MartyT Posted January 22, 2015 Report Share Posted January 22, 2015 Hi Anthony. I think you are wise to listen to your own good judgment. You've worked very hard to get where you are today. As you have said in your post: I keep reminding myself that she hurt me bad, whether she realized it or not. I know that if I were friends with her, there would always be a part of me that would be bitter. Plus, I also think it would hinder my healing progress. I've come a long way since that emotional day and would hate to regress. I also think you were wise not to respond to her last text. As you say, you don't know what "I really hope we can be friends" means in her mind. It seems to me as if she was just feeling relieved that you didn't seem to be holding against her the way that she has been treating you, and she was just being polite in her response. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 22, 2015 Report Share Posted January 22, 2015 I agree with Marty. Besides, it helps to be totally over a person before trying a different relationship of "friends only". Most people can't handle that...as long as one person is still wishing for more, it wouldn't work and of course we can't make or manipulate the other person into being/doing what we want, but you already realize that. I think the fact that you are putting yourself and your own healing first and foremost in your thinking is very healthy. A lot of people mean different things when they say "friends"...some want someone to say hi to, some want someone to do things with, some want someone to share from their heart with, some want someone to be there for them should they need anything...to all of us it means something different, so it's hard telling what she meant by that. I wouldn't over-analyze it, just let it go. If the time ever comes for that, you'll both realize it, but for now it's good to leave things on friendly terms somewhat and keep it to just that. I'm so glad you're not feeling the missing her as that can be painful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony9528 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2015 HI there, I hope everyone is doing well. Of course, today is Valentine's day, and I'm sure for most of us here, not our favorite holiday. LOL I've been moving along, doing my thing, focused on my goals, and always looking to add new ones. Trying to stay positive even when the negatives sneak attack me. Although, today, out of all days, I really need some advice!! I sense trouble on the horizion and I need your input. So my ex... Since the initial meeting we had a few weeks ago in my last post, I've seen her a few times in the gym. She has come up to talk to me, has told me I looked good, etc.... I never really made a big deal about it and just stayed polite b/c I really didn't want any drama in the gym since that is like my second home. Well, today was different... and granted, I feel I am to blame for starting it.... She was there this morning.... I waved hi and kept going on about my business.... Later on I stopped over to talk to her. I could have avoided doing so but I figured it wouldn't be a big deal. We had some some chit chat and a couple of laughs... But then she asked me if we would ever be able to hang out again and that she missed me. I told her I missed her too b/c, let's be honest, I still do. She texts me later to tell me she really hopes we can be friends and hang out. I told her that would be kinda hard for me b/c I'm still not really over her. She said that she still has feelings for me too.... Which, I'm thinking to myself, ok whatever, that's why you are online dating.... I said well rather than having a text convo I would be happy to get together and talk if she wanted to. She agreed and we will get together after work one day this week. So now, here I am, I'm going to see her face to face and I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing. I'm different now... But the fact is I also still miss her deeply. What do I do? How do I remain strong when the gravity of this is pulling on me so hard. I am hoping we have an open and honest conversation but I also don't want to put too much of myself out there. I can't say right now what I'm hoping to gain from this, if anything. All's I know is I'm scared. What do I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 15, 2015 Report Share Posted February 15, 2015 If you aren't feeling good about it, it's not too late to cancel. Whatever you do, do what is best for YOU because YOU are what matters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dannyeley Posted March 13, 2015 Report Share Posted March 13, 2015 Any update on what you did? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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