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Healing? Is that what I can hope for? When a wound heals, sometimes it closes and is no more, other times it heals and leaves a scar, either way there is restoration, repair. Does that mean I will “heal” from this deep gaping wound festering around my heart? How could there be healing, how could that even be a word in this journey? The whole idea angered me, but staying in my initial torchered state was not an option either. A wound closes in time. My heart would never close, and I would never mend or be restored to the person I was.

Although Webster’s definition is an appropriate definition for healing after physical injury, it is not accurate for what happens in the context of emotional loss. So what does happen? The wound remains open, but it is that gap that propels you to dive deeper, that raw exposure that makes you long to transform. There is no waiting for the wound to close in order to step into life.
~Healing is holding and accepting the pain while allowing life to open up at the same time~
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This is a MUCH more apt definition of the healing of grief loss.

It's true, we do not get over our loss, but rather learn to coexist with it. We learn to incorporate it into our new lives. I say new because we ARE never the same again. We can be better as we allow our experience to bring new depth to us but our lives are never "better" without the one we love a part of our daily existence the way they were. I say the way they were because I believe they are still a part of our existence, absent though they may be in physical form, in the past ten years there has not been one day go by that George hasn't incessantly been in my mind and heart. His influence continues still in my life.

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