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Grieving Horribly Over Loss Of My Beloved Cat


Critterdoll

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Carrie, my heart goes out to you for what you are going through!  As if it isn't enough going through the grief of losing your baby poochies, now you're going through physical pain as well.  I can well understand the fear of needles.  I have two spurs on my right foot; one under my heel and one on the back of my heel.  The podiatrist said that is unusual to have two on one foot.  I had injections two separate times under my heel to help relieve the pain, but neither injection helped.  I was barely able to walk around.  I bought cushions to put in my sneakers to ease the pain somewhat.  If I sat down for awhile and would get up again, the pain was unbearable.  I had to use a cane to walk around.  The spur is still there because they never go away because a spur is bone growth.  The podiatrist strongly recommended not to have surgery.  He said many a time the problem gets worse then.  He gave me a soft gel pack that you microwave then wrap around the foot.  That has helped somewhat.  Lately though the pain has lessened alot (I believe that is God's doing), and I am able to walk around in a normal fashion, but, if I walk around too much on any given day, the pain does return pretty badly again, so I do have to be careful about how long I am on my feet in one stretch.

My goodness, injections in the spine??  My prayers are with you Carrie! 

You talk about your Doxies......I assume that you are referring to dachshunds?  A neighbor I used to have next door used to have one.  The dog's name was Ginger.  I got in the habit of buying and giving her chewy treats so every time I would be going out and she happened to be outside with her human, she would immediately start barking at me for those yummy treats, and of course I couldn't disappoint and she knew it.  That was quite a few years ago, and she has since gone to the Rainbow Bridge and her human to a nursing home.

My lovebunny (another name I had for Spooky) is gone over two weeks now and my heart is still heavy and I still cry.  I still expect to see him at the door when I get home, or to see him come to me from another room, then my heart jumps when I remember, oh yeah, he is not here anymore.  Even writing these words is like a stab of pain in my heart.  I will never, ever forget him because he is my forever cat, in this life and the next.  No matter who I adopt next (which won't be until after I move), I know that Spooky will forever hold a special place in my heart!

~ Mia ~

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Mia, my heart is still heavy & I still cry often even though its been almost 2 months since we lost Chester. It just takes time, and sometimes, A LOT of time. I wake up every morning with a sinking feeling and if I am to be honest, I still feel guilt. There is no rhyme or reason to how we grieve. Sometimes you feel like youve turned a corner only to be back where you started. You are also going through an impending move which is emotional in and of itself. Some people have eluded to the fact that its easier to forget and move on. But I believe its better to remember often, no matter how painful. I wish you all the best today and in the days to come :)

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I can't even imagine losing Arlie, but I know it'd take more time to get over him than I have in this lifetime.  :(  My thoughts are with all of you that have lost your beloved companions.

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Copperpot, I feel with me it will take alot of time.  I still cry because I miss Spooky so much.  Sometimes I cry as much as I did three weeks ago when I had to take him away.
 It is true also that my impending move is emotional, partly because I grew up in this house and partly because I feel the move will take me that much further from the familiarity of my past everday life that I had with Spooky.  Some people purposely don't look at pictures of their lost pet because of fear of more pain.  I actually feel better looking at Spooky's pictures, and Copperpot, I think you also feel better looking at and posting pictures of sweet precious Chester!

Two things happened recently which made me take pause.  One, I was looking at a devotional book for women at Walgreens.  I opened the book to a random page, and happened to open to a page about grieving for pets.  I felt it was a sign from God that He understands my pain.  The second thing was, I walked into a Petco store just to look at the cats up for adoption.  I'm not ready for any now, but just wanted to look at them.  One of them was being held by a girl who worked there, and she was petting a gorgeous tabby.  The tabby's name was Karenina.  I said what are the odds.  My mother's name was Nina, and her cousin's name is Karen.  I told the girl about Spooky, and said it was like a sign or something because of the cat's name in relation to my family.  I said although I am looking, I am not ready to adopt yet.  She said the cat was already adopted out anyway and the new "parents" were already in the store.  I later told a friend about this and she felt like it was a sign from my mother, telling me Spooky is ok and is with her.  My mother absolutely adored cats.  We had cats the whole time I was growing up at home.  Who knows?  Anything is possible!

