If You're Going Through Hell

[kayc]

20 hours ago, Marg M said:

And Kay, our numbers would not be so bad if the masks were mandated.

I don't know about there, but they're required here, ANYWHERE you go!  It's up to local governors I guess.  Biden said he's going to mandate it, we'll see.  Right now I can walk my dog or be outside in my yard w/o one but any place you encounter others it's required, has been most of the year.  That's why I'm blown away to see pictures of thousands of young people crowded together on a FL beach w/o masks.  I would not be among them, that seems like playing with fire.  Many of the young think they're invincible, maybe that part of their brain isn't yet developed.  Universities have had partying, another spreader.  Some never knew where they got COVID, who knows, perhaps an inanimate object although not as likely, possible.

Gin, I'm sorry, count the days down.  A friend of mine went through this, his "roommate" got it from work, didn't live in the house with him, but on his property, still had to quarantine.  He used their bathroom, so much sanitation going on, fortunately did not get it.  He not only was quarantined the ten days his roommate had it but ANOTHER 14 days beyond!  Seemed weird he had to stay in longer than the guy that had it!  But they said he could contract it on the other guy's last day before negative testing.

 

[kayc]

18 hours ago, Gin said:

Brother has pneumonia.  On hospice now.  We just had a zoom meeting with him.  Like a goodbye.    Gin

Oh no!  To not be able to do that in person, there are no words.  Sending you my love.  I wish the end of this year signified the end of all this.  (((hugs)))

[Gwenivere]

I understand all this quarantining when you know you’ve been in contact with someone who was exposed or has it.  I see why this whole thing is so sneaky because we go places and around people we don’t know and won’t see again, like shopping, so we can’t know where or if we are exposed.  Contact tracing doesn’t work there.  I hate this living in fear, basically, all the time.  I hate apologizing or someone to me for getting too close.  

This has gotten so out of hand.   I saw in the news last night hospital doctors saying how hard it is now to treat heart attacks and other things that happen as they always had and hoping those people don’t land in beds in hallways when they need more monitoring.  

Just blows my mind this started with one frigging bat.  Blows my mind more the US didn’t do things right like New Zealand and lock down immediately.  The powers that be knew about this long before it got a real foothold here and did nothing.  Actually, I’m furious about it.

[KarenK]

A year ago in Nov. before all this was brought to public awareness, Robert got really sick...fever for days on end, coughing, and generally wiped out. He thought it was the flu, but with no aching all over that is common to the flu. Like me, he is stubborn and didn't go to the doctor, just toughed it out for 2 or 3 weeks. I remember us taking the dogs to the vet with him dripping sweat and the tech telling him he looked awful and to go home and lay down. He wonders now  if he really had Covid. I didn't catch whatever it was. I really think it's been around a lot longer than reported.

[Margm]

4 minutes ago, KarenK said:

I really think it's been around a lot longer than reported.

So do I Karen.  I don't think it magically, or horrifically appeared on January 1st.  We wonder how much the government holds back, but I'm not sure I really want to know.  Sometimes "ignorance is bliss."  Mama used to tell me all the time that "children should be seen and not heard."  So, I actually did not know what an opinion was.  I looked it up. (I love Google)

"The English proverb children should be seen and not heard means that children are allowed to be present during a conversation but should not be allowed to speak unless they are spoken to first."

So maybe to the government we are children.  I know I have some very mean, opinionated people on my FB, but I have cut down my "friends" to only 108.  My sister is very much opinionated democrat.  I think I am "apolitical" but do not like comic strip characters running our country.  I did vote.

I guess this is too political.  My son gets off work at 7:00 a.m.  He always takes a picture from probably the 7th floor of "Old Glory" and somehow it gives me a lift to see it blowing in the wind, like this morning.  He does it for me, but he has developed quite a following and he forgot one day, and people mentioned it.  

[Gwenivere]

108 people, Marg?  Wow!  Don’t know how you keep up.  I ditched that place years ago and had about 12 which overwhelmed me.  

I got the flu in rehab in February last year.  Wasn’t very bad, but they did isolate me.  Then it started showing up big time.  Maybe I had it, I don’t know.  This was a regular flu test and I don’t know if those pick it up.  Logic says yes as it was looking for viral whatevers.  

That axiom about kids didn’t apply in my huge family of 5 sisters and all my cousins.  We were encouraged to be engaged and I’m glad we were.  We all turned out very outgoing.  Didn’t take guff or we were less than others as adults.  To many of the parents dismays we engaged in stuff they wouldn’t dare like divorce.  They were hard core Catholic.  I know 2 that would have had happier lives had they done so.  

