Guest Posted November 23, 2015 Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 Last night, I had the distinct honor of attending Hospice of the Valley's Light Up A Life event. It is a ceremony honoring those who have passed away. Two large jumbotrons with a collage of photographs set to music. It was humbling to see so much love and compassion. Also had the honor of meeting KATPilot (Steve). He is a truly kind, benevolent mentor who has extended such an empathetic hand to help guide me through this awful process. The event really helped me to understand that as depressed as I am at losing Deedo, at least I was fortunate enough to have been able to spend thirty-seven wonderful years with that amazing lady. So many go through life without ever getting to experience what we had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted November 23, 2015 Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 How wonderful it is to know that you and Steve had an opportunity to meet, and under such beautiful circumstances, Brad. I'm so pleased that you gave this precious gift of remembrance to yourselves. HOV's Light Up A Life is such an awesome and meaningful experience . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Janka Posted November 23, 2015 Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 29 minutes ago, Brad said: Last night, I had the distinct honor of attending Hospice of the Valley's Light Up A Life event. It is a ceremony honoring those who have passed away. Two large jumbotrons with a collage of photographs set to music. It was humbling to see so much love and compassion. Also had the honor of meeting KATPilot (Steve). He is a truly kind, benevolent mentor who has extended such an empathetic hand to help guide me through this awful process. The event really helped me to understand that as depressed as I am at losing Deedo, at least I was fortunate enough to have been able to spend thirty-seven wonderful years with that amazing lady. So many go through life without ever getting to experience what we had. Dear Brad, it´s wonderful!Reading post of you all shows me how much support you all can get where you live.We haven´t many possibilities where I live and I also don´t know any groups here to make it easier for me as well,so I´ve been going through my grief alone since my beloved man died.All the more that I have no close family,only the best friends of mine.I know that I must be strong because of my beloved Jan waiting for me in heaven.I will! Wish you a peace! Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 Janka It must be so very difficult to go through what you are going through. I have been so fortunate to create a support network mostly of others going through what we all are experiencing. I hope your friends can support you. I'm finding those people who have not yet experienced grief struggle to understand what I am experiencing. I do so appreciate your live and devotion to Jan. He must have been a wonderful person. Best wishes as you continue on and may you find even a modicum of peace. Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 KayC......we are getting snowed on again....even the Birds are hunkering down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 (edited) Beautiful picture, what a gift from nature! there aren't grief groups in my town too, and my friends are too young to know how it feels to lose a soulmate to death. I'm alone with all of this, so I am thankful to have found this forum where I can relate, learn, reflect and share without judgment. Edited November 24, 2015 by scba Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 Same here, no groups at all, very small town. But I was very lucky to find someone who has been widowed and explained a lot to me. We are Grief buddies, talk daily......mostly about aches and pains...keeps one grounded and out of the depression(most of the time). Nice to share the Journey with someone who actually understands...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 Brad and Steve, I so remember the first time I went to Hospice of the Valley's Light Up a Life event after my Jim died. It was so healing for me. We are fortunate to be here where HOV does such excellent work with those who are dying and their families. Hey Keven, Sending you lots of sunshine from the valley of the sun here in AZ. I love the picture Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 How pretty! I had snow this morning but it melted, then snowed again, will see what tonight brings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 25, 2015 Report Share Posted November 25, 2015 There aren't grief groups where I live but I've found it worth the 400 mile round trip to go to them in the Valley. But then I'm retired and can always use my Papa Moosie time with my grandkids. Right after Deedo died they were both pretty strong triggers as she had a very strong bond with the five year old and my daughter learned she was pregnant with the 11 month old the same day Deedo was diagnosed with lung cancer. But now the laughs and snuggles are cathartic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 25, 2015 Report Share Posted November 25, 2015 I'm glad, Brad. I wish I could see my granddaughter more. I will have to make the most of it once winter is past and I can go overnight again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted November 25, 2015 Report Share Posted November 25, 2015 I live in a town of just turned 1000 people. We have an amazing senior center, nursing home and beautiful assisted living. But, Louisiana is my home. I went to the senior center right after Billy passed away for a grief group, and they had had one, but I believe the woman that conducted it passed away, but they did have bingo. I came home and found this forum. I have too much to take care of to go play bingo, but certainly sounds entertaining. I am not against it, just cannot do it right now. Headed to Louisiana this morning to be with extended family for a few days. And, my relatives don't serve alcohol at my pity parties, so my mood will have to enjoy my granddaughter, daughter, mother, sister, son, and all their partners. I hope you and