Lost My Heart Dog One Week Ago Today

[Kacy]

Huskies are such beautiful dogs. How old is he? Hard to get them to lose weight sometimes. Allie had put on a few pounds over the winter and I had to start cutting back on her food a little, which didn't make her too happy. Had to start measuring everything.

Yes, when you lose one, then it brings back all the memories of all the other ones you've lost over the years. It's sad.

[kayc]

Arlie is seven, he weighs 132 lbs. My son & I think maybe he has a thyroid problem but the vets don't take it seriously and haven't tested him, I think they assume I feed him too much. He gets the same amount of food as my son's dog that is 50 lbs! And Arlie's food is supposed to help him LOSE weight!

Here's some pictures of my baby:

[Kacy]

He's really a beautiful dog. Looks pretty active, too. I've had a few that were overweight and it was definitely the thyroid. Once they were on meds, the weight dropped off.

Are you feeding a higher protein dog food? Do you feed dry? A lot of them are really high in carbs, which really packs the weight on. My 50 lb dog used to get 1 cup of dry twice a day. Now, I have a 32 lb dog (same breed, English Setter), who eats the same amount, and I have a hard time keeping weight on her. She's very active, but he was also very active.

[LadyCarrie]

Allie and Arlie are beautiful! I love them!

Carrie

[Marj37]

Been reading the interesting conversations here about vets and also about not pushing yourself to heal. I like the upfront posts.

I had an epal write me yesterday that I was dwelling on the negative. That stung. Because she had told me to write whatever I wanted when Gb had to go.

My Gb kitty as only been gone 11 longs days.

Marj & Hamish and missing our Gb

[Kacy]

Thank you, Carrie. Allie was just as beautiful inside as out. I can't even describe her - she was one in a million.

Mary

[Kacy]

Marj,

As we have said on here many times before, most people don't really understand what you go thru when you lose a pet. Even some people who have lost a dog or cat don't understand because their animal just wasn't that important in their lives. With my husband and I, our dogs are very important to us. So, when they leave us, it is hard to deal with. The hurt is always there it seems, just below the surface. With Lucy, our Cavalier, we lost last year, something will trigger a memory and one or the other of us will tear up (and my husband is not one to cry). With Allie, I feel like I just can't totally grasp that she is gone, and it's been over a month. I've decided that I don't care who understands and who doesn't. Allie and I were very, very close and to just go on as if nothing happened would, to me, mean that she didn't mean very much to me.

I am trying to force myself to do things again, even if it's just going thru the motions. I bought some flowers and am going to plant them in a little spot just for Allie and Lucy. Also, found some stone markers online for each of them plus a stepping stone with the saying "Those we have held for a little while in our arms we now hold forever in our hearts". That's my little girls.

It sounds like your kitties are very important part of your life, too, so people should not expect for you to just carry on as if nothing happened. You can always come here where you know people understand.

Mary

[Marj37]

Thanks heaps, Mary. The flowers sound lovely.

I have Gb's picture and pawprint plaque, urn , etc. put in a space in the living room. And I ordered a pendant and chain

of a kitty in a box from an artist in California - he sent it right away and it lays by my heart. And I have some pussy willow branches that rooted so I will plant one of

them as a memorial tree in the yard.

I was just thinking how grateful I am that this group of people is here. A true gift. Not being able to express is a horribly lonely feeling.

Yes, just as your dogs are a part of your family unit, so were my 2 kitties (almost 15)

I don't even tell most people what happened. I don't want any more pain from remarks.

Marj and Hamish missing our Gb

[Marj37]

Yes, Maylissa, we've discussed ADCs here many times. See, for example, these threads:

And these blog posts:

After-Death Communication

After-Death Communication, Continued

After-Death Communication: A List of Resources

I'm glad to see this.

Been reading your posts , Mary. Sad about Allie.

I have to ask my vet AGAIN what her take is on the chest xray of Gb that was done inthe ER facility.

I asked her to call me and nothing happened.

I don't even know if I have enough energy to do that anymore. I just really would like to know

why his xray looked so awful . I understand he would never be able to breathe outside the oxygen cage.

But I'd like to know what all that was in his chest.

[Kacy]

Thank you, Marj. I know what you mean about not having enough energy to question what exactly happened to our babies. Your vet has not responded at all, and my vet did respond, but I felt like it was more in defense of the specialist than anything. I also talked to a holistic vet that I had consulted with by phone about Allie and didn't feel much better after than conversation. I know dogs die of heart disease and know that it probably would have eventually taken Allie's life, but I don't feel it should have happened when it did. I truly feel that no matter what I said happened, they were going to stick together and not say anything to the effect that Allie should have been admitted to the hospital when we took her to ER a few days before she died instead of being sent home or that she should have been on more medication rather than the very low dose she was on.

