TCHusband Posted September 29, 2015 Report Share Posted September 29, 2015 Hello, My wife passed away last saturday. She died in her sleep. We are only 47. She was much too young. My emotions are all over the place. I can't do anything we did. we were really close, did everything together. Friends want to help. But I don't want to talk. I know she is in a better place, and happy. But she was with me for 22 years everyday. We talked everyday. It's so silent. I can't imagine this getting easier. I;m sad, angry and happy for her. ThanksJim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 29, 2015 Report Share Posted September 29, 2015 (edited) Jim,I am so sorry for your loss. 47 is so very young. It sounds like you had a relationship much like my wife and I did. The kind that most people will never know. It will be two months tomorrow since my wife died after a horrible battle with lung cancer. I just returned from a Hospice of the Valley Bereavement Support Group where one of the gals described grief as temporary insanity. I guess what I'm trying to say is you're in for a rough go here. Understand that your emotions will be all over the place for a long time. You have suffered a devasting blow at far too early in your life. From what I hear it does get maybe not better but more manageable.I hate the silence too. Edited September 29, 2015 by Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debi.williams Posted September 29, 2015 Report Share Posted September 29, 2015 Dear Jim, I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. You must be absolutely devastated. 47 is way too young and it sounds as though she hadn't been ill. I lost my husband very suddenly just over 8 weeks ago and he was 49. I am still in shock mode and my brain is foggy and unable to truly accept he has gone. All the emotions you are feeling are normal for us human beings left behind to grieve. I also understand you not wanting to talk because it is exhausting and it will take a long time to even process what has happened you will be in deep shock. I find very little comfort personally anywhere, but I do here because everyone understands and is so incredibly kind and supportive. Writing rather than talking helps me so maybe you are the same. Please visit this forum whenever you are at your lowest - which sadly will be most of the time at the moment - and you will always find a listening ear. My thoughts are with you Jim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCHusband Posted September 29, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2015 This is amazing. You think nobody goes through what you are going through . I'm also sorry for your loss Brad and Debi. I feel lucky in some ways. My wife and are very spiritual. We believe in angels, and parallel planes to our universe, etc. So we have a couple of close friends that are mediums. A few days after her death, she called me said Teresa is trying to communicate with you. She won't leave me alone. And a couple of strange things happened days after. I spent 3 and 1/2 hours talking with Teresa through Lindsey. I now know she is happy and healthy. Watching over me and my grand children and daughter. She told me that that she is good. Don't be sad. She even explained to me what was going on with the paramedics, and I haven't told any one that. We have our wedding song that I was not going to put in her memorial video, an she told me she wants it in. After that phone call I was at peace. I know what she went thought when she died, and now she is so happy. And she wants me to buy a big pick up truck, and be free, and move on. We were suppose to pick up a minivan we bought that following week.I thank God that I had that. It doesn't make missing here any easier, but to know she is happy. That was my goal in her life. I pary that each of you will find that kind of peace in your grief. I'm going to send you a link to a video for her at her celebration of life party. She didn't want a funeral where everybody cried.. So we had a huge party at a local bar. It was tough, but wonderful. The the drinking helped. I hope this video will show you what a special person she was, an angel here on earth. Thanks again for the lovely support. -Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted September 29, 2015 Report Share Posted September 29, 2015 I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Teresa. Thank you for sharing your beautiful video, I just loved all the smiles, Jim. It really touched my heart and I'm so glad you shared it with us. We are here for you.Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 29, 2015 Report Share Posted September 29, 2015 Beautiful, Jim. Thank you for sharing your precious Teresa with all of us. Your video is heartwarming, and certainly does capture your beloved's sparkling and loving personality. I am so very sorry for your loss ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debi.williams Posted September 29, 2015 Report Share Posted September 29, 2015 Thank you so much for that Jim. The love and light shines out of your beautiful Teresa. Your story about speaking with Teresa via the medium is remarkable and I am so happy that it gave you such peace. I am still waiting for a sign from my beloved husband - we both firmly believed in the after life - but I am sure it will come and I pray my son and I can find the peace in knowing he is okay. I am so sorry for the loss of your lovely angel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 29, 2015 Report Share Posted September 29, 2015 Jim,Welcome here. I am so sorry you lost your beautiful wife. Thank you for sharing the video with us, it is very special and I think you both had the right idea. We will be here to walk