stik40 Posted February 2, 2006 Report Share Posted February 2, 2006 Hello once again, I wish to send my heartfelt wishes to everyone here that the holiday coming up (14th feb)is brief and as painless as one might expect during our time of grief.I would like to kno if any of you out there think I'm about to make a mistake.(little background first)I'm about to have my 40th birthday on feb 13th.... carol had planned a surprise party for me... as some of you kno I lost carol on nov.16th...cremation was her wish and her plaque had taken untill jan 27th to arrive,I decided that I would have the inurnment on my birthday as she so very much hated the fact she would not be here for it.well to say my friends ( and they are )got alittle upset with me about this would be understatment...they feel that i would ruin the rest of my birthdays..I do not feel this way and besides.. this is what i want, this is what she wanted,we would lay in bed on those rare days that we both could and talk about getting older together how we sit on our deck and watch the night sky,anyway you get the idea... the problem i;m having rite now is i now feel like i'v done soemthing terrible . it does not matter really as i already set the date and time and i will not change it.. i just wanted to kno if maybe i am being selfish and wanting to do this (inurnment)and say farewell to my sweet babers..am i goin to far? we talked and laughed so many times over the fact that i was now goin to be in her age group (she was 41)it had made her day ..lol..I used to call her my cougar and she said i was her cougar bait...gawd darn i ache so bad.. i miss everything , our life our home ...the pressure i;m getting is from my male friends,i think they wanted to have a happy time at my 40th.. i suppose i cant blame them on one hand.. but on the other hand i'm not into anything that involves any kind of celebration other than celebrating babers life...I lived for her and now I don't want too.. but I also kno that I must.... to do less would be an insult on her memmorie...advice anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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