I did finally get out of the holistic vet that the 5 mg dose that the one specialist prescribed for Allie was way too low. My regular vet defended that dose when I questioned it several months ago, and then I brought it up again when I talked to her about Allie's autopsy - trying to get her to understand that I did not feel Allie's treatment was what it should have been. It's amazing to me because another vet in her OWN office actually prescribed 25 mg a day for Allie when this all started - but then the specialist said there was no fluid in her lungs and took her off of it after only a couple of days! That is a much more common dose than 5 mg for a dog Allie's size. I've gotten so frustrated that I just don't want to deal with vets anymore. Which leaves me undecided about pursuing (and having to pay more money for) the veterinary pathologist's opinion that I had originally contacted online about interpreting Allie's autopsy report. So, I am weary also.

As for the xray, I would have to wonder if Gb also was in congestive heart failure and possibly had fluid in his lung. Of course, that's just my guess. I don't know if cats get pneumonia. You could ask for a copy of the xray (that's what I did so that I could send it to this veterinary pathologist) and get another opinion from another vet - but my guess is, if you explain the whole situation, they will agree with whatever the ER vets told you. I do feel that your vet at least owes you a phone call and explanation.

Glad you reposted the links above. I need to go thru and reread them. I don't feel that I have gotten any signs from Allie other than the possible blue flowers in the yard the day she died. Do you feel like you have gotten any signs from Gb?

Mary

[Marj37]

Thank you, Marj. I know what you mean about not having enough energy to question what exactly happened to our babies. Your vet has not responded at all, and my vet did respond, but I felt like it was more in defense of the specialist than anything. I also talked to a holistic vet that I had consulted with by phone about Allie and didn't feel much better after than conversation. I know dogs die of heart disease and know that it probably would have eventually taken Allie's life, but I don't feel it should have happened when it did. I truly feel that no matter what I said happened, they were going to stick together and not say anything to the effect that Allie should have been admitted to the hospital when we took her to ER a few days before she died instead of being sent home or that she should have been on more medication rather than the very low dose she was on.

I did finally get out of the holistic vet that the 5 mg dose that the one specialist prescribed for Allie was way too low. My regular vet defended that dose when I questioned it several months ago, and then I brought it up again when I talked to her about Allie's autopsy - trying to get her to understand that I did not feel Allie's treatment was what it should have been. It's amazing to me because another vet in her OWN office actually prescribed 25 mg a day for Allie when this all started - but then the specialist said there was no fluid in her lungs and took her off of it after only a couple of days! That is a much more common dose than 5 mg for a dog Allie's size. I've gotten so frustrated that I just don't want to deal with vets anymore. Which leaves me undecided about pursuing (and having to pay more money for) the veterinary pathologist's opinion that I had originally contacted online about interpreting Allie's autopsy report. So, I am weary also.

As for the xray, I would have to wonder if Gb also was in congestive heart failure and possibly had fluid in his lung. Of course, that's just my guess. I don't know if cats get pneumonia. You could ask for a copy of the xray (that's what I did so that I could send it to this veterinary pathologist) and get another opinion from another vet - but my guess is, if you explain the whole situation, they will agree with whatever the ER vets told you. I do feel that your vet at least owes you a phone call and explanation.

Glad you reposted the links above. I need to go thru and reread them. I don't feel that I have gotten any signs from Allie other than the possible blue flowers in the yard the day she died. Do you feel like you have gotten any signs from Gb?

Mary

ER had done an echo on his last day and said it wasn't heart failure.

But his lungs were full of all kinds of spots and wispy stringy things on the xray and that's why they guessed cancer most likely;

whatever it was he was never going to be able to breathe outside he oxygen cage because they tried ---- plus he wouldn't eat even

with the appetite med..

Yes, cats do get pneumonia. They never were able to draw his blood as he got too stressed and the ER doc made

the decision not to try anymore after she told me what was happening and I agreed. Poor little guy. That also makes me sad when I think of the time

he had to spend there. If I tell my story a million times perhaps my feelings will get softer.........i know that is what is encouraged

with trauma victims.

Time will heal me a bit I hope. Writing will. prayer will. Meditating. My Yoga practice helps a bit when I can concentrate on my breathing.

[kayc]

I just saw this post, sorry I didn't respond earlier. Yes Arlie is on dry for dogs needing to lose weight. The Huskies we've owned have sensitive stomachs and we've had to be careful what we give them. I've finally found what works and stick with it, when he was younger he had digestive system problems, so I keep him on probiotics and don't switch his food around. We get it from Costco. The stuff they sell in the grocery store is crap. When I first got him they suggested the Science diet, but he couldn't tolerate it, nor could he tolerate what we got at the vet. We had the same problem with my granddoggy, Skye.