Marj, some names I had for Spooky I used on a regular basis, and some just on occasion.  I never really called him Spooky; I mostly used those other cutey names. :)

~ Mia ~

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Dear Friends,

I thank each of you for hanging tough with me, and for your kind words.  My heart goes out to each of you, and I will be thinking and praying for us all.  God is good.  We are going to be all right in time.  We must, and so we will (doesn't feel like it one bit some days, dies it?!).   

I'm going to be off for a while, because my first cataract surgery is at 7:45 in the morning.  My primary physician told me that I'm going to need to be very still during this surgery (he's thinking my injured SI joint, etc.).  That's a particular prayer request, all right? ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Warm hugs to all,

Carrie

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You've got it, dear Carrie.  I wish you well with your surgery as well as recovery from your other injury.  Going to miss you here, but from what I understand, recovery from the cataract surgery shouldn't be long.  

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Carrie, I just saw this about your surgery. Although it is after the fact, I will pray about it. I hope everything went very well. My mom had cataract surgery last year & has done extremely well with her new lens. :-)

mia- i think its so cool that God chose to comfort you in those ways. I know He speaks to us in our time of deep grief. Giving us just the encouragement we need. It is so true, God is good! He has given me encouragement in so many ways. Especially in this site.  Meeting all of you and being able to share. I am so thankful for it! 

 

 

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Thanks, dear friends.  I posted on Anne's thread Changes I'm Making under Living With Loss regarding my surgery, so I won't repeat here.  

I came here just now to say, Here we go again.  Beauregard has been losing ground since before Callie died,  but he became worse with time afterward.  

Jerry came to tell me a few minutes ago, "Beau is one sick little boy."  He used his iPad so I can see him and the room.  Today, he has black diarrhea, is vomiting, and doesn't want to get out of his bed.  He has had a round raised place on his side for a few days, but may be totally unrelated.   

Amberly is is on her way home to get him to take him to the vet (neither of ours is working today).  She will need to go back to finish her work afterward.  

Surely, we aren't about to lose our last baby.  I'm probably just feeling panicky because of losing our two girls already this year.  I'm an anxious Doxie mama right now.  Maybe we will know something soon.  I'm sure they'll draw his blood today.  I'm not sure we will get the results even tomorrow, considering we live in an area where they have to pump in sunshine.   Maybe they'll give him a bolus, as they did when he got dehydrated a few years ago.  Perked him right up.  I'm hopeful.

Carrie

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Good morning to all,

We just got a call from the vet regarding labs.  Beauregard has severe pancreatitis.  Enzymes 2.5 times normal.  His kidney enzymes are elevated, but likely due to pancreas, rather than kidney disease.  Cannot tell for sure yet.  Vet says that he might die.  She says that he must be treated aggressively, if to be saved.  Severe pain and nausea.    

Amberly just took him back to the vet for a shot for nausea.   She requested they give him a bolus of water this morning, which they will do.  She also requested X-rays, and they agreed to do a series.  She said that she is going to give it a good fight, because although he's very sick, pancreatitis is fightable.  

Carrie

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I'm really sorry to hear the Beau is so ill.   Hope you can continue his quality of life.

prayers for you all.

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Hi, All, 

Beauregard is much more alert today, and not continually groaning, so he just might make it.  He's far from being out of the woods, but his eyes look normal.  I see light and a will to live today.  There was no light or will to live yesterday.  He doesn't have the labored breathing as he had yesterday.  He's can get into his potty box, but just wants to lie still otherwise.  When he begins groaning, Amberly repositions him, and he stops groaning for a little while.  

Amberly is giving him boluses, held his food for 24 hours, and has him on Flagyl (antibiotic).  She's held him day and night since Friday afternoon when she came home to take him to the vet.  Prayerfully, we've caught the pancreatitis in time to save him.  His kidney enzymes will go down likely, if we did.  Kidney disease often starts after a bout of pancreatitis.  Doxies are prone to have both.  It seems we can't get away from KD!  

