Guest Janka Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 "Love is not a sort of thing to change after meeting obstacles or surrender hardly feeling a change.It is a lighthouse facing the storms as an unwavering guard.It is not a flower getting dry to come to an end of life,because will be growing in every place the water is not found,where is the sunshine not to be able fooling a melancholy grief." William Shakespeare Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Janka Posted January 16, 2018 Report Share Posted January 16, 2018 On 13.1.2018 at 12:41 PM, Janka said: "Love is not a sort of thing to change after meeting obstacles or surrender hardly feeling a change.It is a lighthouse facing the storms as an unwavering guard.It is not a flower getting dry to come to an end of life,because will be growing in every place the water is not found,where is the sunshine not to be able fooling a melancholy grief." William Shakespeare https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-6J-1V6_Og God is great...he will never leave our loved ones...we just have to believe in him... With love Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kevin53 Posted January 16, 2018 Report Share Posted January 16, 2018 So true. Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Janka Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 On 13.1.2018 at 12:41 PM, Janka said: "Love is not a sort of thing to change after meeting obstacles or surrender hardly feeling a change.It is a lighthouse facing the storms as an unwavering guard.It is not a flower getting dry to come to an end of life,because will be growing in every place the water is not found,where is the sunshine not to be able fooling a melancholy grief." William Shakespeare My suffering just reached the bottom tonight.I´m just fighting to do not lose a common sense and praying to get through these hardest paths I´ve been walking on lately.However everything will be good,because God loves me and he will give me what I deserve. Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 Dear Janka, I'm sorry that you are going through so much pain. Hope your faith and your love for God and your Jan will hold you through this difficult time. We can all relate, grief works likes waves and tides. Peace. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 Dear Janka, I too feel badly that today, last night, is such a struggle. You have such strength in your beliefs and your compassion for others. I hope you find some peace soon. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomPB Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 Janka let me add my best wishes. I understand. I regularly go from an OK period to the most intense grief attack. The change can be triggered by a reminder of Susan's sweetness or by apparently nothing. My grief counselor tells me to ride the wave. Not sure I know how but it does help to know it has passed before...hope yours does ❤️🐼 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 21, 2018 Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 On 1/17/2018 at 3:44 PM, TomPB said: My grief counselor tells me to ride the wave. Not sure I know how but it does help to know it has passed before By not fighting it. Feel it, experience it, let it come...and go. Up and down, it tosses us around like the wind, but if we ride the waves, we are not drowned, we continue through it and with it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janka Posted February 15, 2018 Report Share Posted February 15, 2018 Happy heavenly Valentine´s day,my beloved Jan! I always kiss you from the heart,my endless love, you know how much I love you,also stars above; so you will always be the best of my whole life, in heaven we may go on as husband and wife. With everlasting love Janka 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookie Posted February 17, 2018 Report Share Posted February 17, 2018 On 01/17/2018 at 6:44 PM, TomPB said: Janka let me add my best wishes. I understand. I regularly go from an OK period to the most intense grief attack. The change can be triggered by a reminder of Susan's sweetness or by apparently nothing. My grief counselor tells me to ride the wave. Not sure I know how but it does help to know it has passed before...hope yours does ❤️🐼 TomPB: I also go from okay to intense grief still. It can be discouraging. I related to you saying you didn't know how to ride the wave. Not sure I understand either. These feelings seem to come of their own accord and leave the same way. Sometimes it makes me crazy...no control over it and tired of it also.....Cookie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookie Posted February 17, 2018 Report Share Posted February 17, 2018 Janka: So sorry...just now read your post. It's so hard sometimes. I also feel like I can't stand another minute of sorrow and pain, then magically it lifts some, but sometimes I'm not looking forward to the future because it seems like it will be filled with this up and down.....take care, Cookie 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janka Posted February 18, 2018 Report Share Posted February 18, 2018 For my beloved Jan...the love of my life...my everything... I´ll always love you...forever and ever...for eternity... Forever, yours, Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 I appreciate all the beautiful things you post. Your tribute to your beloved Jan is very endearing. Wishing you all the best. