MartyT Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Carrie, my dear, my heart reaches out to you in your pain. I am so sorry that your beloved Callie is suffering, and I know that you are suffering right along with her. I will keep both of you in my thoughts and prayers ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Keeping you close, Carrie. I know you are hurting. I am so sorry to hear of the death of your grandfather, Marj. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I so wish you could have that big Chester hug right now. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Thank you so much, dear Marty. I know you and others here know this pain. Jerry came to get me yesterday when he found Callie shaking with pain, and evidence that she had vomited in his shop. I took her to Jerry's bathroom to weigh her. Her normal weight is 9.5 pounds (10 when chubby). She weighed 8.5 pounds yesterday (wavered on 8, but settled on 8.5). That is a huge weight loss for a Doxie. I brought her to the back deck with Jerry and me, and held her for a couple of hours in the late afternoon with hope that the cool breezes might help her feel better. She shook almost the entire time. I texted Amberly to tell her that it's decision time. She said that she will call our vet today. I asked her to get buprenex ordered right away for her severe pain, if possible. Since Jerry became unable to have Callie sleep with us, she has slept with Amberly. Both Ashely and Callie slept with Jerry and me for 14 years. Ashely slept in my left arm, and Callie slept between us. Poor Jerry often found himself hanging onto his side of the bed due to Callie getting crosswise the bed, bowing up, and kicking him with all the power she has in her inch and a half hind legs (a surprising wallop for one so little!). Amberly got little sleep after 1:30 a.m. this morning, because Callie's tummy hurt, and she had diarrhea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Carrie, I am sorry about what you are going through with Callie. Please keep us abreast of when she is scheduled for surgery and how she's doing. Our hearts are with you as we hope for the best possible outcome for Callie. I do know what you mean about not putting through any more, I'd feel the same way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Dear Anne, Thank you for caring. Our posts crossed each other. Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Dear Kay, Thank you also for your care and understanding. I'm telling myself that Callie can have surgery, and can live a while longer. It's possible surgery might buy her some time. Right now, we wait. Thank all of you for waiting with us. I will keep you informed. I've yet to hear from Amberly. She's likely eyeball deep getting her staff lined out. It's early yet, but it seems to be taking forever. I have to let her call, because only she will know when she can drive us to the vet. Blessings and warm hugs to all. Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Copperpot, I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandfather. Good that you can post here as you are probably right - family members wouldn't understand your feelings right now when they are dealing with the loss of your grandfather. I agree with Kay though, it can be just as difficult to lose your dog or cat as it is to lose a family member. Take care. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Carrie, I hope that your sweet Callie is able to have her surgery. I know several years ago we had to have a dental done on our shih tzu, who had kidney disease, and we were worried about it, too. It all turned out okay though. They just had her on the IV fluids the whole time. I think the dental issues can be a real problem as they start having other health issues. Right now, we are dealing with that with Molly. She could really use a dental, although as far as we know, there are no major problems going on. It seems these smaller dogs have more than their share of dental problems but when they start having heart/kidney/liver issues, it becomes kind of a balancing act. Hope everything goes okay. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Copperpot Posted July 8, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through Carrie, thank you for sharing your story with me. By the way, my name is Carrie too :-) I know you must be on an emotional rollercoaster with all that is going on. I cant imagine how you must be feeling. It is such a risk to love so deeply and such a terrible ache to know we will have to let them go. To be losing Callie this soon after Ashelys passing, it has to be nothing short of torment. I know how it feels to lose a dog that has been with you for many years like that. I had a poodle growing up that was with us for 16 years & when he passed I felt so lost for so long. I also know that you are making tough decisions & I am praying for you. What you said about Chester was very kind. We absolutely think he was a masterpiece we were so beyond blessed to have him. It all just feels so sudden & unfinished. thats what I am struggling to accept. My thoughts are with you Carrie. I know you will do what is best for your baby .. Thanks anne for your kind words as well. I may never get another big Chester hug, but I am thankful for my other two and I will try to find comfort in