Six Months

[Froggie4635]

I know it isn't good to compare grief, but I am approaching 6 months and I wondered what everyone else found at that timeframe. I notice that I am not crying as much, but that my emotions are still very much beneath the surface. I have more times now when reality sinks in, and I only face it a little at a time. I am adjusting to my new "normal" schedule wise. If anything pops up that is different from it, I feel nervous. I have gained back some focus, but again, if I am pushed to try and handle too much, I get completely overwhelmed. I still also get so tired at the end of the day. I have stopped reading my grief books; so much of the time they seem to deal with fresh grief, and I am not sure I still fall into that category. Is it considered "fresh" when it is part of the first year? I know it may be difficult for some to remember exactly how they were feeling at 6 months, but I would like to prepare myself.

Thanks,

Maryann

[enna]

Oh, dear Maryann,

This sentence of yours, “I know it may be difficult for some to remember exactly how they were feeling at 6 months, but I would like to prepare myself” reminded me of how very much I thought grief was just grief in those early months and we all did it the same. Boy, was I wrong. I was very much still numb in those early months. I had a very hard time focusing on much of anything. There is so much going on that first year and even second and third. One of the important things that I learned on this grief journey is that everyone’s journey is unique. No one grieves the same. There is no way to prepare yourself for your journey. Each day and week will guide you. The most important thing to me was to allow what was happening to me. There were days that I could not even get out of bed. There were days that I could not go into a store. There were days that I almost convinced myself that I just couldn’t go on like this. Some days were better for me than others. As I read about grief and worked through my own grief I came to realize that. I had been “in charge” of my Jim’s health after his diagnosis and thought I’d be fine when he died. I was not. It took me quite awhile to realize that dealing with death is not just intellectual. It is also heartache. Both the mind and the heart have to somehow reach a happy medium. That is when my healing began.I believe that you can prepare yourself by accepting that whatever you go through is normal in grief. There will be tsunamis and those times will end and there will be more comfortable times. I wish you more of those peaceful times as you begin your journey. We are here and are good listeners. No one who comes here journeys alone.

Anne

[kayc]

I'd say six months is still very early into it and as Anne said, everyone is unique in their grief journey and how they handle it.