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janka Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 Today was the day when every woman should get a bunch of flowers,the 8th of March,as it had been in the past. I spent this day in my favourite pizzeria with one of my best friends and then I went to church.It was a nice day.We had a great time for a while and I also found a peace of mind then. In the evening I went by tram home and my face lost a smile,looking at the other women walking down the streets hand in hand with their men,holding flowers and smiling all along.However still it was ok and I kept it up on my way home. Now it´s 5 a.m. and listening to the song "Till the end of time" singing by Mariah Carey put the tears in my eyes and I burst in tears at last... This song is so beautiful and very true...I can´t stop the pain in my heart that will never go away... My beloved Jan,I feel your presence now and it´s as much real as nothing else around... Come and take my hand and we´ll never be alone anymore... ...endlessly......my love......your Janka... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookie Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 Janka: My heart goes out to you.....I know, no matter how much time goes by or how "nice" a time you can have (and I have had some nice times), there is still that hollow crater in my heart and soul that really hurts. Nothing can seem to alleviate this particular pain.....hopefully some day. I also have that sadness seeing couples together. I don't at all begrudge them the happiness; just want it back for me. Hugs to you....Cookie 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookie Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 On 01/16/2018 at 11:03 PM, Guest Janka said: My suffering just reached the bottom tonight.I´m just fighting to do not lose a common sense and praying to get through these hardest paths I´ve been walking on lately.However everything will be good,because God loves me and he will give me what I deserve. Janka And you deserve everything that is wonderful.....Cookie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janka Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 54 minutes ago, Cookie said: And you deserve everything that is wonderful.....Cookie My dear Cookie, reading your reply to my post made me speechless for a moment,so beautiful it was of you and to be honest,it put the tears into my eyes after.Your responses have always made me feel better.You´re such a kind person and I´m thankful for you and the other ones in here who reached out this way to me. God bless you... PS:I hope this may put a smile on your face... With love Janka 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookie Posted March 10, 2018 Report Share Posted March 10, 2018 Janka: Love the little dancing heart.....I think you are also a very kind, loving person, as are all the people on this site....may all this love we put out there surround and support us....love to you, Cookie 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janka Posted March 14, 2018 Report Share Posted March 14, 2018 On 9.3.2018 at 4:24 AM, Widowedbysuicide said: I appreciate all the beautiful things you post. Your tribute to your beloved Jan is very endearing. Wishing you all the best. Dear Marita! Thanks for your kind words!Well,I can´t believe,it´s already been so long since my beloved man died.The more time passes by,all the more I miss him and think of all the suffering I´ve been going through,wondering how I could survive that all.I also read your post as well as the others and am so sorry about your loss too!I´ve posted so much on here since I came on this site that sometimes I feel how I´m getting speechless and there are no more words to say.All is on this thread of mine "The loss of my beloved man" that I started a few years ago as well as the other threads describing what I´ve been going through so far,including the music and my poems that I still write for my beloved Jan anyway.I´ve put here a part of me myself and my deepest feelings for himself that may last forever.That´s why I´m here and coming back again and again,reading and writing with every breath that I take... PS1:I put this video.It´s the last place that me and my beloved Jan were looking forward to,island of Capri.I still dream of going there one day.I know that he will be happy.Watching this always makes my heart cry,because we were the happiest when we planned this trip and then my most beloved one died... P.di Capri-Capri.mp4 PS2:Today in the church my eyes filled with tears again...the priest was talking about family...however I have no family anymore...it always hurts... Hugs from Janka 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted March 15, 2018 Report Share Posted March 15, 2018 Janka, I can see why the video can make you cry. It's very beautiful. I do hope that all our loved are happy where they are. Thinking they are good makes losing them a lot less harsh. Take care of yourself. Again thank you for your beautiful words and pictures. