Irrational Anger

[Amy Wamy]

No idea where to post it, thought here was as good a place as any on here!! 

So, some of you might be familiar with my story and today I've been thinking about anger. It can be a very dangerous emotion, but for me, I think I have many reasons to be angry. Thing is, at the moment I'm in an argument with my housemate. There's a bill account in his name that we all put money in for our house bills, and he worries about it for no reason. He reminded twice, once during the night and once the morning after, for us to put 'x' amount of money in the account. I explained that we know to put money in, and that the account doesn't have nothing in it. He worries that it might go into overdraft ,(when you go into minus money...the banks money I guess?), but it never has and never will. The argument stemmed from this. I think it's quite silly, and that I've done nothing wrong, but some how I have, somewhere. He said I was giving him grief about it, when I was merely trying to tell him not to worry. I obviously helped this situation as everything takes two people.

I was thinking, maybe I want to be angry at someone. I want there to be a reason to lash out at someone - I'm by no means a violent person at all!! - why would I want that? I feel like I want to just shout and scream about something. Creating arguments from nothing to create that kind of atmosphere seems very bizarre indeed. 

What do I have to be angry about? Losing my Mother...being "abandoned" by my Father...having to leave the place I was happiest...still not having dealt with any of that properly...

What I suppose I'm asking really is, can this anger i seem to have, be related to that? If so, how can it be resolved? What can I do? 

[MartyT]

Amy, my dear, you may find this article helpful, as it contains information about anger as well as what you can do about it: Is Anger One of The Stages in Grief?. Be sure to take a look at some of the Related Articles and Resources I've listed at the base as well. (See especially the free webinar from Open to Hope featuring Dr. Bob Baugher.)

[Amy Wamy]

Thank you, Marty.

That article i was quite helpful! It made lots of sense actually. The legend about the wolves - evil and good - is quite true and rather profound actually. 

Why would this still be anything to do with grief after nearly 9 years?

[hollowheart]

Grief never goes away. That's what society and everyone wants us to believe, that we "move on" and then everything is back to the way it was. In Pleasantville it is that way, but not in the real world. 30 years from now you can still feel some type of way about your loss or other things surrounding it. Sometimes we work through it and get to a place of peace about it and sometimes we don't.

It may take a therapist, someone to really bring up things about your past, your parents past, the situation, a host of things that make you realize what may be wrong. You might still be annoyed about something connected with your grief, and the pettiness of the money and the account thing just tipped you over. I can totally understand that.

[MartyT]

Amy, I really don't know if your reaction to this incident has anything to do with grief. As HH says, it would take some serious, perhaps professionally guided, exploration of what has happened in your distant past. If you want to go there, that is fine. Still, I think we all can analyze this situation till the cows come home, but you're still left with the more important question: Given that you're angry (regardless of the cause), what can you DO with the anger that you're feeling now?