with you on your grief journey if you want us to, we've all been there. The details differ as our journeys are all unique but we have enough common things we go through to be able to relate to each other.You're right, the missing them goes on...it's been ten years for me and I still miss my George. Life is never the same, but I have gotten better at dealing with it and am more used to being alone, it took a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harleyquinn Posted September 29, 2015 Report Share Posted September 29, 2015 I spent 3 and 1/2 hours talking with Teresa through Lindsey. I now know she is happy and healthy. Watching over me and my grand children and daughter. She told me that that she is good. Don't be sad. She even explained to me what was going on with the paramedics, and I haven't told any one that. I am so sorry for your loss... but what a gift that is to know she is ok, happy and healthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 29, 2015 Report Share Posted September 29, 2015 Deedo left me a letter and among other things she encouraged me to look for the signs she would be sending my way and to be open to them. So far, try as I might, I'm not picking up on much. I'm terrified it's because of my pragmatic nature. But I want so badly to feel that she is okay and we will be together again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCHusband Posted September 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Thank you so much for the encouraging words. Tommor I thkn I will look into grief counseling. Has any found any benefit to that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 It's highly recommended. This grief journey is so hard to travail without the guidance of a grief counselor!Brad, I haven't had any overt signs like some here have had (I'm also pragmatic) but I got a rainbow when I needed one (when George died there was a tremendous thunder & lightening storm with a triple rainbow, you might say he went out with a big bang!) and I have felt his comfort and encouragement when I lost my job (all three times) or went through other hard places. It's hard to explain, but I feel his presence inside of me, not like some that have felt a physical touch, but perhaps a more subtle sense of his everlasting effect on me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Jim any kind of Grief counseling or EAP referrals are "enlightening"..but as everyone here shares, this process is a roller coaster and you will question your own sanity on occasion......I personally found benefit in counseling, if only for them to reaffirm I wasn't crazy........They do emphasize not to make big changes for a year, watch your own health, don't keep your emotions bottled in(nothing wrong with a good cry).....they have write ups on all this...it helps.............I'm only about 10 weeks into this process, and at least now, I think I know what I'm in for.....Prayers for you......kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debi.williams Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Jim, I thought for some reason I could 'manage' my grief - which just goes to show how crazy the death of my beloved husband has made me - but I am waving the white flag now in terms of counseling. The pain is too deep so I have my first session on Monday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCHusband Posted September 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Good for you Debi! I think your husband would have wanted that. I was looking at pictures on Teresa FB page. She always posted positive affirmations on her wall. The ones I found were "move on". Life is too short. Ect. My friend talked to me last night and hasn't heard Teresa in the last few days. Which means she probably went to the light. And now she's an angel made of 100 percent love. Im going to see someone. I feel she would have wanted me to move on. They don't know grief in heaven just joy and love. So I owe it to her and myself to get my head straight. Just because you miss them doesn't me you can't be happy. Just because you cry over them doesn't mean your not moving on. Your just being human. I'm sure my tears in the next few months will fill a gallon bucket of salt. But we all should be blessed we have had angels on earth as our mate. I thank you for keeping in touch. This is a great group. God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 You might find this article helpful, Jim. See especially some of the Related Articles listed at the base: Finding Grief Support That Is Right For You ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debi.williams Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Jim everything you say is so true. We have to learn to live without our loved one:s physically which is very hard but is unfortunately a fact. I am sure you will hear from Teresa soon, she is probably very busy settling into heaven and will be back in touch when she has formulated her plan of support for you all. I love her positive affirmations, what a wonderful woman she is. The tears are tears of a life well loved and depsite the overwhelming pain, I wouldn't have missed one moment with my wonderful man. As I've said before, some people wait their whole life time to experience such love and never find it. How fortunate we all are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Good for you, Debi! I hope you get the right counselor for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debi.williams Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Thank you Kayc. I can't manage the grief without at least trying to get professional help for my son's sake, I realise that now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now