Froggie4635 Posted October 5, 2015 Report Share Posted October 5, 2015 I am feeling ALL SORTS of emotions and feelings at this moment. I arranged to go and apply for my learner' s permit...something I knew would take most of the day. Got there just after 7:30 am. Already had my paperwork filled out (although as it appears, not completely). I did not realize how tense I was. Watched the clock, and waited until after 11:30 am. Finally got called, stepped up to the counter and handed my paperwork and identification. Well, left out a bunch of info on form; then gave proof of residence items...they weren't proper and correct. I had NOTHING else that would work and I left in tears. Not just tears, but sobbing. I am angry for not checking closer to requirements, feeling stupid, like I failed myself...and missing Mark and upset he wasn't with me...and hating that I had to breakdown in front of strangers and my mother-in-law. Someone wanted to comfort me by saying Mark was in a better place. BASKET CASE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harleyquinn Posted October 5, 2015 Report Share Posted October 5, 2015 I'm sorry =( Sending you virtual hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kpl48 Posted October 5, 2015 Report Share Posted October 5, 2015 Doing new things is stressful for me. I'm sorry you had such difficulty this morning. I know you will try again. Kristine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted October 5, 2015 Report Share Posted October 5, 2015 I'm so sorry Marianne. It is like learning to walk all over again. We all understand your tears and your frustration. I'm sorry you had to also hear that out-of the place remark about the better place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 5, 2015 Report Share Posted October 5, 2015 Maryann, my dear, my heart reaches out to you, and I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please know that we all do understand, as I'm sure that most of us (if not all) have been in similar situations. (Having relocated to a different state last year, I had to apply for a driver's license in Florida and, like you, I waited for hours to get to the counter, only to be told that I didn't have all the necessary documentation. I simply could not believe that so many different documents were required to prove that I am who I say I am. Like you, I'd failed to check closely enough to see what would be required, and I was totally unprepared. Hours spent, all for nothing. Feeling like a failure. Furious with myself, and furious with "the system." Furious at having to find and take the time to go back and do it all over again.) That you were hit with another of those insensitive comments when you were feeling so awful already ~ Well, I think I would have broken down in front of all those people, too. As Anne would say, I hope you find some chocolate and treat yourself to a gigantic hot fudge sundae (or whatever other comfort suits your fancy). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 5, 2015 Report Share Posted October 5, 2015 I always answered the "better place" remark with and incredulous, "Better than with ME???"! Hoping they'd get what an inappropriate remark it is.I'm sorry it took so many hours and all for naught, I hope it all goes without a hitch next time.Bureaucrasies! I just got through deal with my health insurance, who wants me to re-enroll, but their insurance went up 20% and I can't afford it even with the Obamacare supplement, am not sure what I'm going to do. The insurance company acted annoyed with me but I can't re-up until I know how much we're talking about so I left it open-ended and will have to wait for the enrollment period and go through the Federal Exchange. Funny how they can require something you can't afford. I haven't been to the doctor all year because I can't afford it and I have a high deductible...which has gone up astronomically for next year. God help us all with our government! I have never had to wait in line four hours at a DMV, they should serve lunch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Froggie4635 Posted October 5, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2015 Kay,Be careful you do not get penalized for not having coverage, even for a few months. We got penalized last tax year because Mark was not covered; was same thing, couldn't afford it, even with the supplement. By chance, I received an exempt for the penalty, which was almost $400. I wonder if there is this much red tape when someone wants to buy a gun. I think I can go back tomorrow and not have to wait another 4 hours. I just thought I was getting so much better...but have had at least three breakdowns while on my time off. I did not even give myself a chance to get MAD at the time wasted. I just wanted to run...to get away from the whole situation. I remember what I went through when I changed my name after I got married. I want to complete what I started, and will go back tomorrow. It is my final day off, and want to go back to work feeling like I accomplished something. I have calmed down some, but now feel exhausted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the bureaucracy won't.Hyman Rickover Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 Don't ever beat yourself up over paperwork re-do's.....I am on the Canada Pension Plan Black List because of my three do overs and Certified Death Certificates........I make my lists everyday now and have the Paperwork top of the list. Your drivers permit application will be a snap tomorrow because you have gained experience .....My wife used to say...Don't sweat the small stuff. Sun will shine(somewhere tomorrow)...and this will be a distant inconvenience........good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 My Obamacare insurance is still messed up from the beginning of the year. First they issued me the wrong policy. It took three weeks to find out from the insurance company/ I called and cancelled but they never got it corrected. Then my wife died and the bureaucrat in their infinite wisdom cancelled the policy so there was no record of us having insurance. after calling very week for two months to no avail. I just gave up. I started calling again and get the same run around. I need to compile all of my notes and 20 hours or phone calls.and contact my congressman. I just don't have the motivation to do it. I've already got the letter warning me about a new season for Obamacare. There is so much uncertainty about cost, policy and benefits. It's the LAW, we have to comply even though we can't afford it. and we don't know what the hidden tax at the end of the year surprise will be. I'm still listed as family coverage??? Just another sore reminder of my wife dying this year. This too, somehow, eventually will pass! Shalom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 I am not quite a basket case, but headed that way. For the first time in my 68 years, I have had to ask for Community Assistance. I DO NOT like to grovel.Since the death of my husband and daughter, my finances have dwindled to almost nothing. My monthly bills outweigh my SS check. My house payment is half of that check. I can no longer afford everything and am at a loss. In Arizona, there is a program called "Save Our Home Arizona" which works