them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Dear Mary, Thank you for responding. The first dental went well for Ashely, although she had KD already. She lived only 3 weeks after her dental surgery, even though her "numbers" were low. I believe it was ten days after Ashely's death that we learned Callie has KD, and her numbers were higher than Ashely's were even at the time of her death (prior to surgery). The anesthetic put Ashely in a downward spiral, and her numbers soared. We learned about Callie when we had her lab work done for her dental. The vet really hated to tell us, because our hearts were already breaking. He's been a family friend for decades (He knows about my husband, Jerry, and his growing aneurysms and all he/we went through). Callie had bad teeth even in Oct 2014, but we've treated her with amoxicillin and metacam (anti inflammatory for arthritis, which vet said would help with dental problems also). I haven't been able to give it her for over a week due to her not eating well. Because Ashely and Callie are cousins, the vet has been particularly conservative in his treatment of Callie. They've mentioned in 2014 keeping her on IV fluids for two days prior to any dental work, yet tell us honestly that they don't think it will help a lot. We were also told that she would be miserable while caged with her movement restricted. It's a tough thing to decide. I'm asking God what we need to do, for she is His baby also. He created our fur baby, so she belongs to Him even more than to us. He understands our hearts, and that gives us some comfort. Still, it hurts so badly. Death still has an awful sting. I'm grateful for His Rainbow Bridge. As I write, Amberly texted that our vet is away until July 27!! Oh, no! Callie can see another doctor in his office at 4:40 tomorrow. We will take it. Someone has to help her soon. They're to call Amberly back about the buprenex. I'll beg tomorrow, if need be. You are right in all that you said about our wee doggies. If Molly has no major health problems, I think I would get her teeth done in case the ugly beast KD, or another serious disease, raises its head later in her life. Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Thank you, Carrie, for your response, and for your kind words. I will pray for you as well, for I hear your hurting heart speaking. Yes, things have been something akin to a rollercoaster ride around here for a while. We lose our precious babies' hugs, so we turn to the arms of our virtual friends here, and give thanks for each one. Blessings, Carrie, too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Carrie, I'm sorry your vet is away but glad Amberly was able to find another vet who can see her tomorrow. Let us know what you find out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 I have an update on Callie. I texted Amberly to tell her that Callie has become worse, and that I really don't want to wrap myself around anyone's head, but someone needs to be helping Callie. Amberly called the vet's office again, and Callie will be seen today as soon as Amberly can get away from work. That's the abbreviated version. Callie's showing increased symptoms of uremia. Her hind legs are not holding her up well. Her breath has an exceptionally strong ammonia odor (has been increasing over time; really bad today). She's beating the water in her dish with her paws, causing it to splatter onto the floor several feet away from her dish. She's thirsty, but can't drink. The diarrhea has increased in number, but there's no food in her stomach. Her skin tells me that she is severely dehydrated. Unless she has IV therapy, I don't think she can live until tomorrow. That's why I was threatening to wrap myself around someone's head. Our baby is in trouble. I had to. I've been down the uremia road before, so I know what I'm seeing, I think. Of course, my assessment is made without BUN and creatinine levels known. Amberly just texted me to say that she's on her way home. Please pray that we will make whatever decision is right for Callie. I so wish our regular vet was here, but wishing doesn't make it so. Jerry has promised me that he will stay parked on the couch in our bedroom until I get home. I don't leave him! The vet's office is only 2 miles away, so we shouldn't be long. One scared Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 9, 2015 Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 Carrie, my dear, I am so sorry this is happening to you and your fur baby. I am hoping for the best possible outcome for Callie, and holding both of you in gentle thought and prayer . . . ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Copperpot Posted July 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 Prayers going out to you tonight ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kacy Posted July 9, 2015 Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 Carrie, Thinking of you this morning and keeping all in my prayers. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 9, 2015 Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 OMG, Carrie, I'm sorry I didn't see this last night. Please let us know how she is as soon as you're able. Praying!