What Am I Supposed To Do...

[Guest C]

i guess i'll try to keep it short...my dad died last august at 48 yrs old. his death was totally unexpected and preventable. i was with him when he died and i'll i could do was tell him i loved him, that it would be ok and hug him. he didnt know it was all ending and that bothers me. now i have no dad anymore, he wont be able to walk me down the aisle and he wont ever get to meet his future grandkids he was always bugging me to have. im 23 yrs old and have to live a really long time without him and i still pick up the phone to call him all the time. people tell me the dumbest things like 'well at least it wasn't your mom' or 'its been almost 6 months already' or 'when its your time its your time' or 'god took him for a reason'. i am not religious so god and heaven doesnt offer me any comfort. i feel like my mom is going crazy without him and my little brother has also changed. i just dont know what to do, people say therapy but nothing will bring back my dad...

[Guest sissy]

i guess i'll try to keep it short...my dad died last august at 48 yrs old. his death was totally unexpected and preventable. i was with him when he died and i'll i could do was tell him i loved him, that it would be ok and hug him. he didnt know it was all ending and that bothers me. now i have no dad anymore, he wont be able to walk me down the aisle and he wont ever get to meet his future grandkids he was always bugging me to have. im 23 yrs old and have to live a really long time without him and i still pick up the phone to call him all the time. people tell me the dumbest things like 'well at least it wasn't your mom' or 'its been almost 6 months already' or 'when its your time its your time' or 'god took him for a reason'. i am not religious so god and heaven doesnt offer me any comfort. i feel like my mom is going crazy without him and my little brother has also changed. i just dont know what to do, people say therapy but nothing will bring back my dad...

[Guest Guest]

as you know there is no words that will ever be good enough so thats not my point here. I lost my Mom 2 days ago and I don,t see how anyone could ever be the same and really "get on" with their lives. Like you God offers no comfort however I do believe you cannot ever destroy energy and thats what keeps me going. I'm sure if my mom saw me all puffy faced and crying she'd slap me. No parent wants to be the cause of so much pain if they did we would all be in trouble. It might not seem like it at times be your a very strong woman. Not everyone loses a parent at a young age.But what is gone in the physical form remains somewhere in another form. You just have to pay attention. I just turned 27 and like you no grand kids for my naggin mom. Everything happens for a reason and we have little control of what happens in life but we can control what it does to us. Be a strong woman for you dad. Celebrate what you had, and where your going the good and the bad, its all life and if we hide from it were going to be sorry.

[Guest Dayna]

Wow! We have a lot in common. I am also 23 years old and I just lost my father in December a week after he turned 52. Your right nothing can bring him back. It's so sad to think about all the things that he is going to miss. My father did get to see me get married but he won't see his grand children. My husband and I finally decieded to start trying for a baby in October (still no luck) and in November he got sick and in December he passed. I remember telling him that I was trying after he got sick and that I wanted him to see my kids and he said he was excited and it would be his incentive to get better. There is nothing any one can tell you that will make you feel better, actually some of the things they say might make you mad. Just realieze that it is okay to hurt and grieve, don't let anyone tell you other wise. I am not religious either and when people talk to me about God it doesn't offer any comfort. I think if there is a God why did he take my dad when it has caused me such pain. It's not fair and it sucks. Counseling might help or it might not. It helped me to make a scrapbook book of pictures in it with my dad and the family and I keep it for just me, not really to share with anyone else. When I feel sad I take it out and flip through it and just cry. It's weird but after I take the time to cry I feel better at least for a little while. Good luck to you. I hope some of this helps.

[shubom]

Wow, it's like we all have something in commom. I lost my father 5 years ago to a sudden heart attack. He was only 48 years old. It was hard on our family, especially my mother. If it wasn't for my mom, I would have just quit school and died. I was so hurt. It took a while and I was finally able to cope with the loss of my dad. However my mother just passed away last month, and now I'm feeling the loss of both my mom and dad, my parents. And I'm still in my 20's ! I'm so shocked and speechless. To stay strong, I try to draw on memories of what my mom wanted me to do after my dad passed. It hurts and everyday I wonder why I even wake up? I am single with no kids. My mother was my life and now she's gone. It hurts and I'm lost. I just want to stay to you that I am so sorry for the loss of your dad and all the horrible things that come with that. I know and it sucks bad. I also want to say I'm glad your mom is still around. Hold her tight, comfort her and the rest of your family. Stay strong as best you can.

[Guest clam]

im clam, just 17, my mum died when i was 8, i was just trying to get to sleep and i havent had a hard day or anything but i was just lying there in the silence when i started to think about her all over again. i could tlk for hours about it all and i might have to because i have to put all my thoughts somewhere. something has to help. this is going to sound stupid but i reali only grieved for my mum november 2004,that was the hardest year 4 me without her. i reali put off my grief. now im crying about her again.

i wanted to say that altho my grief may seem like nothing because it was 10 years ago- " i should b over it by now" ( i get so angry)so i dont know if i will b able to say anything but the pain doesnt go it never does in truth and this is the truth- you just forget a little and adapt to live with it, i dont think it can ever be "got over". ppl say to be strong- but then u find that u can do nothing else and thats all u knw- so make sure that u show some1 (mayb not ur more direct suffering family) the side that hurts, that will make it easier to be strong for the rest of ur family.my mum knew death was comin and she kept her religion (making me hate faith 4 a while)and she prepared nothing for all us kids and that bothers me. and i still want her so bad that bothers me. it would b easier if the pain were physical.