Janice

[Guest]

Just reading about all the snow everyone is having.  It's cold here in North Carolina, but no snow yet.  It's been 6 1/2 months and am still struggling with anxiety/fear every morning through the day.  My doctor prescribed Paxil, but I hear awful things about it, so holding off.  It feels so physical, like a chemical imbalance.  If I could lose the anxiety, I feel like I could get by so much better.  Anyone out there ever been on Paxil?  Has anyone out there struggled with these feelings after 6+ months; feels like foreboding, coming out of your skin, not comfortable or at ease ever.  Hoping it will work itself out.  I wondered about St. John's Wort.  I do yoga, walking, get out, etc.  It just seems so endless.  It's comforting to hear that someone else has experienced something like this, so if anyone has.....Thanks, Janice

[MartyT]

Hi Janice, and welcome ~ although I'm so sorry for the reasons that brought you to this warm and caring site. Your questions are good ones, and I'm sure you'll be hearing from some of our members. In the meantime, I want to offer you some information that may be helpful.

Since you are barely six months from the day your husband died, it is not surprising that you're "still struggling with anxiety/fear." In the normal course of grief, it is around the 6-month mark that the initial shock and numbness of loss begins to wane, and we begin to feel the full force of all that we have lost. This is especially true when the one you've lost is your spouse. After all, the entire life you've built together has suddenly been turned upside down. Is it any wonder that you're feeling anxious and fearful? Besides, grief can make us feel quite "crazy" since it feels so unfamiliar and confusing to us. It's like finding ourselves in an alternate universe where we don't know the terrain or the language. Learning what is normal in grief does help, as does being around others who are experiencing similar losses, because they can act as our companions and guides.

As you become more familiar with our site, you'll find your way to lots of informative material. For starters, I want to address two of your questions, so I invite you to read these articles. As you do so, note that at the base of each are links to many other helpful articles and resources too:

Anxiety Attacks in Grief: Tools for Coping

Using Medication to Manage Grief

Are We Medicating Normal Grief?

Using Herbal Supplements in Grief

[Guest Janka]

Janice,

I´m very sorry for your loss,hoping that you can find much needed comfort,support and understanding in sharing your feelings with all of us going through this grieving as well.We all are here for you.

Please,take care!

Janka

[kayc]

Janice,

I am very sorry for your loss, losing your husband is one of the hardest things one can go through.  Welcome to our site, it's a good safe place to be, to voice what you're going through, and for all of us to journey together.

My sister was on Paxil, although she needed way more.  If your anxiety is only due to grief, I'd hold off, maybe try some of the meditations listed here.  Some of the doctors treat grief like it's a disorder, it's not.  I am on anti-anxiety medicine because I have GAD, started on it years after losing my George but should have been on it way back as I've had anxiety since I was a child, it's genetic in my family. I take Buspirone, the lowest dose, it makes it a little easier to cope, takes the edge off, without masking my feelings or making me feel robotic.  You might check into it, as it's in a class of it's own and is safe.  I haven't had side effects and intend to stay on it for life since mine isn't situational.

[Gwenivere]

13 hours ago, Janice Cox said:

My doctor prescribed Paxil, but I hear awful things about it, so holding off.  It feels so physical, like a chemical imbalance.  If I could lose the anxiety, I feel like I could get by so much better.  Anyone out there ever been on Paxil?  Has anyone out there struggled with these feelings after 6+ months; feels like foreboding, coming out of your skin, not comfortable or at ease ever.  

Janice, I am no doctor, but I did take Paxil for a couple of years.  It was not for me.  I had to switch to a 'kinder' antidepressant for side effects.  I know about anxiety because I have an anxiety disorder and have had for 25 years.  I don't think the SSRI's are that helpful for anxiety.  I take Xanax which works rapidly and doesn't change my personality like I felt Paxil did.  Perhaps trying something that can directly and quickly quell your anxiety is something you could discuss with your doctor as at least a trial period to see if that helps before committing to Paxil.  From the many people I know on antidepressants, Paxil is not one anyone cared for.   There are so many others with a better track record.  All this is said from my experience only.   Many doctors are hesitant about meds like Xanax of Valium or addiction, but they are designed to address anxiety.  Also meds like Paxil have nasty side effect if you miss a a day or want to stop.  Anxiety and panic are very common in grief even in people without a disorder.  And yes, they do complicate all the other emotions we have to deal with on top of that.  I wish you the best on finding something to help you.

[Margm]

Gwen, I agree, the SSRI's do not help the anxiety. Prozac made my congenital tremor worse.  I sometimes wonder if a doctor prescribing a drug has ever tried it.  As said before, I typed medical transcription for 43 years.  It was not unheard of for older people to have 25 prescriptions.  Even at Walmart prices, that is ridiculous.  If they cause nausea, they give something to treat the nausea, and if it causes something they treat that something, right on down the line, when the culprit might be the very first medicine.  We have seen enough disaster in our own life.  I have come to distrust doctors.  I have seen too much.  But, what else do we have.  Our own common sense we cannot trust right now.  We each have something that works for us, and Xanax works for me.  And, I only take it as prescribed.  I would like to be numbed 24 hours a day, but we have to live.  We have to.