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My Best Friend Was Poisoned

Guest nicole

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i am an american living in thailand. thailand can be a heartbreaking place for pet lovers, as thais really only look at animals as meat or labor. there are thousands of starving, sick dogs roaming the streets and being ignored, or worse, abused. in my particular village, rather than do something to prevent such a population explosion and take care of the dogs there are, the thais prefer to poison them- a long, excruciating death. they poisoned my baby khao a few days ago. i noticed he was sick and hiding under the house, so i carried him in and laid him on the floor where i slept next to him all night, with my arm around him telling him i loved him and everything would be ok. in the morning he seemed better. i had to leave to renew my visa, so i patted him and told him everything would be ok, left some food and water and went off. halfway through my trip i realized i probably had made a mistake and he might have been more seriously ill than i thought. i was shaking and wringing my hands through the whole trip. worried so much about him. sure enough when i arrived home a day and a half later he was missing. i searched the whole neighborhood until i found him at my friend's behind me- he had staggered up there looking for kind souls and suffered all day long, vomiting up harsh smelling chemicals and being unable to move otherwise. my friends tried to feed and water him but he wouldn't take anything, and he died about an hour before i arrived back home. not only was he my best friend and constant companion, 100% good, so lovable and pure.... but i feel so so guilty that i made the decision to leave him and let him die alone amongst strangers. i don't think i can get over this- i have been crying for 3 days now. i miss him so much, there is such an absence, so much pain. he was a beautiful, exceptional soul, i have had many dogs but he was my favorite and i will never for get him.

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My heart feels your pain at what has happened to your precious Khao and I'm sorrier than you could imagine that his death was such a tragic, horrible thing. I'm well aware of how animals are viewed and treated in places like Thailand, China, the Phillipines...the list is too long. I rage against it, write letters to their governments when I can, and for this reason alone, I would never even travel as a tourist to such places....I'd have to hire a private plane to bring every, little, poor furry soul back with me!!

So for this to happen to one you held so dear....I hardly know what to say...I understand the guilt you're feeling, as I would feel the same way. And I assume there aren't even many vets there who you could have turned to for help...so all I can really tell you is that this may be one of those times when all you can do is essentially live and learn from what you see as your mistake. You didn't do this on purpose, that's for certain, and many times we humans do make mistakes, sometimes excruciatingly painful ones. I know, as I did something similar. It took me many years to finally accept that although I did many, many things right, I made a mistake that has cost me dearly in my heart and soul, but that I did what I thought was best at the time, given the circumstances, and with intent to heal, not harm. I was not as perfect as I'd hoped to be, and for a perfectionist, this is not an easy lesson to learn.

I'm so very, very sorry for both your pain and your beloved Khao's...would that everybody in every place on earth held animals as close to our hearts as we do.

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