Not my pet, but still...

[Clematis]

I work out on a reservation as a school counselor, and it grieves me to see the way animals are treated out here. Of course, this is not anyway near what I would feel if I were to lose my own beloved pet, but it bothers me. I used to bring Lena, my therapy cat out here (for two school years) but the current principal is concerned that some kids might have allergies, and so no more cat. The kids miss her and loved seeing her; they ask me frequently about her, but Lena probably doesn't miss the car ride.

Very often one child or another will tell me about the death of a pet- usually by some trauma. There is a lot of trauma to the humans out here too.  Anyway, a boy was telling me this morning about the loss of his cat, and he seemed a little sad but nonchalant at the same time. He'll get another cat. I hear this all the time and it mystifies me and hurts my heart. Cats do get somewhat better treatment than dogs because it's well known that they won't last long if you let them outside out here. But dogs have a pretty bad time of it as well.

I thought that it would be good for the kids to see Lena, because it is obvious that she is a treasured pet and the bond of the relationship hard to miss. I would often do things like take her into a classroom-especially in the younger grades- and do a little presentation about how your pet is your friend and investing your time and love yields a better friend. Then they would all take turns petting her, and I'd give each one of them a little photo of Lena. A week or two ago, I was talking about this to a woman who lives out here and she was telling me that they think we white people are crazy, the way we "coddle" animals. I asked her if she thought it had any impact on them to be exposed to what I was trying to show them. She said, "I doubt it".

Anyone have any thoughts about that? 

[MartyT]

I imagine that it's a cultural thing, Laura. After all, it hasn't been so long ago that even in our own affluent society, cats and dogs were viewed quite differently from how we see them today. Statistics indicate that companion animals are becoming far more valued in our society than they were just 20 or 30 years ago. More people in the United States today have pets than children, and most animal lovers regard their pets as members of the family. They live in our homes and sleep with us in our beds. As our standard of living has risen, more of us are able to spend money on our pets, and of course, the free market today offers all kinds of products aimed at pet parents, from exotic treats and pet food to clever toys, luxurious bedding and even costumes for our cats and dogs. Add to this the animal rights movement, which seeks an end to the rigid moral and legal distinction drawn between human and non-human animals, an end to the status of animals as property, and an end to their use in the research, food, clothing, and entertainment industries. Some of us won't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. From the perspective of far less affluent individuals and cultures, I'm sure all of this must look as if we coddle animals.

Would doing a presentation with Lena to demonstrate the value of bonding with a treasured pet make a difference with the kids on the reservation? I don't know ~ but your question reminds me of the starfish story: 

A young man is walking along the ocean and sees a beach on which thousands and thousands of starfish have washed ashore. Further along he sees an old man, walking slowly and stooping often, picking up one starfish after another and tossing each one gently into the ocean. “Why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?,” he asks. “Because the sun is up and the tide is going out and if I don’t throw them further in they will die.” “But, old man, don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it! You can’t possibly save them all, you can’t even save one-tenth of them. In fact, even if you work all day, your efforts won’t make any difference at all.” The old man listened calmly and then bent down to pick up another starfish and threw it into the sea. “It made a difference to that one.”

[kayc]

I don't know the answer to that, but I do feel, like Marty said, that it's culture.  A lady in my church is a wonderful person, but not an animal person, and she has told me she would NEVER allow a dog into her house, let alone on the furniture!  You could see the disgust on her face as she said it.  I have to laugh, if only she saw my home, my animals rule!  My dog has his own recliner and is allowed to be on any of the furniture.  I keep an old worn out quilt on my bed so that his claws won't tear up my bedding.  My whole house is geared to the animals.  My cat, Kitty, thinks I am an elevator, I am there for the sole purpose of feeding her and lifting her on top of the dryer, where she can eat in peace (out of the dog's reach).  My cat, Miss Mocha, thinks I am a door opener or a bench warmer...she loves stealing chairs and exerting her right to go in/out/in/out the door!

People who don't get to know animals on an intimate level are really missing out!  My animals are my family.  Yep, I coddle them, what's their point?

[Clematis]

I think you're right, Marty and Kay, it's a cultural thing and the story about the starfish is quite apropos. I doubt that my presentations have made an overall impact, but I think there are a number of kids who were impacted by seeing Lena in action-especially the kids that see me for counseling, and therefore had a lot more exposure to Lena. She may have had some impacted some adults as well. Here is one of my favorite Lena stories...

There was a boy in the sixth grade who had been suspended several times for some serious bad behavior, and his classmates knew all about this (unfortunately). We were trying to get him to go back to his regular classroom and not an isolated one-on-one in-school suspension like where he had been.  Another staff, Dee, (also a social worker) was meeting with this boy and she was talking to him and getting nowhere, so she called me to come up and help. It was a day that Lena was with me and so, everywhere I went Lena went too! He was crying and saying he was scared to go back and afraid of the other kids and so on. Dee was seated across from the boy and I sat at the end of the conference table, next to him. Lena was being very squirmy and I set her on the table in the middle of the three of us, where she strained hard to get away from him. I thought this very odd, because only an hour earlier, Lena had been eating treats out of the hand of this same boy! Suddenly I got it, and said to the boy, "I don't think you're afraid-I think you're angry that two adults more or less have you cornered. Lena also thinks you're angry.! She doesn't like it when people are angry and she is trying very hard to get away from you." I moved down the conference table a few seats away-for Lena's benefit, while Dee looked at Lena and the boy. Then Dee (not a cat lover) said to the boy, "I think that's right-why don't you tell us what is really going on?" And he did; it totally turned things around. Later in the day, I looked up Dee to see what she thought (like maybe I was nuts-crazy white woman and her cat or something). But she said, "no, Lena called it better than the two of us together, in spite of our advanced degrees and decades of clinical work." You can't fool a cat-or a dog-with fake tears and made-up stuff!

 

[Clematis]

=^. .^=

 

[kayc]

We can learn so much from animals!

[Clematis]

You are so right!    =^. .^=

[Merlin]

unconditional love, those who don't see or understand this haven't truly lived.

 

[MyGulu]

I agree completely. I lost a beloved pet in the recent past & am still not over him but I would not trade anything in the whole universe for the years I have had with Gulu. In our home also animals rule Anyone who has not loved or be loved by an animal, will never even figure out what they have missed out in their lives.

[Clematis]

I was manning the school counselor table at Career Day on the reservation today and a little girl was telling me how sad she was that her cat had just died. I was feeling sad and bracing myself to hear about what horrific thing had happened to this poor kitty. But she said it was old age, and I thought that was wonderful that a cat out there had the opportunity to live so long out there. Nice to hear about a treasured pet in a place where pets seem disposable and easily replaceable. Having a strong bond with a pet is a wonderful thing.