yours have a day you can tolerate at this time of the year. I rely on comical movies, Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda on Netflix, although some people don't like them. We just do what we can, when we can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted November 26, 2015 Report Share Posted November 26, 2015 Thanks to Fox 10 News and Danielle Miller for coverage of Hospice of the Valley’s annual Light Up a Life event, which pays tribute to loved ones lost, but always remembered. (And our own dear Brad is featured in the video!) http://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/arizona-news/53304884-story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Janka Posted November 27, 2015 Report Share Posted November 27, 2015 On 24.11.2015 4:55:58, Brad said: Janka It must be so very difficult to go through what you are going through. I have been so fortunate to create a support network mostly of others going through what we all are experiencing. I hope your friends can support you. I'm finding those people who have not yet experienced grief struggle to understand what I am experiencing. I do so appreciate your live and devotion to Jan. He must have been a wonderful person. Best wishes as you continue on and may you find even a modicum of peace. Brad Dear Brad, I really appreciate your kind words telling from the heart!I write this with tears in my eyes,so much it means to me.Do you know the feeling when a powerful surge of grief can overcome yourself so much that you suffer more than before and can´t stop crying though you try to?Sometimes I wonder how can my heart stand so much pain...That´s how I feel after 4 yrs spending without my beloved Jan.He is my life,my breath,my everything!He is a gift of heaven I´m thankful for...for the rest of my days...because then I´ll be in his arms eternally... You´re in my thoughts and wish you a nice evening! Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 28, 2015 Report Share Posted November 28, 2015 Margaret, you mention you don't have time to play Bingo...it's really not about the Bingo, it's about getting out with others and connecting with them and letting yourself have a respite from the...grief, tasks, loneliness. We have a Senior Site here and they play Bingo and eat lunch, and for most of them, it's the highlight of their week. There is a sense of caring among the group and if one's not there, we check on them. People caring about people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Janka Posted November 29, 2015 Report Share Posted November 29, 2015 On 28.11.2015 15:47:38, kayc said: There is a sense of caring among the group and if one's not there, we check on them. People caring about people. Dear Kay, it´s really nice.I miss a group of people who can understand my grief and loneliness,though I´m still young...especially at Christmas...I have friends,but they haven´t experienced the loss of beloved one as I have,so they aren´t alone as I am.Anyhow I´m thankful I have them in my life.They have helped me a lot since my beloved Jan died. I miss him terribly!I´d love to be with him.I love him more than words can say... Hugs and kisses from Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 30, 2015 Report Share Posted November 30, 2015 Sitting in a carwash, Michael Bublé's Softly (I shall leave you softly) playing, tears flowing freely. All I can think is how lucky I was she and me became we for such a long time. Granted it was no where near as long as we had planned; but what wonderful years they were. Never once went to bed angry. Never once failed to kiss each other goodnight, even when separated by distance. She was me and I was her; oneness personified. I have not an idea where my life goes from here but I do know that it will pale drastically compared with the life I've had. Janka- I can't begin to imagine how hard it is to be so young and to have lost so much. Kayc- My grandkids are what keeps me moving forward. They are what makes me smile these days and I sure it's the same with you. I do have one grandson in Texas so FAcetime/Skype serves to keep me familiar to him. Not the same as a good snuggle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Janka Posted November 30, 2015 Report Share Posted November 30, 2015 1 hour ago, Brad said: Sitting in a carwash, Michael Bublé's Softly (I shall leave you softly) playing, tears flowing freely. All I can think is how lucky I was she and me became we for such a long time. Granted it was no where near as long as we had planned; but what wonderful years they were. Never once went to be angry. Never once failed to kiss each other goodnight, even when separated by distance. She was me and I was her; oneness personified. I have not an idea where my life goes from here but I do know that it will pale drastically compared with the life I've had. Janka- I can't begin to imagine how hard it is to be so young and to have lost so much. Oh Brad, I know what you mean...the bigger is the love,the bigger is the pain.I feel as one person with my beloved Jan.One part it´s him and another part it´s me,two hearts beating as one forever.It has been a few years,however those 5 years do mean to me much more than 50 years to someone else.When two do become one as well as we two did,the loss is really devastating.I must stand up each time to move on,but some things don´t ever go back to where they were...My beloved Jan still does mean everything to me and will always do! I´m so sorry for everything you´ve been going through! Send you my sincere hugs... One day we´ll see them again. Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 30, 2015 Report Share Posted November 30, 2015 1 hour ago, Brad said: Never once went to be angry. Never once failed to kiss each other goodnight, even when separated by distance. We never went to bed angry either (although we did get to bed pretty late that one time! haha) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 30, 2015 Report Share Posted November 30, 2015 If truth were to be told we pulled a couple of late nighters too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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