sharirouse Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 Hi guys, Im new here so bare with me please as I learn my way around this site. But anywho, my dad passed away two weeks ago and Ive been through all the emotions and guilt is overpowering everything. To be perfectly honest, I feel like I failed my dad. My dad had stage 4 colon cancer but died from septic shock due to his liver failing. I never realized how sick he was and he never told me. Since we found out in stages how bad he was doing, I was able to apologize and really tell my dad how much I loved him and I have apologized but in a general sense and he told me there was nothing to be sorry about but as the days go on, I feel like I wasnt there enough. Im 20 and in my third year of college so yes, I couldnt always be there and he understood that because he was so proud that I was in school but that doesnt justify it for me. My parents divorced when I was 9 but separated since i was 7 and all i can see in my mind is my dad sitting at home alone. My parents became friends and she helped take care of him but sometimes she would think he was annoying so if we saw him at the store she would wait till he walked by because she didnt want to talk. Well, that breaks my heart looking back at it. I didnt mind talking to my dad but I understand why she didnt want to but i cannot get it out of my mind. He deserved so much more! How dare I?! And lastly, I have an older brother who is 47 (my dad was 70) and he recently came back into my dads life and for time purposes, no one trusted him. No one, my father included. Well we got into an argument a few days after my dad passed and I feel like my dad was given piece of sh!t kids and I feel so bad. I feel like I should have loved him more and when I say that, i dont mean I didnt love him because I do so much but he deserved more. I apologize for the novel but I cant escape my mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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