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Copperpot Posted July 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 Had a wake for my grandpa last night. We laughed & shared memories. I wish I could feel the same closure about Chester. I keep wondering if I will ever get over it. I go to bed every night still feeling like I failed him. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 9, 2015 Report Share Posted July 9, 2015 (((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted July 10, 2015 Report Share Posted July 10, 2015 Dear Carrie, I send you hugs also. I'm sorry you've lost your grandfather, but glad the wake helped your feelings (I'm Scottish and Irish, so I know about wakes). I hurt for you regarding your little Copperpot, because I understand your not being able to reach peace yet. When we feel something could have been done better, a death is so much more difficult to become at peace about. I know things needed to be done better regarding Ashely (our Doxie who died last Oct 10), but I choose to forgive the egotistical, hot-tempered vet who caused my baby to die. Forgiving him doesn't mean I have to like or respect him. Nor does it mean that I can't tell the truth on him, which I do at every opportunity. I don't tell the truth on him in order to harm him, but to protect others who are as ignorant about kidney disease and anesthesia as I once was. The first vet to tell me that the anesthesia should never have been given was the one who euthanized her. She is a long-time friend. Later, other vets confirmed what she said. Thank you for graciously allowing me to use your thread. I was so rattled yesterday that I didn't even think about it. In truth, I'm still rattled today, so hope I'm writing all right. Our posts may look really confusing since we both are named Carrie. I started a new thread about Callie's trip to the vet yesterday, but will still come back and visit you here. See you here ~ and there. When I copied and pasted to the forum, the spacing went a bit wacky. Blessings and warm hugs, Carrie, too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted July 10, 2015 Report Share Posted July 10, 2015 I thank each of you who have written to me here. I love all of you for your support. These days are difficult for us, and for you. We will hold onto each other, as we lift each other up. May God hold each of you tenderly. He is our hope, and our salvation. Blessings, Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Copperpot Posted July 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2015 Thank you lady carrie, I know you know how I feel regarding a lack of closure. I am not sure I will ever feel completely right about what happened with Chester. I dont know why, but for some reason it was like the vets just couldnt see what I was seeing. Until he was completely unable to move, they just didnt take it seriously. I have these questions about whether it was the right choice to put him under anesthesia when his brain was that swollen. Was there other options? Could a spinal tap have provided some answers & been less risky?? I dont know that I will ever have these answers. All I am left with is that this beautiful dog, that so enriched our lives, is gone forever. It seems like nothing was done to save him. Its not a mistake I plan to ever repeat. Carrie, the things you learned from your previous pets has taught you how to better advocate & care for the one you are caring for now. May not seem like a win, but maybe it is what we are supposed to learn. Healing thoughts for Callie today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted July 11, 2015 Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 Yes, what I've learned through good things ~ and through things that fill me with anguish and great remorse ~ help Callie. I'm thankful this newly-acquired knowledge helps Callie, yet it causes me to remember vividly that Ashely suffered horribly due to my lack of this knowledge. Our going through this with Callie brings back memories of the vet-led wrong decisions I made for Ashely. He is a bad vet due to his ego, regardless of his knowledge of medicine. I hear my own voice echoing through my mind and heart that Ashely suffered due to my decisions. The guilt is not mine; still, remorse fills me. I know God will help me thorough this, for He always does. I'll become all right again. His grace is sufficient for me this day. Tomorrow will become "this day." I am definitely a better advocate for our babies. Our babies, our decisions. Education is of utmost importance. Each of us here is trying hard to help all others by telling our stories, and sharing what we've learned through our experiences. This caring and sharing is Love in action. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marj37 Posted July 15, 2015 Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 I thank each of you who have written to me here. I love all of you for your support. These days are difficult for us, and for you. We will hold onto each other, as we lift each other up. May God hold each of you tenderly. He is our hope, and our salvation. Blessings, Carrie Thank you, Carrie. It a perfect place to let our hair down and tell our feelings. A definite priceless gift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted July 15, 2015 Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 ❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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