In the case of the virus, ignorance wasn’t bliss.  The government protected us in the wrong way.  Now we pay.  So many now living with grief they shouldn’t have to.  Breaks my heart.  And the health care workers that have to witness this.  I truly feel for them.

[KarenK]

Well, first day of the new year and already the weirdos are coming out of the woodwork. Robert and I were in the front yard with the  dogs. Some dude comes sailing up on an electric scooter wearing a toboggan hat and reflective vest asking if we're homeowners or renters. Robert told him it was none of his business. Then he said he just wanted to talk to us about solar. Right!! On New Year's Day dressed so professional. I don't think so😆 Dogs didn't like him either.

[kayc]

Karen, he might have wanted inside to "case out" your place.  I wouldn't trust him either.  No one comes here except by invitation or appointment!   And then only if needed or can afford, that cuts out 99% right there!  Those I NEED to come have to be nagged into it, it seems!

13 hours ago, Marg M said:

My sister is very much opinionated democrat.

Personally, I think BOTH sides extremely opinionated/vocal!  That's why I re-registered as an Independent, my family is divided, so are my neighbors, friends, church, that way it's no one's business how I voted!  I, too, have strong opinions but they're mine, not for everyone else!  No matter what I say they're not likely to change their minds anyway.  Too many talk and don't listen.  I appreciate those who listen and think carefully before they speak (hey, that's even Biblical!).  

Sounds like you need a "No Trespassing sign" tacked up on a tree, Karen!  I should get one except strangers don't come here.  Last one I remember was a Census worker, before that was a JW over 30 years ago!

[KarenK]

Kay, it also doesn't hurt to have 2 large dogs that bark like they want to eat you alive(more likely lick you to death). LOL  This guy stayed well back from the fence while spinning his yarn.

[Gwenivere]

I occasionally still get mail about selling my house or fixing it up now that I’m a widow.  Calls are the ones I can at least get some venom out.  Recently got a call asking for him for some charity he supported and I replied coldly he was dead.  No sorry or anythIng, just hung up on me.  Called them back and told a supervisor.  I felt I deserved an apology and they needed to know that in that profession, kindness is paramount.  

[widow'15]

2 hours ago, KarenK said:

.... it also doesn't hurt to have 2 large dogs that bark like they want to eat you alive

I agree Karen, 2 barking dogs are perfect.  I so miss my Maddie alerting me every time someone set foot on my driveway.   It was good your son was standing with you, too.  I am surprised salesmen are knocking on doors or selling during pandemic.  I haven't had anyone knocking on my door since this began.  Must be your living in the sunny SW.  lol    Dee

 

[kayc]

Karen, I miss my Arlie for that as well!  He was a self appointed guard dog that would make grown men shake in their boots!  Very large and could come across very scary to those he didn't think belonged here!

Kodie alerts me but hardly scares anyone!  He'd kiss anyone to death before he'd scare anybody.  He loves everyone and any visitors!  Doesn't matter to him if he's never met them, to him everyone is a friend in the making!

[Gin]

Found out this morning that my dear brother died.  He had severe Alzheimer’s and Covid. Have not see him since July.  No one allowed to visit.  It is better for him...he would not want to live like this.  It’s been downhill since his wife died last Jan.  Gin

[Gwenivere]

I’m so sorry, Gin.  I didn’t know his wife died also.  I wish you could have seen him.  Covid has so messed with life and death.  My heart is with you.  It’s not a lot to offer, but I really do care.  Hugs.  ❤️

[KarenK]

Gin, I'm so very sorry.

I wish you peace in your heart.

Karen

[MartyT]

May your dear brother rest in eternal peace, dear Gin, and may it comfort you to know that his suffering has ended. We are thinking of you and sending our heartfelt condolences to you and your family members . . . ❤️

[widow'15]

Gin, my heart goes out to you and your family with this loss.  Keeping you in my thoughts as you all walk this path.  Hugs, Dee

[Margm]

I'm so sorry Gin.  We all know no words seem appropriate.  My heart is with you.  

[kayc]

Gin, I am so sorry, for you and your family.  This year is horrid for families having to experience loss w/o getting to even see them.    It feels inhumane to us and I wish this on no one.  Your one consolation is knowing he's with his wife and out of his suffering.  I felt some relief when my mom passed on HER behalf, not mine.  For myself, I still miss her.  She was troubled all her life and I know she's okay now, that thought consoles me.  But...well, you know.  All too well.

(((hugs)))

[brat#2]

Gin, I'm so sorry, not much more to say other than you are in my thoughts and my heart is with you.  Hugs

[Margm]

Sometimes I go back and read what I wrote and think "who made you the specialist" for whatever I am stewing about at that time.

