If You're Going Through Hell

[Margm]

My dad always felt it was important to remember dates signifying something in his and my mom's marriage. Usually flowers, which she complained, just died.  One time a blouse, (Mama sewed all her clothes) and she asked him how much he paid.  He told her and she said she could make it for 75 cents.  He never quit though.  Billy remembered, but he would have his sister pick it out or my daughter, as she got older.  The sentiment, somehow, was not the same if someone else picked out a card.  My daughter married and this man was the same way Billy acted.  He could see it meant a lot to my daughter and somehow, he decided he would do the remembering.  He did, but by this time I had come to the understanding he was so good in so many ways, this one thing did not matter.  He certainly was a more loving father to his kids and grandkids than my dad had been and you learned to appreciate subtle differences.  I appreciated them and of course, like all of you, I miss them.  It somehow makes those days not that important anymore, now just every day is as important as the last one.

Gwen, my colon decided it could not handle Bactrim.  Personally, I am doing okay..  I'm wondering about the Pneumovax for pneumonia.  I will wait awhile, but I am not thinking now that I am untouchable; and I don't want pneumonia.  

[Gwenivere]

Bactrim is a nasty antibiotic.  I hope you or I never need it again.  So, you are doing OK without it?  We’re you switched to something else?

I got both the pnuemovax and prevar vaccines.  Prevnar is a really important one as it covers some serious strains of pneumonia the other misses.  I think you can get 2 pnuemovax in your life, but only 1 of prevnar.   Yup, don’t want to mess around with pneumonia.

[Margm]

They did not do blood work first and I am always suspicious of antibiotics.  They wreck havoc on my already injured colon.  Going to have to request IV or shots from now on.  I hope you are feeling lots better. Your getting out and trying to volunteer again.  That deserves thanks from a company that runs and owns the nursing home, not stress.  I'm very proud of you.  For some reason all i want to do is sleep and I hate sleeping more than usual.  Hugs to you all.  

[shebert56]

I went this morning to get my flu shot.  I was really anxious about it, being alone without Stephen.  But I woke up this morning deciding I would not be fearful and got it done.  I'm not allergic to eggs, but I've become intolerant to them.  Cooked alone they go right through me.  Cooked in food (like a cake, quiche, etc.), they don't bother me.  I eat them anyway, as I love them.  

Last night I noticed that my eyesight is changing.  I've got cataracts (most of us do as we age), but I'm starting to see a slight halo in one eye when looking at the moon or a street light.  I don't drive at night unless it's absolutely critical to do so.  Not having anything done until I move back home to Louisiana next year, where I have family and friends.  Having this done here, alone, isn't comfortable for me.  But I'm due for a checkup, so will schedule that just to ensure there's nothing else going on.  I can live with the halo for a while.

I had the shingles vaccine last year (I've already had a mild case of shingles about 12 years ago).  I had a few side affects that made me question if I should have done that.   Aches and general feeling unwell.  But that passed in a few days.

I'm a little young yet for the pneumonia vaccine, unless I want to pay for it.  I've never had pneumonia, and actually never had the flu either.  Or if I've had flu, symptoms were only that of a cold virus.  Lucky me I suppose.

~Shirley

[TomPB]

I only get these shots when my PCP really gets after me. I actually don't remember which I've caved on and which I've held out on :). A swimmer friend had such a horrible reaction to the shingles shot that she missed several morning practices and eventually quit the team!

I have grief for all seasons but the first cold days are some of the worst. I always said that I didn't care if it was cold in the bedroom because I had Susan to warm me up, sleeping alone in the cold is extra sad.

[Margm]

I didn't know there was an age that separated you from the pneumonia shot but being 76, I think I am old enough to take anything.  Just never had the pneumonia shot.  

[KarenK]

I am stubborn. I don't get flu shots, pneumonia shots, shingles shots, mammograms, colonoscopies, or any of the numerous other things my doctor is always suggesting. Finally agreed to a simple physical during summer mostly because the doctor's office needed to comply with regulations to qualify for the Medicare status, or so he said.

