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Widowedbysuicide

How do you survive the suicide of your lifelong love?

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Today I finally was able to deal with a bank with regards to an RRSP that was in my husband's name.  Two years of being treated like a subhuman by a bank manager.  There was no Will but I was the legal wife and beneficiary yet all I got was the runaround.  All the terrors I suffered for about $1,000.00  

I have been stalled with doing so many things because of this.  An emotional stall where I feared trying to get on with the 'business' of learning to 'deal' with life.  I haven't taken my husband's name off the bank accounts we shared, I have not filed taxes for 2015.  I have not changed the name on some of the bills to my name.  He did all the banking because handling money makes me nuts.  

The me that I was before Gord died had backup.  I don't have that now and my confidence has been shattered.  

How do you survive this life after...  I don't have an answer.  I am struggling along doing what I can to get through each day.  I'm not any worse off than anyone else but this forum is the only place I can come to find reassurance that I'm doing ok.

Maybe today's success is the beginning of taking charge of my life.  

Goodnight to my love in heaven.  I sure miss everything about being with you.  It has been 10 years since we bought this place and I'm busting my all to keep it and honour you while doing it.  ❤️

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Marita,

I'm sure he is proud of you.  One step at a time, one day at a time.  Could you hire a tax person to file the taxes?  I've always done my own on line but this year ran into problems with the energy credit I want to take so am hiring someone to do it as the program I use doesn't seem to address that...I ended up filing an extension to cover my bases while waiting on the Energy Dept. to get to me.  Some things need taken care of but aren't worth our worry.

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5 hours ago, Widowedbysuicide said:

Maybe today's success is the beginning of taking charge of my life.  

That is our hope for you, dear Marita ~ and the prayer we have for all of us. 

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...  I have been stalled with doing so many things because of this.  An emotional stall where I feared trying to get on with the 'business' of learning to 'deal' with life.  I haven't taken my husband's name off the bank accounts we shared, I have not filed taxes for 2015.  I have not changed the name on some of the bills to my name.  He did all the banking because handling money makes me nuts.  

The me that I was before Gord died had backup.  I don't have that now and my confidence has been shattered.  

How do you survive this life after...

=====================================================================

Marita,

Your answer is here...  "The me that I was before Gord died had backup".  It has not gone away// it just needs to be rekindled.  You do it one baby step at a time.

You battled the bank for two years and eventually you were successful.  It is the same persistence and determination to apply to the other areas.  I suggest start with the smaller easier step and this will build your confidence to tackle the larger ones.... When you get tired, rest, recharge, regroup and then charge ahead again.

For those of us who were "Left Behind", our mission is to press forward to live, grow, and dream.  

I have learned that FEELINGS are not FACTS but when examined will point me to the TRUTH.

You have that spunk, we all do.  Tap into that.

 

That is what is so great about this forum.  We know, understand, and comprehend inside the veil of Grief and Healing with like minded people. You are making more progress than you realize.  I continue to pray and intercede for you and all of us here.  - Shalom  

 

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I know I started this thread about me but if those of you who have journeyed here with me could offer Katie some similar support it would mean alot to me and I think it would help her.

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It is May 29th, I think.

Every day is so much of nothing I don't bother to keep track.  It will soon be June 5th, marking 3 years and 4 months of feeling like crap.

There isn't anything I can think of doing that interests me and I need to find something that makes me feel like I'm alive.  Being a shadow person is awful.  I know I don't really have anything to complain about, I'm just down in the dumps 😧

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I'm sorry.  I was never a moody person, usually upbeat and positive, cheerful no matter what was going on.  But since George's death, I've found more ups and downs, struggle with the downs.  I do better in the daytime, nightime is hard.  I hope it gets better for you, soon.

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