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KATPILOT

To Honor Them

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I just can't find a word or phrase that works for describing what I feel now after Mother's Day has come , and gone. For the first time in my life, I had nothing to do that day. No flowers, no card, no brunch to plan. But it brought back memories and thoughts of my own mom who I lost thirty five years ago and my step mom of thirty years who left this last January. And then it brought me back to my wife and her mom...........all gone. I truly felt alone facing that day. I thought "screw this!" I needed to do something.

I brought my grandchildren over and we made a cake to surprize their mommy with. All the time I was doing it, I had a certain feeling that Kathy was there with me seeing this all unfold. I knew it would honor her to do what she would have been doing. That was the point you see. I was honoring her doing what would have been happening had she still been alive.

And this my friends is the best ever way to honor them. To carry on if you will. It brings me back to something I read which is now stuck on my fridge. It says:

"I will not fail you my love. I will continue on the path we shared and I know you will be there to help me, as you always were. And when we meet again at the journey's end, and we laugh together once more, I will have a thousand things to tell you"

{ author unknown }

I think I shall honor the rest of them in that same fashion.

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I have no grandchildren (yet) to do such with, and if I did, they'd be too far away. It was a pretty tough day to get through and I, for one, am glad it's over. I'm glad you found a way to focus Mother's Day on.

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When I go out tonight with my son for dinner, I will raise a toast. "Happy Birthday George" :D

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Thank you, Stephen, that's sweet of you!

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Sunday is a yearly event that I take part in. It is the "Light Up Your Life" event hosted by Hospice of The Valley in Phoenix. On the jumbotron will come pictures of my dad, my mom, my stepmom, and of course my bride who all left this world in hospice facilities here in Phoenix. This year my sister, my son and his family will join me in celebrating their lives. It is such a powerful event set to music among perhaps as many as two thousand other souls who have lost someone. It is a moving and loving way to honor those we've lost and I am both honored and glad to support it. Of course it's dark so no one sees the tears. I wonder if they will need to water the grass when we've all left. 

Edited by MartyT
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It sounds like it'll be very special.  I hope it's something that greatly feeds your soul.

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What a wonderful moving experience I had last night.  The one thing I noticed was how when watching pictures of all the other people honored, you get such a feeling of sorrow and compassion for those who put up their loved ones. You feel their pain just like your own and somehow the sadness eases among all those other people. It was great to meet you Brad and your wonderful daughter.  I guess we got dragged into that TV interview Huh?  I saw us on the news when I got home and my friend you told it well.

My sister took this picture of me with a very special lady who helped save me years ago when desperation was my life and sorrow had me on my knees. Her name is Joyce and she is one of those special angels that roams this planet.

joyce.JPG

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A special angel indeed, dear Stephen, and a dear and loyal friend. Thanks so much for sharing this beautiful photo of the two of you ~ Warms my heart 

And kudos to you and Brad for availing yourselves of this beautiful ritual of remembrance, sponsored every year by Hospice of the Valley.

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What a beautiful update and how nice to be able to put a face to the name now!

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I have spent a part of this evening talking with my sister celebrating long distance our mom's 23rd birthday. Yes today is leap day and she would have been 92. We laughed about the good times and looked through pictures together from each our own homes and it was a happy time. Our mom died in 1981 from ovarian cancer at the age of 57 and though it seems so long ago, the memories remain.  Time is a funny thing, but it doesn't erase the love or gratitude for allowing us to have the wonderful lives we've had.

 

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I had planned going out to dinner last night to celebrate Kathy's birthday. I have always gone alone but this year because Easter is this weekend, my sister came up and we went together to one of Kathy's favorite places. We spent the evening talking and remembering the wonderful person she was and still is. Some people still work there who knew Kathy and they sent over a birthday desert cake. I really can't describe the feeling. It was just incredibly perfect. To be able to share memories with others who knew her is so special now. I never thought I would be able to do this. I wanted to share this picture of Kathy's last birthday at her favorite place on the planet. I was wearing the same pants last night but they are a lot tighter now!

I believe birthdays are a big, big way to honor our loved one's. We did so when they were alive so what better honor than to do so now?

birthday in Maui.JPG

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How beautiful!  Thank you for wharing that with us.  You make a beautiful couple!

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On 3/25/2016 at 5:31 AM, KATPILOT said:

I had planned going out to dinner last night to celebrate Kathy's birthday. I have always gone alone but this year because Easter is this weekend, my sister came up and we went together to one of Kathy's favorite places. We spent the evening talking and remembering the wonderful person she was and still is. Some people still work there who knew Kathy and they sent over a birthday desert cake. I really can't describe the feeling. It was just incredibly perfect. To be able to share memories with others who knew her is so special now. I never thought I would be able to do this. I wanted to share this picture of Kathy's last birthday at her favorite place on the planet. I was wearing the same pants last night but they are a lot tighter now!

I believe birthdays are a big, big way to honor our loved one's. We did so when they were alive so what better honor than to do so now?

birthday in Maui.JPG

It seems like such a long time ago and still it hurts. It hurts like it was yesterday. Today Kathy would be 59. Every year after she left I would go out and celebrate her life. Almost always by myself but this year is different. I will go out with Patty my bride and we will celebrate Kathy's life once again. It never leaves me, this sadness. This night is for her and although we would never be able to leave the restaurant so early after our opening some things are more important than the work. As Patty would say "Family comes first".

I think I shall wear the same clothes I am wearing in this picture because I lost 24 pounds since we started building this new Maui Pasta and I can fit into them again. Oh Yay!

What a mix of happy and sad.  Anyone who thinks you get over it just because life goes on and you find new love.......... You don't.

Here is to you sweet girl.  Happy Birthday.

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One thing that I realize is that that picture was taken on Maui just a bit of distance where Patty and Ron were living. How interesting the connection, how our lives are so entwined. 

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We are with you (and Patty) as you remember your beloved Kathy (and Ron), dear Steve. I hope that they are dancing together in Heaven as they share in your joy here on Earth 

 

Image result for happy birthday in heaven

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Steve, It's poignant, the memories, honoring them.  Amazing when you think how you spent Kathy's last birthday there...so close to where Patty and Ron were.  I found out after I met George that he had once lived a couple of miles from where I did when we were growing up.  He might have seen me riding my bicycle around town!  

I remember your sharing that picture with us, Kathy was beautiful.

So how does one lose 24 pounds when they own an Italian restaurant?  :D  You must have been working your socks off!

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I hope that this woman knows that her message went viral, and is being appreciated in the United States. Love, condolences, and many thanks to the people who shared this bit of humanity. We are better people for sharing this.

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