I do take BP medicine and have blood tests for that. Have low sodium and potassium and dizziness and COPD caused by me. Just don't go to the doctor unless I'm at death's door, which doesn't happen often.

Have to stay healthy enough to be here for my son and grandson. Son is very sick right now with stomach cramps, which have been around for 3 weeks. Got him to ER. Ran a bunch of tests and are referring him to a gastro doctor for possible ulcer. He is never sick and this has us very confused. Will let you know what happens. The "cancer" worry lives in my mind always.

[kayc]

Shirley, I had Pneumonia in my mid-thirties, I recommend the shot to anyone who could be exposed to it, it's not something any of us want to go through I can assure you!  My kids were little at the time and I remember I didn't care if I lived or died, I was in a bad way.  My husband should not have been going off to work and leaving me alone with the kids, I couldn't take care of myself at the time, let alone them.  I remember when he finally got me into the doctor, I was too weak to get dressed, he brought me to the clinic's back door in my robe and slippers.

[Margm]

Kay, I had high fever and a house full of Billy, Brianna, Kelli, and Scott all begging me to go to the ER.  I had just visited my care provider that afternoon and I told them "No, it is the week end and they will have doctors from other hospitals filling in and I'm not going till Monday morning."  The next thing I remember is seeing two little girls sitting on the steps of the ambulance, they stayed there.  They were twins probably five years old.  I remember white blouses and blue and white checked pinafores, both had dark hair.  I remember asking for them on the gurney being taken into the ER.  No one saw them ever, but me.  If Billy had not called the ambulance (like I should have for him), I would be dead.  If I had not passed out, I would be dead.  Life sure plays crazy jokes on us.  

[KarenK]

I did have that fungal pneumonia back in Kentucky. Not sure if a preventative shot would have helped that because it was a weird type. Definitely no fun. My immune system was shot to pieces then also.

Son feeling better. Eating only baked chicken and rice, applesauce, and yogurt and drinking carrot juice, aloe vera juice, and water. Boring, but seems to be helping his stomach.

[widow'15]

On 10/21/2018 at 6:57 AM, shebert56 said:

Last night I noticed that my eyesight is changing.  I've got cataracts (most of us do as we age), but I'm starting to see a slight halo in one eye when looking at the moon or a street light.  I don't drive at night unless it's absolutely critical to do so.  Not having anything done until I move back home to Louisiana next year, where I have family and friends.  Having this done here, alone, isn't comfortable for me.  But I'm due for a checkup, so will schedule that just to ensure there's nothing else going on.  I can live with the halo for a while.

Shirley:  Don't mean to upset you, but I had the same symptom of the "halo" around the moon shortly after my husband died in 2015 and since I had not had my eyes checked for awhile as we were dealing with his illness,  my annual appointments to my eye doctor were well past two years.  One evening as I was letting my dog out for her last bathroom break, I was talking to my husband looking at the beautiful full moon, and saw the "halo" and commented to myself, "Now why does the moon have a halo?"  Shortly after that I went to the optometrist to get new glasses and discovered I have macular degeneration in my left eye.  I have stopped  driving at night as well.  Google macular degeneration and you will find a Amsler grid that will help you determine if you should see a eye doctor soon.   Hopefully, new glasses will solve your problem.  Just a suggestion.  Dee

[KarenK]

That is interesting to know, Dee. I have experienced the "halos" for at least 15 years or more. They bother me most around the traffic signals and oncoming headlights. Don't drive at night unless it's an absolute necessity. The ophthalmologist told me many, many years ago that I was developing cataracts, so I just assumed that was the cause of the "halos". I don't drive far from home so can get by in the daylight. Just don't ask me to read a street sign. I use dollar store glasses for reading. Have just put my vision on the "back burner" for many years. I lost my vision insurance at retirement thirteen years ago and there were so many other things that needed financial attention. The doctor's visit is covered by medical insurance, but not glasses themselves. Go figure.