Truth is, I'm not a specialist on anything.  We all come from different families growing up, some are fortunate and have wonderful parents, some you have to say, well,  heck, they had to put up with me and I sure did not live up to their expectations.  They did the best they could with what they had.  

Marriage was an adventure, lots of time I stayed in the boat because I cannot swim.  Came too close to leaving it one time mentally and physically, but I'm glad I stayed.  I sure miss that imperfect man that was married to the so very imperfect me.  

I'm not an expert on anything.  I am lucky or very blessed to know a lot of people, some are kinfolks, but they are still around, so we must like each other okay.  I miss getting out.  

I fussed about there being so many people in Walmart yesterday.  I had to walk from almost the end of one aisle and remember I had parked in aisle 7.  I remembered.  Then I got to thinking.  These are people who have done without for so long that they need the food and staples to plan for hard times ahead.  I had forgot about the stimulus check.  I hadn't got it  yet.  

I get ashamed of myself sometimes.  I forget how blessed I really am.

[Gwenivere]

4 hours ago, Marg M said:

I sure miss that imperfect man that was married to the so very imperfect me.  

That applies to us all, Marg.  We were only 'perfect' for each other.  Certainly had our ups send downs like everyone.  Times of wanting to throw in the towel and others we couldn’t get enough of them.  I think relationships are more complicated than politics.

i know I’m not a specialist on anything anymore beyond my own grief and there are times it will throw a fast ball at me to keep me humble or sumthin.  Not that I need it’s help.  I was only a specialist when I was a phone tech or artist.  Art was subjective, but phones are like math, they only work when done right.  I dint even see it as taking it for granted, our bodies just worked better with less mileage.

Getting impatient with people is happening more because I am impatient inside.  But I don’t know about what.  Some kind of positive change is my closest guess.  As I am older and creakier, the things I drop or I have to struggle with so annoy me.  

I see people in stores I know are struggling.  I also see the people who have money buying super healthy food that requires work to prepare Just threw out half a dozen eggs over 2 months old. How hard is it to scramble eggs?  It’s not unless you’re so down it is.  I did get the stimulus check and it was gone to bills so fast i didn’t get to enjoy the little bump in my bank balance. 

 I’m glad you feel blessed.  For all you do for people in your life, you should.  I don’t feel shame, just longing to feel somewhat content as I was a couple years ago.  Got pushed into this detour and it’s dragging  out longer than I expected.

 

[Margm]

Sometimes my words come from anger.  Then I read it and have to get rid of what I've said.  Kind of takes the wind out of my sails and makes me realize I don't know anything about anything.  I don't know other people's feelings or really what to do with them.  So, thankfully most times I can reread it and get rid of it.  I guess I use these blocks to talk to me sometimes.  I've already established I repeat things often.  Brianna showed me her new blanket last night, Christmas you know, I asked to see it and she told me she had just showed it to me.  So, perhaps I have to watch what I say and read it twice.  Y'all all are the best.  I wish we could all hug again, for the first time.  

[kayc]

I took my sister in to the bank a few months ago when her husband died, she filled out paperwork to turn his account over to just her name but the bank hasn't done it yet, she had to send in his death certificate, still nada.  So how is she supposed to get her stimulus check?  I told her to ask her cpa when she talks to him, she doesn't have a computer...

What a mess.  I reminded my daughter to check with Don about HER half of the stimulus check, sure enough it came, I hope she gets it from him.  Nothing is easy.

The $600 came and went already in home repair expenses coming up.  What IS there to look forward to in life?  For me just getting through the church books will be cause for celebration in itself!  Can't drink or eat pizza or chocolates so not even sure HOW to celebrate!  Can't go out to eat with a friend.  Sick of lock-down.  Lane County is "extreme" category.

Ahh, Marg, we love you too and thanks for the hug!  That warms my heart.  So thankful for Kodie, the only touch in my life.

Elec. co. hooked up the generlink yesterday morning so at least that's crossed off my list!  Have to get through the church's year end before I can turn my attention to preparing for tax time for ME.  Ugh!  I swear I'd love to cancel this time of year.  February looming ahead, it's usually our worst weather, when we had snow-pocalypse.

 

[KarenK]

Supposedly, Arizona is leading the nation in New Covid cases and deaths. What a thing to be famous for! For all I know, the news may be saying the same thing locally for every state. You really don't know what to believe.

Irregardless, I still plan to get my truck washed, go to Walmart, and the grocery store. Wondering how many "germs" these strangers will leave behind as they clean my truck? There was a time when we went outside to get some fresh air. Now we're afraid to take a breath. Life has become ridiculous!