Having A Bad Day

[Smb]

I know it's still only been a few days since I lost my heart. I was actually kinda of having a good day, but I feed the other dog and lost it when I saw her bowls. She would always start dog talking if you weren't moving fast enough with her food . I just missed that and broke down. I still talk to her like she's still there and constantly still look around for her hoping this was just one big nightmare.

[kayc]

It's okay to talk to her, she is still there, she's just in spirit form now. I truly believe with all my heart that we'll be reunited one day and you'll find you still need to get a move on when you feed her. Of course you miss her, one look at her and I can see why. Big hugs!

[Smb]

KayC. Your words are so kind and you have made get through these past couple of days. Which have been the worst. It's nice to find such a kind person and someone that listens. Your words have meant a lot. I thank you so much.

[kayc]

I've been there...and will be again. My dog is seven, but he's huge, big dogs don't usually last past ten years. That's one reason I have him on a diet, I don't want to miss a year or two that we could have together. I lost my granddoggy, Skye, 09/02/13, I was very close to him, he loved his grandma, and lived with me off and on throughout his life. He died way too soon, he had special problems. But his short life was rich. We think he was about nine when he died, but we didn't get him until he was about three.

Your dog is beautiful. Have you a framed picture on the wall? My sister lost her dog a few years ago and elected not to get another one, but she has a picture of her Polly leaping through the air, and it's framed and on the wall, it brings her much pleasure to look at it and remember how special she was, how happy she looked. This is the down side of giving our heart to a furry creature...I am totally in love with my dog, I can only imagine how devastating it will be when his time comes to go. I've lost many dogs, but this is the one I'm the very closest to. Although the family dog, Fluffy, that I lost many years ago was really hard hitting. They're each so different and special in their own way.

[LadyCarrie]

Dear Smb,

I'm truly sorry for your loss, and that you are hurting so badly. My heart goes out to you, and in sending you hugs and squeezes.

Seeing water/food bowls, toys, hairs---that seem to show up regardless of how many times the floor and furniture are vacuumed/mopped/cleaned---causes sudden surges af adrenalin to shoot through our body, and we are racked with spasms of grief. Then we cry until we can't cry any longer for a while. I am judging on my own feelings and reactions, and am wondering whether you are feeling something similar.

Our little Ashely, a little eight and one-half pound Black and Tan Doxie, age fourteen, died 10 October 2014 due to kidney disease after much suffering from severe vomiting, and from treatments at the vets' offices. We are still grieving for her. As my husband, Jerry, and I were reading one evening recently, just before bedtime, he thought he heard Ashely shake her head in the next room (flap her ears in a good body shake). I saw him lean forward to look for her. Then he remembered that she is gone. I saw his face crumple. He told me, "It was so real." I knew and understood, because I think I hear her at times also.

I say these things to you to let you know that you are understood, and that we care that your heart is broken. Because we lost another Doxie, Catey Elizabeth, on 4 July 2000, and we got through that awful grief somehow, we have hope of getting through our profound grief for Ashely (we must, though it seems impossible right now). We put Ashely's ashes next to Catey's on a bookcase that we see throughout the day, and this makes us feel like Catey and Ashely are together, which is comforting to us.

When I saw your first post, I hurt so badly (for you and for me) that I couldn't respond to you right away as I wanted to. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I was so glad to see that Kay did what I was not able to do for a while. I did stop to ask God to help you, to hold you, and to uplift you, but I could not write right away. I will do better. I won't let that happen again, for we are here to help each other.

Blessings and hugs,

Carrie

[kayc]

Carrie,

Don't ever feel bad for not being able to respond right away, you are going through a lot and when you're not as far out or your grief is fresh and raw, sometimes it's hard to write to someone else. I've been here nearly ten years so I'm more accustomed to dealing with grief, even though I still have some that feels rather fresh. There'll always be someone who will respond, usually within a few hours.

[LadyCarrie]

Kay,

Thank you for your kind words to me, and to so many others. I think you've answered your calling, at least one very important one.

I cannot help but wonder how I could/can ever get through a WORSE hurt than that of Ashely's death. I know you understand what I mean (Could I survive? Would I want to? I need some "How to's).

I learned Christmas week that my sister, who lives in Gulf Breeze, FL, has spinal cancer. She just learned. Cheez!

I am being helped, and I want to help others. Most of the time I'm all right; other times, I get my nose stuck in my belly button. So many others have greater reasons than I for hurting. Remembering this usually snaps me out of self-pity, and I'm strong again (well, perhaps the word "strong" is a bit too strong).

Blessings,

Carrie

[kayc]

Carrie,

I am so sorry about your sister's news. Is she undergoing any treatment? Do you know her prognosis, or is it too soon yet?

We can't compare losses, to each of us,what we are going through is significant.

Yes, we survive the loss, even when we can't see how we possibly can. We learn, we grow, we develop coping abilities, all with the help of Marty and fellow posters here...taking one day at a time, trying not to look at the whole "rest of our lives" (it's too overwhelming and can bog us down). What I have learned as a result of my grief journey is rich...of course, I'd have George back in a heartbeat if I could, but I can't, so instead I focus on other positives. You learn to look for positives, and that helps you through one more day. It's all about our focus. This site is so rich with helps, things to read, meditation helps, friends helping friends to get through this journey.