[Gwenivere]

Have the same thing myself as far as vision insurance.  Just got a letter from them saying in 2019 they won’t cover anything but cleanings and cavities.  So root canals, bridges, crowns, stuff that comes up as we age they are making out of pocket.  Doing the math for heat the premiums cost, I will probably go out of pocket and maybe save myself a few bucks.  That or find a new dental plan in open enrollment which of course will mean higher premiums.  Much as I love the USA, our health care is disgraceful.

[kayc]

Karen,

I'm glad your son is feeling better.  I'm allergic to aloe vera (and so much else) but it sounds like he has the same sort of boring diet I have.  I have a piece of chicken and Kale Smoothie most nights with salad or coleslaw, sometimes spice it up with a cup of homemade chicken/vegetable soup.  I go to the senior site twice a week and a ladies group once a week where I have something different to change up the boredom.  I eat mostly produce but it doesn't seem to help my weight.  My little sister tried being vegan one summer, didn't lose an ounce, been there, done that!  But I'll settle for healthy. 

Came down with an ear infection so now after only three hours sleep I have to make the 100 mile round trip to the doctor, ugh.  Holding for them now.

My insurance just dropped dental, I didn't use their's anyway as it was a scam.  Prefer to pay out of pocket for my own, at least I know what I'm getting.  The place my insurance covered vision is now out of business so not sure where I'll go next time.  I have Fuch's Dystrophy of the Corneas which is why I can't drive at night, but also cataracts that they're waiting to get worse.  

[widow'15]

20 hours ago, KarenK said:

That is interesting to know, Dee. I have experienced the "halos" for at least 15 years or more. They bother me most around the traffic signals and oncoming headlights. Don't drive at night unless it's an absolute necessity. The ophthalmologist told me many, many years ago that I was developing cataracts, so I just assumed that was the cause of the "halos". I don't drive far from home so can get by in the daylight. Just don't ask me to read a street sign. I use dollar store glasses for reading. Have just put my vision on the "back burner" for many years. I lost my vision insurance at retirement thirteen years ago and there were so many other things that needed financial attention. The doctor's visit is covered by medical insurance, but not glasses themselves. Go figure.

Karen K:  Don't know if "halos" are due to my macula degeneration for sure.  Just seemed to be discovered shortly after I was having my eyes examined for new glasses and the optometrist referred me to the retina specialist.  There were no problems with "halos" and night driving until after my husband passed in 2015.  Of course, my age doesn't help, am now 77 years old.  Up until then, I was driving anywhere I wanted to go daytime or nighttime.  I can still drive in daytime to my appointments and grocery shopping, but with all the "crazies" out there in such a hurry I would rather be home.  Am always feeling like I am not going as fast as everyone else wants me to go. 

Yes, I know what you mean about medical insurance and paying for glasses.  Hopefully, your family is there to help you if you need to go somewhere in evening.

Dee

[widow'15]

20 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Have the same thing myself as far as vision insurance.  Just got a letter from them saying in 2019 they won’t cover anything but cleanings and cavities.  So root canals, bridges, crowns, stuff that comes up as we age they are making out of pocket.  Doing the math for heat the premiums cost, I will probably go out of pocket and maybe save myself a few bucks.  That or find a new dental plan in open enrollment which of course will mean higher premiums.

Gwen:  I guess I was feeling pretty comfortable these past years as my dental insurance was in place and as far as I knew I was satisfied with it.  My husband had set it up prior to his illness.  Now of course, open enrollment is changing my comfortable place.  Need to decide what dental insurance I will go with and if I want to invest in vision.  Haven't taken the time to compare and at my age, who knows what's next.  LOL.  Oh well, "One Day at a Time, or should I say, "One Worry at at Time."  Dee

 

[Gwenivere]

I’m getting tired of more worries.  Maybe because I am alone.  With Steve we just took the problem on and solved it quickly.  Now I feel,like I’m wading through molasses as far as motivation.  Plus it seems the worries are more.  Bound to happen without back up.