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomPB Posted March 15, 2018 Report Share Posted March 15, 2018 Janka, totally relate. We didn't get to Capri but had wonderful visits to Corsica and Crete, as well as our many Caribbean trips. On Corsica the young Susan danced in a production at the resort, dressed in a white ballet outfit on a beautiful night. It was magic and of course has me crying now. They tell me I'll be able to enjoy those memories some day without being grabbed first by the pain of the loss but I'm not there yet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janka Posted March 15, 2018 Report Share Posted March 15, 2018 2 hours ago, TomPB said: Janka, totally relate. We didn't get to Capri but had wonderful visits to Corsica and Crete, as well as our many Caribbean trips. On Corsica the young Susan danced in a production at the resort, dressed in a white ballet outfit on a beautiful night. It was magic and of course has me crying now. They tell me I'll be able to enjoy those memories some day without being grabbed first by the pain of the loss but I'm not there yet Dear Tom! What a lovely picture!It reminds me my plush toys sitting on my bed.Most of them were bought by my beloved Jan.I´ve got more than 70 by now.They´re like my family when I´m alone in the flat.Most of them were touched and kissed by my beloved Jan as he knew how much I adore them.I still talk to them most of the time,especially to my cutest rat who is always with me wherever I go as well as he always used to be being with my beloved Jan too.He was our darling and still he is as he will always be.I´ve been thinking about what I´d love to have beside me when I´ll die one day;it should be 3 most important things related to my beloved Jan:the photo of him,my mobile with many messages from him inside and my little rat Pepko on my chest as well as you can see on my profile photo.That´s what I´d want to be in peace... As for our trips we made,we also used to travel every year.I even posted many pictures from Croatia on this site.I´m gonna find it to show you them.One of those places,we used to visit,was Crete too.We put up at the hotel situated in Agia Pelagia,directly on the rock with amazing sea view all around.Here are some of those pictures.It was like a dream with him... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookie Posted March 15, 2018 Report Share Posted March 15, 2018 13 minutes ago, Janka said: Dear Tom! What a lovely picture!It reminds me my plush toys sitting on my bed.Most of them were bought by my beloved Jan.I´ve got more than 70 by now.They´re like my family when I´m alone in the flat.Most of them were touched and kissed by my beloved Jan as he knew how much I adore them.I still talk to them most of the time,especially to my cutest rat who is always with me wherever I go as well as he always used to be being with my beloved Jan too.He was our darling and still he is as he will always be.I´ve been thinking about what I´d love to have beside me when I´ll die one day;it should be 3 most important things related to my beloved Jan:the photo of him,my mobile with many messages from him inside and my little rat Pepko on my chest as well as you can see on my profile photo.That´s what I´d want to be in peace... As for our trips we made,we also used to travel every year.I even posted many pictures from Croatia on this site.I´m gonna find it to show you them.One of those places,we used to visit,was Crete too.We put up at the hotel situated in Agia Pelagia,directly on the rock with amazing sea view all around.Here are some of those pictures.It was like a dream with him... Oh, how beautiful....would love to go there; of course, having John with me would make it really wonderful....Cookie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janka Posted March 15, 2018 Report Share Posted March 15, 2018 3 hours ago, TomPB said: Janka, totally relate. We didn't get to Capri but had wonderful visits to Corsica and Crete, as well as our many Caribbean trips. On Corsica the young Susan danced in a production at the resort, dressed in a white ballet outfit on a beautiful night. It was magic and of course has me crying now. They tell me I'll be able to enjoy those memories some day without being grabbed first by the pain of the loss but I'm not there yet Those pics from Croatia,I mentioned above,are on this thread of mine too.You can find them on the page 2. Hugs from Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomPB Posted March 15, 2018 Report Share Posted March 15, 2018 Janka, those are beautiful. Was gonna send you a Crete photo but they seem to be messed up will try my other computer. The panda is the sad panda, expressing how I feel about losing my other half. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now