Amberly did put Beauregard in his bed long enough to cook lasagna for Jerry.  Today is Jerry's  79th birthday.  Amberly ordered a chocolate cake for him.  He would brag on my cake if I baked one, although it would look like it was baked by a small child, and have the texture of rubber.  It's better to spare us both, and just and call the bakery.  

After Amberlys lasagna and green bean casserole run out this  coming week, I guess I can refer to my "Best Foods" board on Pinterest for inspiration. :)

Carrie

 

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If one can live due to your vigilant care and love, Beauregard will!

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Carrie, I am so sorry to read about what you have been going through with your health, and now to read about what is going on with your beloved Beauregard!  I will be praying for you as well as for Beauregard as I am sure all the rest of you are. I know Carrie that out of your overwhelming love for him you are doing everything possible for him!  I truly hope that things will improve for Beauregard!

I am still trying to cope with losing my sweet Spooky.  Saturday was already four weeks since losing him.  On one hand the time seems like it went by so quickly but on the other hand it seems like so long ago.  I feel torn because if I clearly visualize him as if he was still here in order to in some way keep him close, I fall apart and feel the grief fresh all over again.  But if I try not to do that in order not to feel the pain, I feel like he is drifting further and further away, and that in itself still causes pain anyway.  I still haven't gotten to the point yet where I can think of him and smile because every time I think of him I still cry.  When missing him becomes overwhelming, I just cry and cry and cry.  I do hope each bout of crying I go through will lead me to a place where I can feel less pain so I can get to the point of thinking of him with loving fond memories instead of this sorrow I still feel.

I am so grateful that I have you wonderful people to talk to, knowing that each and every one of you completely understands exactly what I am feeling.  God Bless You all!

~ Mia ~

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Hi Mia,

I still have tears at 3 months today of losing my precious Gb.   

And I have lots of smiles because I adopted 2 kittens (4months and 7months) from the Humane Society on Monday.  Just to read their medical history it is a wonder little Shamus survived to be my guy.  Amazing the treatments given to him.

Hugs and prayers for you - and a special thought to Spooky Angel 

Marj

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Marj, I'm glad they're bringing smiles.

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Dear friends,

Beauregard is not doing well at all.  We were told yesterday (I think yesterday; my days are getting confused) that he has CHF, as well as pancreatitis and acute kidney disease (treatable).  Late today, the vet called to say that the radiologist says there is no CHF, but there is something in his peritoneum near his kidneys, but not in them.  The vet wants to do an ultrasound.  

About 3 this morning Beauregard went into complete kidney failure, Amberly said (he's sleeping with her).  He was panting while in his potty box for 15 minutes before he could urinate.  He has not urinated all day.  He ate breakfast, but has refused food the rest of the day.  

Amberly is supposed to work ER tomorrow, but she's staying here with our baby and her Mama and Daddy.  We need to be together this weekend.  

Two young vets have offered to come here tomorrow, if we need them.  Prayerfully, we will not. If we need someone here, we really need an experienced vet. 

It was just last month that we lost Callie, and last October, we lost Ashely.  

I'm told that it's not a good idea for me to cry just a week after cataract surgery.  I can tell my eyes this, but I don't think my heart is listening.  I'm doing my best to shove the grief down.  

 You guys please pray us through this ~ again.  I love each of you for it.  We will all hold each other up.  Some of you are in as much emotional pain as we are.  I always pray for you also ~ every morning.  

Going to check on the boy again.

Hugs,

Carrie

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Dear Carrie,

Please know that we are all holding you in our hearts and sending prayers for your dear Beauregard. I cannot imagine how much pain this is causing you, Jerry and Amberly. 

I do hope you are resting and doing all that you need to do after your eye surgery. 

Anne

 

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Carrie,

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.  I hope things turn around for Beauregard.  You've been thru so much already.

Are you planning on having the ultrasound done?  It's so hard to know what to do sometimes.

Mary

 

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