with the FHA? to assist low income persons with house payments. I applied online and brought all the required documents to a counselor today. Of course, there were additional documents I needed. My printer ran out of ink this evening as I was copying those documents. So I will try and complete that project tomorrow. It is a long(90 days+) process to complete to see if I even qualify. After I left the meeting today, I lost another piece of my heart. I sold one set of my wedding rings. I kept my original rings. Ron purchased the newer set for me about 10 years ago. I think he would want me to keep the originals. As the weather has cooled to a more tolerable temperature, my son & I will start our yard sales again. There's not a lot left now that anyone would want, but every dime helps. It's not that I'm so in love with this old house, but where will I go at my age with an emotionally troubled grandson who can't work, a big dog, and 40+ years of stuff. All of this is just another added stress to my injured soul.I am fortunate that I have Medicare and my supplement premium is paid for by my employer of 40 years, so I don't have that worry.Sorry for the rant. Sometimes it is all too much.Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debi.williams Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 What a world we live in. Honestly! On top of our debilitating grief we are faced with mountains of paperwork. I guess it gives people jobs but even so. It is like the 'system ' of each country is designed to be as complex as possible when will humans understand that life is complex enough without creating more tangled webs. Here in Belgium you HAVE to pay 22% of your income in social security and a minimum of 40% in federal taxes. It doesn't matter if you earn nothing. You have to pay the minimum which is $840 per trimester, if you work it is much more of course. Karen, you are NOT grovelling. There is no such thing as government money there is only the people's money that governments spend like water on bailing out banks and their own fat salaries. You DESERVE help. I for one pay my taxes hoping that some of that will go to help people in REAL need and not to corruption. I WANT to think that the majority of my taxes go to people struggling through no fault of their own, to the disabled, to those who have lost their jobs and income, to war vets, the terminally ill and their families....etcLike you, I pay 50% of my income in rent on our house but I cannot move just yet. i simply don't have the strength,emotional or physical,and the upheaval would be too much for my son. I am rapidly going through my savings (it has only been 9 weeks since my husband passed) and the little he had in his bank account is frozen. I wake up at night panicking. You and I have others dependent on us (your grandson and my son)that is much harder.Rant away. You are entitled to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 Thank you Debi, for understanding. It is horrible that people have to pay taxes beyond their means, & especially for those with no income.I must remember that there are many who are worse off than I am. I guess I am just frightened of the unknown. I can totally understand you're not wanting to consider a move at this time. At 9 weeks, I was probably barely breathing & not responsible for anyone but myself. My heart goes out to you and Max as you struggle with what has happened.Your memory of your last day together brought tears to my eyes. I will also remember the last day with my husband and daughter for all time. I imagine each of us will. Take care,Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debi.williams Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 Dear Karen, I wish I could reach out to you through this thing we call the Internet and hold your hand. Fear is a huge part of grief and we are walking on uncharted territory you and I and we are walking ostensibly alone. It is at times like these that the systems we and our families have paid so much into should be there to help...well I can dream can't I Karen?!!The only thing that gives me hope is that many have walked this path and survived and we will too Karen. I simply cannot imagine the pain of your loss. My lovely Mom always used to say to me that 'God never gives you more than you can bear' sometimes though I wonder. Big hug Karen x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 George,There isn't supposed to be a tax on the obamacare supplement, at least that's what they told me and what I've found from the tax experts on the internet. Maryann,I don't plan on going without insurance, even if I have to run up a visa. I have two more years until I can get Medicare, and I can't wait! I just have to hang in there in the meantime...it's one of those things you can't afford but can't afford NOT to have either! They have us in a hard place. Meanwhile, insurance has skyrocketed since they started all this and I'm told that even if it was abolished, the rates would never go down. They said my portion with increase 500% this year! Unbelievable.George, yes the bureaucracy we have to muddle through is unbelievable and when grieving it seems impossible.Debi, I don't see how you make ends meet. When I get paid, I pay my bills and there is literally nothing left for gas and groceries, yet I don't qualify for helps. If I didn't have a house payment I'd be okay. My home is upsidedown so I couldn't sell it if I wanted to, and because it's an old mobile home, banks wouldn't loan someone money to buy it anyway, plus it'd never pass inspection, it'd need torn down along with the garage and a new well foundation & home, garage put on it, none of which I have money for. So I tough it out and keep making payments. Sometimes it feels there's no way out.Karen,I'm sorry you had to sell your wedding rings, but glad you kept the original. These are the choices we're forced to make that seem really tough to have to do. I wish I could give you a hug! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Froggie4635 Posted October 6, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 It's official...I now have my permit. People really have no idea what a hurdle this is for me. I know that Mark is jumping and dancing and so proud of me. My life will never move forward until I find my complete independence. It is a REALLY scary road, but I will make it. Thinking of him smiling helps me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 HOORAY FOR YOU, MARYANN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 Congratulations Maryann! Just making it through the maze of paperwork is noteworthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kpl48 Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 Congratulations! What a victory for you. Kristine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted October 7, 2015 Report Share Posted October 7, 2015 MaryAnn, congratulations , what a difference 24 hours brings. You should be proud of this quick 24 hour turnaround, its a cornerstone of the new you........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 8, 2015 Report Share Posted October 8, 2015 Congratulations! No easy feat, and you did it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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