Another Birthday, Another Year

[debi.williams]

Today 10/10/2015 would have been my Mom's 84th Birthday. Mom died very suddenly last year May 17th 2014, seemingly in good health. Her friend found her on the floor of her bedroom, we don't know if s was asthma or her heart. The post mortem said it was her heart but owing to asthma medications being found on her bed, I think it was asthma but we'll never know now. I just hope it was quick and without panic. 

Mom was a loving, wonderful and very beautiful woman. I am an only child and was the center of her world, that is until I had my only child Max! Then he became her all. They were very close and they were never far from each other's sides. Mom travelled from UK to Brussels to live with us for 3 months at a time as we were all she had in terms of family, my father having died very suddenly at the age of 66 years the very year Max was born. He didn't know about the pregnancy and that is of eternal sadness to me. So for 6 months of every year (3 months in Belgium, then 3 months in UK with her friend) Mom lived with us. She was very close to my beloved husband too  who had lost his own Mom when he was a boy of 6 years in a traffic accident. Mom lived for just 17 more days after we said goodbye to her and put her on a plane to UK.

When Mom died the devastation was beyond belief for all of us. My husband was remarkable. He was my rock and my strength although he was hurting terribly too. Up until the day he died very suddenly - as most of you know - on August 1st 2015 - we were talking about mom and he would try and cheer me with memories of the good times we have had. Then when my husband passed the shock pushed all the grief I was not even one inch through managing, about Mom, to one side. Since then I have just been a ball of grief really without any adult family member to turn to, reminisce with or lean on. 

You see, my Mom was the keeper of the memories of my childhood and my husband was the keeper of so many memories of Mom.  Both were the keepers of my life and Max's life. Both had been present at his birth. Without them I am worried that so many memories will become hazy and lost. I have also felt that the death of my husband has pushed my Mom out of sight for a while. I have found it almost impossible to grieve them both at the same time without going, quite literally crazy.

Mom has, however sent many many messages and signs since her passing to both myself, Max and my husband. My husband heard her speak to him and Max and I both saw her spirit body. We have had her perfume, a coin and small monetary gifts as well as cosmetics! None of these are fabricated, or wishful thinking and none exaggerated. They simply happened.

Last night I was watching clips of the medium John Edward on You Tube. I had gotten quite engrossed in it and hadn't realised the time which was almost  midnight. I was disturbed by a telephone ringing - bear in mind how late this was and that no one I know, unless it was an emergency, would call at that time. It was not my cell phone but a ring tone I didn't recognise. I realised (after seriously looking around for the source for a moment) it was coming from my landline but the ring tone was different. We have had the same ring tone on our landline since we bought it maybe 10 years ago. The phone kept ringing (by this time about 10-12 rings)and didn't do what it normally did which was to click onto the answering machine. 

Anyway I picked it up really puzzled and for a nanosecond there was someone there and then it went dead. Not dead like someone had disconnected it but just dead like there was no one there. I stood staring at it for a minute or so hoping it would ring again and trying to figure it out but nothing further. So I went to my cell phone and called the landline number. Sure enough, the usual (10 year) ring tone played and the phone clicked onto the answer machine after 3 rings. Go figure.

Anyway Mom if it as you - you would have needed my husband's help as you were never very good at using telephones - Happy Birthday! I will never forget X

[Guest]

Happy Birthday Debi's mom.  Mom's do make wonderful memory keepers.  My Deedo left behind tubs of cards, gifts, school projects that each of the kids had given to her over the years.  Lots of laughter and tears in those tubs.

[scba]

Beautiful piece, Debi. Happy bday to your mum. I'm sure she was involved in the telephone episode.

 

[kayc]

[debi.williams]

Dear Brad, Scba and Kayc, Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts. They mean a lot when you feel so alone x