I don't understand why the vet won't call you back. If they want to get rid of you, all they have to do is answer your questions first!

[Kacy]

Kay,

It's hard when they have a sensitive stomach - had one years ago that did. If you ever decide to try to switch, you might want to check out dogfoodadvisor.com. They rate the various foods for quality. You can even look up various foods - low fat, etc. The good thing is that many of the companies are starting to put the # of calories on the bag, so you might want to compare that with what you are feeding. Science Diet really isn't a very good food - unless they've made major changes to it that I'm not aware of - and anything from the vet is generally terrible also. Hard to believe, but true. They do make a ton of money off of it though, and it is not cheap, that's for sure!

Marj was the one having trouble getting her vet to call her back. My regular vet is pretty good about it and I have not talked to the specialist since Allie died and don't care to. The pathologist I had contacted online did get back to me to say that he received the xray I sent (his suggestion) but hadn't tried to open it yet (would have been helpful if he did because I wasn't sure it would open and display properly when he got it). He said he would get back to me. That was about a week and a half ago. So, here we go again! Like Marj, I'm growing very tired of fighting to find out what happened to Allie. Just want the truth - whatever it is.

[kayc]

Yeah, I realize it was Marj, I guess I should have put her name...I tend to address everyone in one post but that can be confusing.

Power flickering, guess I'd better sign off!

[Marj37]

Arlie is seven, he weighs 132 lbs. My son & I think maybe he has a thyroid problem but the vets don't take it seriously and haven't tested him, I think they assume I feed him too much. He gets the same amount of food as my son's dog that is 50 lbs! And Arlie's food is supposed to help him LOSE weight!

Here's some pictures of my baby:

He looks so happy running, Kayc!

[Marj37]

Thank you, Kay. Not the best picture of Allie, but the only one I have right now. She actually looks bigger in the picture than she was. She was only 15 lbs.

DSC01073.JPG

Now I did see your Allie pic. What a beauty.

[Kacy]

Thanks, Marj. She was beautiful - inside and out. In a few days (June 27), it would have been 5 years that I adopted Allie from the rescue group. I remember seeing her picture on their website early one morning and applied for her before even talking to my husband about it. He was still sleeping, but I knew he would say yes and he did. A few days later, they quit taking applications because they had so many. I figured we would never get her, but a week or so later I got a phone call from her foster mom. I think they had pretty much decided to give Allie to us because we had adopted another Cavalier a few months prior, and they had already checked out our references and done our home visit (it is almost like adopting a child. Everything is checked out.).

We met Allie's foster mom 1/2 way, but we got lost right before finding the meeting place. When we got there, the foster mom was sitting in the back of her SUV holding Allie, and Allie was just snuggled up on her shoulder. I just started to cry even before I got out of the car. I knew she was going to be special to me, and she certainly was.

Allie came from an Amish "farm" (in most cases, another name for puppy mill). She was very timid. I don't think she had been mistreated, as many are, but just not lovingly cared for. It really was love at first site for me with Allie. Only felt that way with one other dog of mine.

She just brought so much joy to my life - every single day. You realize it when it's happening, but even more so when it's gone. It does feel like the joy is gone.

Thank you again for the kind words about Allie. If we ever get our pictures put on this new computer, I will post a few more.

Mary

[kayc]

Mary, that's how I feel about my Arlie. I fell in love with him instantly and no other dog would do after that!

[Kacy]

Kay,

Isn't that funny how that happens? You just know somehow. Many years ago, when I saw my English Setter sitting in a cage in a pet store, I knew I had to have him (didn't know at the time that the dogs in pet stores come from puppy mills or backyard breeders). We had an older dog at the time and my husband didn't want to get another dog until after Sam was gone, but I managed to talk him into it. It took about 2 weeks, and I was worried sick that someone else would come along and adopt Cody. He turned out to be a wonderful dog, but he was also a hunting dog so wanted to be outside in the backyard a lot. He also was just as attached to my son as he was me.

Allie was different. She was definitely my dog. Was Arlie a puppy when you adopted him? So glad that fate brought him into your life.

Mary

[kayc]

They told me Arlie ws aged 2-7 and 63 lbs (I got him from a rescue) but when I took him to the vet the next day they told me he was just under a year and 79 lbs. I figured he was 63 when they found him two weeks earlier and must have been starving to have put on that much in that short a time. He ate ravenously in the beginning! I wish I could have had him when he was younger because I feel I missed out so much. He knew how to "shake" but not much else. He didn't appear to have ever been inside a car or a house and was not house broke. It only took him two weeks though! He's very smart, in fact, the smartest dog I've ever owned. His pen has cedar chips in it and he has long fur so they get stuck in it, so every time I get him out of his pen he has to hold still while I brush him off. I'd tell him "other side" and he'd turn around and wait for me to brush the other side off before coming into the house. He also knows "other way" so if he winds himself around a pole I can tell him other way and he'll unwrap himself. Now I don't even have to tell him other side or other way any more, he just knows to. I've never had a dog like him! His personality is amazing, so funny and goofy and sweet and interactive.