[shebert56]

Dee, I've got an appt first week in Nov with eye doc to check things out.  Dad had macular degeneration.  I take my eyes seriously which is why I'm having it checked out.  If it's just the cataract, I know I can put that off until I move back home and am among family.  My eye doc is like 1/4 a mile from my home, but the surgery center is way farther.  And I don't have a support system to call upon to ask to be driven that far.  I could ask a neighbor if push came to shove, but not necessary yet.

Gwen, I hear you.  Each bump I encounter seems like a hill.  I just make myself start climbing.

~Shirley

[widow'15]

22 minutes ago, shebert56 said:

Dee, I've got an appt first week in Nov with eye doc to check things out.  Dad had macular degeneration.  I take my eyes seriously which is why I'm having it checked out.  If it's just the cataract, I know I can put that off until I move back home and am among family.  My eye doc is like 1/4 a mile from my home, but the surgery center is way farther.  And I don't have a support system to call upon to ask to be driven that far.  I could ask a neighbor if push came to shove, but not necessary yet.

Gwen, I hear you.  Each bump I encounter seems like a hill.  I just make myself start climbing.

~Shirley

Shirley:  Here's hoping the best for you.  There are treatments for MD but do hope it's cataracts.  Dee

[Gwenivere]

Shirley, it’s so hard to be without a support system.  Everything becomes so complicated like getting a ride you might need.  I hope you get hopeful news about your eyes til you get back to your family.  

I have to get 2 large dogs to the vet Friday with my back and leg pain.  Where is that handy hubby that used to help?  

[kayc]

Shirley,

I hope with you that your eyes can wait until you're around family and have support.

Gwen, 

Do you have a splitter for their leash?  It helps because they pull against each other instead of you.  I used to walk my son's dog and mine, both Huskies and very strong, and the splitter made all the difference in the world.

[Gwenivere]

I don’t have splitter but harnesses that pull from the chest so they are fighting themself when pulling.  One dog will go in begrudgingly, I’ll have to get the staff to get the other one.  My back can’t take it.  I’m sure I'm not the only one that they’ve had to do that for.  I’ll be depending on my Xanax for this.  Too stressful.  

[shebert56]

Cr@p, I woke up yesterday perfectly fine, then had some sort of lower back muscle spasm big time.  It even hurts when I take a very deep breath.  Thank you Stephen for the muscle relaxers, the prescription ibuprofen, and the walker (who we affectionately call Gladys).  Slept great, even got up during the night twice for bathroom, without an issue.  Putting my feet on the floor this morning was another animal!  So I will baby my back, ice and heat, gentle stretching, not staying in one place overly long (laying, sitting, standing).

I am not irritated nor sad that I'm dealing with this alone.  I have zero doubt Stephen is with me as I can feel a very warm comforting energy.  

I am learning to take it one day at a time.  Saying that, but truly feeling that, are two different things.

~Shirley

[kayc]

17 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I’ll have to get the staff to get the other one.

That's a good idea.  Maybe even have the staff get both of them.

Shirley,

I'm so sorry you're hurting!  I have a friend (he's 75) who has a pinched sciatic nerve.  He doesn't live here and has two German Shepherds he can't leave alone and no one to take care of them, so he's trying to get through this on his own with crutches.  I hope it heals eventually, it'd be pretty hard to go through the rest of his life like this.  

[widow'15]

10 hours ago, shebert56 said:

I am learning to take it one day at a time.  Saying that, but truly feeling that, are two different things.

~Shirley

Shirley:  Sorry you are experiencing discomfort with spasms.  You made me smile with your walker's name, "Gladys" - that was my mother-in-law's name who lived to be 95.  😊

Through each day for the past 3+ years, I have had to tell myself to "Take One Day at a Time" not only because that is the sensible thing to do, but because at my age, it is the only way I can manage my day and myself.  My poor old brain can only do "One Day at a Time."  Gone are the days when I could keep more balls in the air. 

Take care.  Dee