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Thinking about death


Athos

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Ever since my mother passed (she was very old) last year, I have thought that I am next (am in my late 60's) and in fairly good health.

I wonder if this is normal, to realize that I could go at any time. I have no logical reason to think this. Have you felt the same way?

I dwell  on this more than I should. Men do not live as long as women, usually, according to stats. This whole attitude depresses me.

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My friend, I'm so sorry to learn of your mother's death last year ~ and I can assure you that what you are realizing is quite normal, and it happens to most adults when we experience the death of a parent. Since we Americans live in a death-denying culture, until it happens to someone we love, we rarely encounter dying and death up close, except as it is portrayed on television and in the movies. Perhaps for the very first time, then, when a parent dies we are confronted not only with the reality of death, grief and loss, but also with the reality that we, too, will die one day. As you say, it can be quite depressing and anxiety-provoking to realize that our time on this earth is limited. On the other hand, recognizing that we are mortal can also cause us to take stock of what we are doing with the life that we have now, and adjust accordingly so as to make the most of whatever time we have left. It is, as they say, a double-edged sword. You may find this article helpful: The Psychology of Death: Facing Up to Our Own Mortality

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I think her death just brought your mortality to you in a more real way than you'd ever had before.  Death of a loved one does that, we think about it more and yes, even in conjunction with ourselves.  I don't think I fear death as much as living a long time...alone.

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I know some prefer it, I do not.  But I have gotten used to it for the most part, to the extent I can see the good and the bad sides to it.

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Let's see... my grandparents are all long gone. My uncles are gone. My aunts are gone. My dad died at 55. My mom was 69.

And last March 6th the love of my life died suddenly at 45. Yes, I do think about it.

I was 59 when Tammy died and I felt like a young 59. Now I'm 60 and all of the sudden that number seems kind of big (and scary).

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Ditto.  I turned 60 this year and didn't feel old until after my wife's death. We were the same age.  Well, technically she was a cougar.  one week older than me. Shalom.

 

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