It's nice having your own dog, one where you have a special relationship with, isn't it?!

[Kacy]

Arlie sounds like one of those dogs that just picks things up easily. My one English Setter is that way - probably the smartest dog I have ever had. She is more into squirrels and birds than people though, but she is a sweet dog.

Kind of odd that Arlie knew how to shake but didn't know anything else. You always wonder what their life was like before you met them. Arlie seems as though he just fit right into your life, so it was definitely meant to be.

Mary

[Marj37]

Thanks, Marj. She was beautiful - inside and out. In a few days (June 27), it would have been 5 years that I adopted Allie from the rescue group. I remember seeing her picture on their website early one morning and applied for her before even talking to my husband about it. He was still sleeping, but I knew he would say yes and he did. A few days later, they quit taking applications because they had so many. I figured we would never get her, but a week or so later I got a phone call from her foster mom. I think they had pretty much decided to give Allie to us because we had adopted another Cavalier a few months prior, and they had already checked out our references and done our home visit (it is almost like adopting a child. Everything is checked out.).

We met Allie's foster mom 1/2 way, but we got lost right before finding the meeting place. When we got there, the foster mom was sitting in the back of her SUV holding Allie, and Allie was just snuggled up on her shoulder. I just started to cry even before I got out of the car. I knew she was going to be special to me, and she certainly was.

Allie came from an Amish "farm" (in most cases, another name for puppy mill). She was very timid. I don't think she had been mistreated, as many are, but just not lovingly cared for. It really was love at first site for me with Allie. Only felt that way with one other dog of mine.

She just brought so much joy to my life - every single day. You realize it when it's happening, but even more so when it's gone. It does feel like the joy is gone.

Thank you again for the kind words about Allie. If we ever get our pictures put on this new computer, I will post a few more.

Mary

What a fantastic story of her adoption. We just know, dog lovers & cat lovers, when a companion is going to fit right in our

heart AND home----

I feel joy is gone as well--------I'm counting on it returning as memories of those awful days recede and the joyful ones can be

in the forefront.

[kayc]

Mary,

Actually, Arlie turned my life upsidedown, esp. the first year, but I wouldn't have any of it any other way. Never mind that he chewed everything I owned, (trim on house, rocking chair, dinette set, my vibrating/massaging loveseat, my favorite dress, countless shoes & slippers, a candle from Spain, 100 hand made cards, a book called Boundaries (the irony does not escape me!), MP3 player, my dream catcher, dog beds, dog toys, harnesses, you name it! You know what? NONE of that "stuff" matters a whit! Arlie is everything to me and worth anything/everything!

It does sound like Allie was just meant to be with you, just as Arlie was with me and Benji with Anne. We never know how long we'll have them with us but we are to enjoy each moment we have with them.

[Kacy]

Yes, some do not enter our lives and homes as easily as others. My one English Setter, Cody, was my other "love at first sight" dog. He was not a big chewer, but two of the things he managed to chew were the kitchen floor (just a small hole, but of course in a very noticeable spot) and the oak spindles on the staircase. Also, I looked outside one day and saw him throwing what I thought was a little stick up in the air and catching it and then throwing it again. I thought how cute he looked, until I realized the stick was actually what was left of an azalea bush that I had just planted a few days prior. Can be challenging, at times, bringing a new dog into the home, but like you said, it is worth it in the end.

Allie pretty much just walked into our home and hearts and fit in right away. At the time, we had another Cavalier, Logan, and our setter, Cody. She basically walked in, found a spot on the couch and that was it. She didn't really chew much, of course she was a bit older, but loved to chew napkins and kleenex when she could get a hold of them. Also, she loved to shred things, so if somehow Molly's (Cavalier) diaper would fall off while we were gone, you could count on Allie to shred it all over the family room.

Having a hard time today, thinking about Allie. Maybe it's the depressing weather we are having. I keep thinking of where she would be in the room if she was here - right now, laying at my feet while I'm on the computer. Or, if I was in the kitchen, she would be laying by the cabinets watching me - the dining room, she would be laying against the wall while we ate dinner. So hard to think that this is the way it's going to be from now on - no Allie.

Mary

[Marj37]

Hi Mary

Such beautiful Allie memories. Your pal all around the house. Love it. Just like my Gb kitty was. And I loved that.

I have to laugh at your telling of Allie chewing up a doggy diaper. Oh my!. Those are such neat stories to tell us.

Sharing stories is good.

It definitely is a rough path we travel now.

Sending hugs and pawpats from Hamish kitty.