kayc Posted June 23, 2015 Report Share Posted June 23, 2015 My granddoggy, Skye lived with me much of his life and I dogsat for him when he didn't live with me. When he was upset (when his daddy was gone too much) he'd chew up mail, any papers he could get his teeth on. I devised a solution, he was allowed to vent his displeasure/frustration by chewing papers, but I put a box in the family room and wadded up newspapers. When he was upset he'd go get one of them (or a bunch of them) and he'd shred them. It made a bit of a mess to clean up but no big deal, nothing harmed. It ended his getting into the mail and other things we cared about and gave him a way to voice himself. He always knew grandma had wadded papers just for him. Your talking about Allie reminds me how hard our daily habits are to change, whether we lose a dog or cat, or a husband, they're part of our everyday lives and not having them in it just hits us on a daily basis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted June 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 23, 2015 Marj - yes, definitely a rough path. I always knew that losing Allie would be very, very difficult. Thought I would someday have to make "the" decision and couldn't ever imagine having to do that. But never expected to lose her the way we did or when we did. I'm sure you probably feel the same way about Gb. Kay, what a good idea about the newspapers for Skye. He must have been pretty smart to be able to figure out which newspapers belonged to him. So many people would have given him up rather then try to deal with it. I guess that's why there are so many dogs in shelters. It is hard to accept changes in our lives - especially when it involves someone we love. Hard to think that this is the way it's going to be now. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maylissa Posted June 23, 2015 Report Share Posted June 23, 2015 Also, just found that all of my pictures of Allie that were on my old computer are somehow screwed up and my husband is not able to transfer them to the new computer. So, that is really upsetting. Don't even want to think that I will lose all of them - not only of Allie but my other dogs as well. I did find one still on the camera so will try to post it here, if I figure out how. Mary, didn't you say you'd bought yourself a Mac this year? (sorry, no time to check back on that now) If so, you should be able to take both computers (old & new) to a Mac store (with a booked appt. first) and they'll transfer all your pics to your Mac FOR you, and probably for FREE, too. Their Support is actually quite excellent for their customers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted June 24, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 Yes, I did get a new computer when the old one crashed on us. So, the only way to get the pictures was to put them on a flash drive. The problem my husband is having is that he can't seem to be able to transfer them all at once to the new computer. We need to go take the classes at Apple or at least find out how to transfer them over. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted June 24, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 Sorry, I was wrong. They aren't on the flash drive. I think we're going to have someone fix our old computer and then it will be much easier to transfer. As you can tell, I'm not the one who handles this here as I have no clue. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 24, 2015 Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 If it's on your old computer's hard drive, a technician can easily transfer your pictures without having to fix the computer if you don't want it anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted June 29, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2015 The old computer had a virus so that is the problem. We're just going to have it fixed anyway so that we will have an extra computer that my husband can use. He has a friend that can fix it reasonably. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 29, 2015 Report Share Posted June 29, 2015 Oh, good! The files would have to be fixed anyway to rid them of the virus so they wouldn't infect any new computer you put them on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted June 29, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2015 Yesterday was kind of a rough day. Seems like we've had a lot of them lately - either due to it being an anniversary date relating to Allie or just the fact that I miss her terribly and my home is not the same without her. She was the one who made us laugh. There was a pet expo yesterday where one of our holistic vets was speaking, so we decided to go. It was small, but fairly nice. Various booths set up with local vets and vendors selling pet items. Two of the booths were local pet cemeteries, so I tried not to spend much time there. A lot of people brought their dogs with them - thankfully no Cavaliers. We spoke with the holistic vet before she gave her presentation and told her about Allie. We hadn't been to see her since Lucy died, so she wasn't aware that we lost Allie. It was hard even talking about it, so I quickly changed the subject after a few minutes. On the way home, I spotted a young guy walking his Cavalier not too far from our house. I was so surprised because you don't really see many of them around. Later in the evening, I think everything just got to me. I really miss Allie and find that even the day to day things just aren't the same anymore. She and I were so close, and now everything is different - and I don't like the "new" different. No matter what was going on in life, I always knew Allie was there and now she's not. I know at some point the "new" different will become less "new". Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted June 29, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2015 Kay, I think we were posting at the same time. Yes, thankfully this guy and his wife are both computer experts because I wouldn't have any idea how to even begin. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 29, 2015 Report Share Posted June 29, 2015 It's true how something can hit us at any moment. I've learned not to think of these as setbacks, but rather opportunities for the grief to flow and yes, progress. We need to experience our pain in order to make it through this journey, it is part of it. The pain and the love, I see as intertwined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marj37 Posted June 29, 2015 Report Share Posted June 29, 2015 Yesterday was kind of a rough day. Seems like we've had a lot of them lately - either due to it being an anniversary date relating to Allie or just the fact that I miss her terribly and my home is not the same without her. She was the one who made us laugh. There was a pet expo yesterday where one of our holistic vets was speaking, so we decided to go. It was small, but fairly nice. Various booths set up with local vets and vendors selling pet items. Two of the booths were local pet cemeteries, so I tried not to spend much time there. A lot of people brought their dogs with them - thankfully no Cavaliers. We spoke with the holistic vet before she gave her presentation and told her about Allie. We hadn't been to see her since Lucy died, so she wasn't aware that we lost Allie. It was hard even talking about it, so I quickly changed the subject after a few minutes. On the way home, I spotted a young guy walking his Cavalier not too far from our house. I was so surprised because you don't really see many of them around. Later in the evening, I think everything just got to me. I really miss Allie and find that even the day to day things just aren't the same anymore. She and I were so close, and now everything is different - and I don't like the "new" different. No matter what was going on in life, I always knew Allie was there and now she's not. I know at some point the "new" different will become less "new". Mary This new different is so difficult. Sigh! And for my Hamish also as he looks or listens for Gb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted June 29, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2015 I wanted to post a few pictures of the small memorial area I planted for Allie and Lucy. Here are the stones. Hope you can read them. