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I was one when my dad was diagnosed with mulitiple sclerosis, before that when i was newborn my dad loved to walk and would take me every where. i grew up thinking that my dad was no different to any other except that he was in a wheel chair. My dad's Ms did not effect him that much and as my mum went out to work he took on the role as carrer to me and my little brother and house husband. When i was 18 in 6th form at school ( i was 18) i decided to find out about MS and saw that the average life expectancey of someone with MS was around 20 years from diagnosis, by that time my dad had had it for 17 years i put it out of my head and tried to carry on. I thought about the possitives, my dad was always at home and we spent alot of time with him, he became one of my best friends, even though i moved away to go to university we would phone all the time and talked about our favourite soaps. I felt very lucky because when ever i would go home i would prefer to spend time with my mum and dad than my friends as my mum and dad are my best friends in the world. 2 years ago my little brother moved in with his girlfriend an 15 monthes ago my neice was born dad was over joyed to be a grandfather and doted on shannon. I gratuated from university with a physics degree and my dad said he was so proud of me.

One month ago my second neice was born, and we went to visit dad and mum. From a family of 4 we were know a family of 8.My brother had his family and i was living with my boyfriend, my mum and dad said they were glad that we had partners who they thought of as part of the family. i am 23 at the moment and on the 3.11.03 i came home from work and there was a phone call that my dad had died. He was only 51.I saw he the week before and the thought of what would i do if he died crossed my mind, i got rid of it quickly and just made sure i gave him lots of cuddles.

dad had a massive heart attack when the plumber was around. It's been 2 weeks and i feel confused, sometimes i feel happy and want to celebrate how wondiful i thought he was, i know i made him proud and i have no regretts about things i should off or shouldn't of done. Other times i feel as if he is comeing back and is just on holiday and will tell me this is a joke, then i releise how long i will have to live without him and it hurts. My mum is on her own and the house is now empty. I feel him every where but i can't touch him. I loved my dad so much and i have very good memories, i am scared i will forget what he smells like or feel like.

I'm sorry my story is so long

Emma

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Dear Emma,

I understand. There is something very special about the relationship you had with your Dad. Treasure all of your memories and share them with the rest of your family. I lost my Dad Nov 13, 2001. We had a very strange relationship, I did not see him until I was 21. When he died I accepted the fact that we would never have a true father/daughter relationship. I am so glad that you had your father with you everday. I always wanted to know what that felt like. Thank you for sharing your Dad with me. It has been two years and I haven't forgot what my Dad looked like the last time I saw him. My Dad died from cancer and had lost a lot of weight. I prefer to look at his pictures to remember the true man that was my Dad.

I lost my sister to cancer on Nov 5, 2003. She spared us the pain that she was suffering. She was in a hospice program for six days before she died. My love for her is still growing because she loved me so much that she did not tell me how much pain she was in until the very end. She is in God's care with our other loved ones who went before. I believe that I will see her again.

Be true to your feelings and let the time pass as you heal. Don't worry about forgetting. Do not feel guilty on the days that you don't think about your father. His life will always be a part of you.

Infenitr in St. Louis

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  • 1 month later...

Hi, my name is Natalie and i am 22, i lost my mom to breast cancer/lung cancer, 3 months ago. i can totally relate to what you where saying about how you just pushed it out of your mind and kept going, i did the same thing for the last 8 years. my mom was sick since i was 13 and i never liked to think about the fact that she was going to die. i am in college and my mom was proud of me too, i am currently a chemistry major, but it could change, i know that your dad was proud of you, from how you talk about him he reminds me of my mom. We used to watch lifetime movies and veg out all day, just me and her. she was my best friend. I took my mom's purse and put it under my bead because i wanted to be able to smell her, i can still remember everything very clearly, but it has only been 3 months. At the funeral we had a viewing, and i had to do her makeup because the people didn't do it good enough. i couldn't eat all day because i could smell the formaldyhyde on my hands. I had a boyfriend at the time, and i thought that he would be there for me , we were together for 3 1/2 years. but he broke up with me 1 week after the funeral. i miss him and my mom. i am sorry to just pour all of this on you, but i just finally feel like someone understands what i went through. i would love to talk to you more, here or via e-mail, if you would, i just need a friend. my e-mail is Natheldreth@aol.com i hope that you are doing well, God Bless you and your family. natalie.

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