My Angel Tammy

[mittam99]

Hi, My name is Mitch and I lost my beloved wife Tamara Jean (Tammy) on March 6, 2015. On that day I lost my wife, my soulmate and my best friend, She was only 45 years old. She lived with the ravages of Systemic Lupus. for 24+ years. She fought and won medical battles that left the doctors calling her a medical marvel. She was the most amazing woman I've ever known. I am lost. I am devastated. I'm just going through the motions right now.

I'm posting the eulogy I gave at her services (I edited some personal details) to give you an idea of of our life, our love and the kind of incredible woman she was.

“You came into my life with the voice of an angel,

I knew then and there we could never be strangers.

You’ve given me hope, pleasure and love,

I know you were sent from heaven above.”

Those words were part of a longer poem I wrote to Tammy nearly 15 years ago.

Tammy and I met on the net and started talking on the phone in 1999. And talk we did. It wasn’t unusual for our talks to start in the evening and end in the wee morning hours.

The time came for us to finally meet in person. I know I was nervous. I was at the airport in Baltimore and strategically placed myself behind a pillar.

I figured if I didn’t like what I saw, I could make a fast getaway! Well, Tammy’s plane arrived and I spotted her. And you know what? She looked great.

The closer she got the better she looked. I popped out from behind my hiding place and greeted Tammy. She seemed pretty happy with me, too.

We held hands and then sat down for a bit. Tammy’s hands were so soft. That’s the first thing I noticed. I looked into her eyes and told her I really loved her.

That first time with her was amazing. We went to Caesar’s in Atlantic City and Baltimore’s Inner Harbor. We spent some time at my house where she fell in love with my homemade jumbo lump crabcakes. Taking her back to the airport wasn’t easy. I found myself sitting in my car, tears in my eyes after escorting her to the gate.

I was head over heels for Tammy. I couldn’t get her out of my head. That night, I called and talked to her Grandma Boyd about the amazing Tammy Jean. Months later, I was back at the airport picking up Tammy again, but this time she was here to stay along with little Katiebug. We figured it would be cheaper than our $600 long distance phone bills!

So began my life with Tammy. And what a wonderful life it was.

Tammy and I just clicked. We had the same sense of humor and it wasn’t always G rated. We loved the old black and white movies and we just had a great time being with each other. She told me I was a great kisser, but the truth was…she was better. She had a job she adored, working as a medical biller. She worked her buns off there, sometimes working 50 hour weeks. She was so good, she was their Employee of the Year. She loved the monthly massages they gave the employees! Oh, how she loved to be rubbed!

And then there’s the purple turtle story. Driving home from work she accidentally ran into a little kid’s plastic pool. It found its way into the road somehow. And somehow it got wedged between her Elantra’s wheel wells.It made quite a racket driving home and pedestrians were gawking in amazement.I mean, how often do you see a 6 foot purple turtle under a Hyundai? So, Tammy gets home and tells me the story. After the laughter stopped, I went outside to see this sight. Sure enough the turtle was stuck. I came up with a plan. I drove her car down a hill, sped in a parking lot with a low curb and ….voila! The thing popped off. I left the pool on the lot and we sped off.

Tammy and I always said we were kids at heart. And that’s the truth. We said we were like two peas in a pod. And we were. Basically we were made for each other and we definitely were good for each other. I loved to make her laugh and what a laugh it was!

Although Tammy had Lupus and Raynaud’s and Sjogren’s, you’d never know it by her attitude. She was always upbeat and positive. She was an incredible patient. Imagine needing to get stuck with a needle 7-10 times just to find a suitable vein. The nurses were amazed that Tammy never complained.

Over the years she had so many serious illnesses and hospital stays. Each time she pulled through. Her will to get better was strong and she fought tough odds all the time. She loved life.

Unfortunately, those illnesses took their toll. She lost the job she loved and each hospital stay seemed to have weakened her. One thing that never changed though was her attitude. She always amazed.

This February, I had to call 911 again. Tammy was rushed to the hospital, sirens blazing. They suspected a possible heart attack. What they found was Tammy had a strong heart. She did have a bad UTI and other tests revealed she had blood clots.

I spent several days and nights with her in the ICU and thankfully she was able to improve to the point she was sent to a rehab facility to improve her strength and balance. I’ve never seen Tammy so determined to get stronger. I loved being with her at therapy and watching her do rep after rep. Between sets I played waterboy and gave sips of her beloved lemon ice water. Everything seemed to be going so well.

She came home last Wednesday night. It was great being able to snuggle in our own bed! Friday started innocently enough. She seemed super tired but that wasn’t unusual. She did seem a little confused and said she was feeling dizzy. Later that afternoon, she was clearly worse. She began having trouble breathing. I frantically called 911. When the EMTs arrived, it was clear things were not good.

At the hospital, I was approached by a nurse and doctor with news that I never wanted to hear…..my sweet Tam Tam was gone.

Tammy was one of a kind. She brought a joyful spirit to everything she did. Tammy always put a smile on your face. She was the strongest person I have ever known. She fought medical battles that could have made her bitter or angry. But she was sweet, loving, and caring. She could have felt sorry for herself, but never did. And she certainly didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for her.

Tammy could have easily made the conversation all about her. Instead, she wanted to know how you were doing, how you were feeling, and she loved to help. She was an inspiration.

Whether we were out on a date, taking a trip to the ocean or just watching TV and cracking each other up with jokes… Tammy and I were so happy, and so in love!

In one day, I lost my wife, my soulmate, my best friend, and the love of my life. I was blessed though. Each day I spent with Tammy was a priceless gift.

She was truly taken from us too soon but we know she’s in heaven with a smile on her face, sharing a Bud Light with her dad. Tamara Jean will never be forgotten!

My heart is broken.

Here's Tammy leaning on my shoulder on her birthday a few years back...

[MartyT]

Such a beautiful tribute to your precious love, Mitch. Thank you so much for sharing Tamara Jane with all of us ~ and know that we share in your sorrow. ♥

[shalady]

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Tammy. She sounds wonderful in your beautiful tribute. You were truly blessed to have her. Your love for each other shines through your words. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Shalady

[enna]

Of course, your heart is broken Mitch. I am so very sorry that your Tammy is no longer at your side in the physical sense. As you said she was your priceless gift. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. We are here for you.

Anne

[feralfae]

Mitch,

I am so sorry you have lost your wonderful Tammy. It is easy to see how much you two loved each other, and thank you for sharing your love story with us. I know that right now you must be numb and feeling lost in so many ways. As best we can, we understand, and we are here for you.

Kind regards,

Feralfae

[annew]

No Mitch, we never forget our loved one and they live on in our hearts always, whispering their love and care...... They are always there, right in our hearts. Thank you for how well you have shared your Angel Tammy with us. You are never alone here and I hope you will share as much and as often as you want. Much love to all of you and yours always.

[kayc]

Mitch,

Your wife is beautiful, what a smile! No wonder you love her! And as for her falling in love with you...who wouldn't fall in love with a guy that makes crab cakes! I appreciate your sharing your story with us, it helps to get to know the two of you. My husband was barely 51 when he died...I think it's always a shock when it comes.

Your eulogy was beautiful, I loved the purple sea turtle story. The business where you left it must have been scratching their heads when they found it!

I responded to your post in the other thread, but I'm glad you started one of your own. It helps when it's nights/weekends and you're alone, to come here and most of the time there'll be somebody along in a short while.