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted June 29, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2015 A few more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 29, 2015 Report Share Posted June 29, 2015 Just precious, Mary. I hope this special place of remembrance you've created to honor Allie and Lucy brings you peace and healing ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marj37 Posted June 30, 2015 Report Share Posted June 30, 2015 Mary --- I love what you have done. Beautiful tribute and a great way to have it so you can look at it. And the stones with the words and flowers are perfect. And where did you get the round one with those wonderful words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted June 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2015 Thank you Marty and Marj. Marj, here is the link for the stepping stone: https://withsympathygifts.com/mystore/those-we-have-held-in-our-arms-stepping-stone.html Kay, I agree. It's because we loved them so much that the pain is so overwhelming. Some days it's just so hard to deal with though. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marj37 Posted June 30, 2015 Report Share Posted June 30, 2015 Thanks for the link, Mary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted June 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2015 You're welcome. I had found other stepping stones with the same saying, but I thought this one was the nicest. Not cheap with the shipping, but I am happy with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 30, 2015 Report Share Posted June 30, 2015 This is beautiful, I love what you did! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted July 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 Thank you, Kay. I think it's going to be a work in progress. I also have wind chimes hanging in the tree there. For some reason, after Lucy died they just seemed to remind me of her. Miss them so much. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted July 5, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 5, 2015 I don't know why, but yesterday was just a bad day for me. I feel like I'm still trying to avoid facing the fact that Allie is gone. When I do think about her and how much I miss her, I really have to force myself to even do the day to day things around here. I know this is all probably normal, but it sure does not seem to be getting any easier. Then last night, I got an email from someone on one of my Yahoo lists for people with dogs who have congestive heart failure. She had lost her Cavalier yesterday morning. I feel so badly for her. She had emailed me a lot when my other Cavalier, Molly, had been so sick last summer and just was so encouraging. Then, when we lost Allie, she would always write to say she was praying for all of us and to check on us. She seems to have a very strong faith in God and says how grateful she is to have had her Cavalier for so many years. I have to admit that I have a tough time being grateful. I did get an email from the veterinary pathologist I had contacted about Allie's autopsy report. I had sent him a copy of the xray that he requested several weeks ago and had only heard back that he received it. I was kind of surprised to hear from him. He is not able to open the xray because he doesn't have the right software, but said he thinks the radiologist there would be able to do that. He was checking to see if I still had any unresolved questions because when I contacted him, I still had not gone over it with my regular vet. So, I emailed him back that I do still have questions and asked about him fees to review the report and xray. I'm not sure anyone will ever be able to tell me if Allie should have been treated more aggressively for the congestive heart failure or not, but I'm going to probably ask anyway. One holistic vet I spoke with said she always treats more aggressively with the diuretics when there is any doubt about its effect and deals with the possible kidney issue later. Hopefully, I will hear back from him next week. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 5, 2015 Report Share Posted July 5, 2015 I hope you get the answers you need, it's hard when you have unanswered questions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted July 6, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 6, 2015 Thank you, Kay. I already feel in my heart that more could have been done, but there is nothing I can do about it now. I'm going to have to learn to accept that. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marj37 Posted July 6, 2015 Report Share Posted July 6, 2015 I don't know why, but yesterday was just a bad day for me. I feel like I'm still trying to avoid facing the fact that Allie is gone. When I do think about her and how much I miss her, I really have to force myself to even do the day to day things around here. I know this is all probably normal, but it sure does not seem to be getting any easier. Then last night, I got an email from someone on one of my Yahoo lists for people with dogs who have congestive heart failure. She had lost her Cavalier yesterday morning. I feel so badly for her. She had emailed me a lot when my other Cavalier, Molly, had been so sick last summer and just was so encouraging. Then, when we lost Allie, she would always write to say she was praying for all of us and to check on us. She seems to have a very strong faith in God and says how grateful she is to have had her Cavalier for so many years. I have to admit that I have a tough time being grateful. I did get an email from the veterinary pathologist I had contacted about Allie's autopsy report. I had sent him a copy of the xray that he requested several weeks ago and had only heard back that he received it. I was kind of surprised to hear from him. He is not able to open the xray because he doesn't have the right software, but said he thinks the radiologist there would be able to do that. He was checking to see if I still had any unresolved questions because when I contacted him, I still had not gone over it with my regular vet. So, I emailed him back that I do still have questions and asked about him fees to review the report and xray. I'm not sure anyone will ever be able to tell me if Allie should have been treated more aggressively for the congestive heart failure or not, but I'm going to probably ask anyway. One holistic vet I spoke with said she always treats more aggressively with the diuretics when there is any doubt about its effect and deals with the possible kidney issue later. Hopefully, I will hear back from him next week. Mary Mary - even if you don't get answers you will know you pursued it. I'm glad you did that step. Same as when I had to ask my vet twice to get the test results from that ER. I just wanted to know that what I heard in that whole traumatic event was correct and hopefully my vet was honest in her response when she replied that he had very little healthy lung tissue left; filled with tumors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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