particularly if it concerns something uncomfortable for the other party. And if she keeps trying to ignore you, that's just more fuel for the fire that you could possibly report her for, I'd imagine.

I, too, would love to see some kind of justice served for both Roary and you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Maylissa, Hi all

My vet has been in touch and I missed her call to arrange the meeting before I could get back to her he has sent me a very long email in response to my letter - with the caveat I can still go along and see her if the information she has sent is not adequate.

She has apologised if she guided me wrongly .... she truly believed what she was doing was in Roarys best interests. Tbh it is a very sincere letter, she seemed shocked and upset at my questions but has gone in to great technical detail about a number of issues - she has corrected me saying I am not remembering things she did and did't say - however I checked my facts with my mum before I sent the questions (she was with at all but one appt)and we were in agreement as to what we were and were not told. I have a very good memory where Roary is concerned particularly as I write the information down after each vet visit and keep all tablet boxes, dates etc.

Anyway the facts remain the same in essence - I was not told of a diagnosis of a a condition if left untrated was fatal ...... and a condition that explains all the symptoms he was showing at that - and not until 9 months after Roarys death and in fact she didn't tell me (unforgivable I think) I had to go direct and ask for the correspondence between the University vet hospital and her. She never volunteered the info. So ultimately I wasn't able to make timely informed choices for my boy, and the vet didn't offer treatment in relation to this condition when she could have.

Sorry to repeat myself - I will sit down and go through the vets email detail again and then make an appointment to ask the same question - why didn't you treat when you could of, why didn't you tell me????!!!!

Hey Maylissa you should be a teacher of an area allied to these concerns, you are very insightful and give excellent considered arguments - don't let that go go waste - we need you

Thank everyone for helping me and Roary to get through this

Best wishes all

Angie M

xxx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Angie,

I would feel the same way as you and whatever she told you in her email does not address that one question, why were you not told and given the option to treat? That one answer would be the one I'd want to hear.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi everyone,

I spoke with the vet. It was dificult. She stands by all that did but she does feels she has let me down in not tieing symptons together in the early stage of his illness, to come up with cholangitis (even though if she had been told of the diagnosis by the University Vet hospital 2.5 months before and it had flagged up for a re-referral should he start to show symptoms). I tried to understand this but I still feel uncomfortable, even though I know there was no intention to misleed or mis guide me.

So yeas , she feels she did fail me, but did not fail Roary. She said given that he had multiple problems, she considered these to be significant in the fast progression of his deterioration of his liver, that he would not have been able to survive even if we had started treating him for cholangitis, and the standard sterioids would have compromised his other issues, and may have even hastened his decline - I do understand that she didn't want him to become more ill simply trying treatments for a condition that was unlikely to resolve given the stage it was at. IF ONLY SHE HAD TOLD ME ALL THIS AT THE TIME !!!! She is a good vet, sincere, and has been truly shaken up by this. She realises she has caused me enoromous distress by not communicating the diagnosis to me, (it clearly never clicked though) but asked me to understand she was concerned with the bigger picture, Roarys long -term welfare.

While I will have to try and accept some of what she is saying - as a vet with all her experience, who I do now believe was acting in Roarys best interests, i have made it clear that I should have been given all the information - even if it was hopless for him - so I didn't suffer months of anguish and guilt trying to put together a puzzle that was never going to work without this one crucial element missing !!!

I am not sure what I do now, but I think I have to choose to draw a line under it sometime soon

I am now ready to start grieving/celebrating Roarys life in the manner he deserves and stop punishing myself for something that was out of my control.

And most importantly remebering my special Roary, what a good life he had and how his legacy should be one of love and remebering his dignity, sweet gentle nature, and the sort of deep love and trust that maybe only comes along once in a lifetime - he gave that to me and I hope he felt it back. I miss him so much.

Angie Marie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is precisely what I hope for you, dear Angie ~ that you can focus now on healing your broken heart, because I truly do believe that this is what your beloved Roary would want for you. You've done everything you possibly could do for him, and I think he knows that.

I'm so sorry this happened to both of you ~ and I wish you all the peace and healing you deserve.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Angie Marie,

That is essential, that you reach acceptance, not that you like or necessarily even agree with all that transpired, but that you can begin to heal from it as I believe your Roary would want for you. At least now you know that his death could not have been averted and in letting him go it was making the choice not to cause him needless and undue suffering.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...