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"Grief has its seasons and they are unpredictable, but they will pass and each has its own inner logic. Sometimes the best we can do is say, "okay that's how it is today. What can I do that is most compatible with this mood?" Martha Hickman

I find no difference in grief and death. In death there is grief, but grief itself is death. It is not a mere missing what has been lost, but a personal death ensues. You lose what you have loved and you lose yourself. It all comes crashing down to nothing.

Losing a child is not just the absence of a physical presence, missing their physical features and their love, you lose yourself as well. The process becomes finding yourself again and grieving the absence of the child at the same time. It is the loss of dreams. New dreams will have to come, but not now.

Deep loss is like walking through a field of landmines. You don't always know where they are or when they will detonate. They can do a little damage or a lot. This isn’t unique only to people who have experienced a catastrophic death, but the accumulation of unacknowledged losses throughout life. We all carry them with us, and are surprised when they go off and we often don't have any idea why.

You just can't get around it, no matter how hard you try to push it away or yell or scream or ignore it, or sing or dance. Grief will just wait for you until you acknowledge that it hurts and release it
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