If You're Going Through Hell

[KarenK]

I'm very familiar with dog vomit. Marley tends to throw up easily, always on the carpet!

Different subject here, but I watched the CMA Awards tonight, only because it was supposed to celebrate the music of top female singers. A big disappointment to me. My brain is still living in the 60's and 70's expecting music of Patsy Cline(my favorite), Loretta Lynn, Tammy Wynette, etc. You get the picture. Although it was co-hosted by Reba and Dolly, alongside Carrie Underwood, who are these new people and where did country music go? As Barbara Mandrell sang "I was country when country wasn't cool" and I don't even know what genre to call it anymore. I guess everything changes over time and we sure can't go back and ask time to stand still. If we could, none of us would be here. 

Peace 

[kayc]

My dad liked old country music, he never would have considered what is out now as "country."

Interestingly, my scripture for the day today is "Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls for he has no one to help him up."  I've read that before but it's been a long time...it hit me now how true it is after all these years of being alone.  Yeah, but what can you do about it?!  It's like, "Duh, Ralph!"

[Margm]

My dad was a bluegrass/old country music fan and participant.  Daddy had the tremor like I inherited from him.  He would sing me to sleep with Jimmie Rodgers's "All Around the Watertank" and that probably is not the name.  He knew all his old songs.  Daddy could play any musical instrument and his music came from a genre of old country, blues, folk and bluegrass.  On Monday nights (before A/C) we had our own little town "Louisiana Hayride" music for years at our house.  People would sit in their yards and on our big front porch to hear the music.  His favorite was, of course, Jimmie Rodgers from Meridian, Mississippi.  He was called "The Singing Brakeman" and "The Blue Yodeler" and my daddy could yodel with the best.  Jimmie Rodgers lived from 1897 to 1933.  My dad lived from 1919 to 1984.  I awoke every morning to the red and black plastic radio on top of the refrigerator turned to KWKH, Shreveport which carried the country format until the 2000's.  Then it switched to sports radio.  (Daddy was gone by then.) Before that though, all us country kids woke up each school morning listening to Red Souvine, Webb Pierce, Hank Williams, Kitty Wells, Faron Young, and we had the famous Louisiana Hayride in Shreveport.  I knew nothing but country, so I am, had to be, country.  .On my wedding  day a man named Willard Cox came to the front of the house and talked to Daddy and me.  (He was a friend of my dad's). He was the patriarch of "The Cox Family" and you can hear them on movies that play bluegrass in the background.  Willard passed away last week.  Billy liked music, to listen to.  Was not a big music fan.  My dad was the only one in a close family that had the talent to play any instrument "by ear" which meant he picked it up and he played and sang not really knowing the notes.  Did not keep him from playing with bands in the area and in later years they entertained the residents of the nursing homes.  I was very aware of Elvis, The Everly Brothers, and some like that, but the Beatles never hit home with me.  My dad's friend would sing Elvis songs for me and an old Bob Luman song called "Red Cadillac and a Black Mustache"   So you see where my down to earth countryness comes from. 

My granddaughter is a music aficionado.  She knows popular music back to Sinatra, and loves it.  (She very much dislikes country music)  In my elderly years I listen to one song of Led Zeppelin, all of Queen, Journey, all the old groups from the 80's, 90's and now.  I listen to old country when I am by myself going back up into Arkansas.  Would like to hear Slim Whitman again.  George Jones and Merle Haggard make me cry, so I don't listen to them.  

Living now, we lose something in the interpretation.   

[KarenK]

Marg,

Being from West Virginia, Ron was Bluegrass all the way. My first visit there, the porches were full of old guys and their banjos. In fact, my BIL is an excellent banjo player. We had a ton of CD's that I got rid of after Ron left. Most of them were just too twangy for me.

When I was 11 and shoveling(for free rides) at the stable in Colter Bay, Wy, we drove in to Jackson Hole and I bought my first "45's", "Don't Take Your Guns To Town" by Johnny Cash and "Please Help Me, I'm Fallin'" by Hank Locklin. I was hooked. I guess that era of country music just spoke to me. On the awards show, Dolly said she heard if you played a country record backwards, you'd get your house back, your dog back, and your wife would come back. If it were only that easy................

[Gwenivere]

I love what Dolly said.  If only........  There is some country I like in classics like Patsy Cline.  I am more into country rockish stuff.  More upbeat even if it’s about something sad.  Used to go dancing all the time and that was really fun.  My former husband and I did some amazing stuff.  Twirls and spins.  I just downloaded a new song by Luke Bryan called What She Wants Tonight.  Reminded me of Steve and my younger years when love and sex were so intense.  I love Reba and Dolly.  Reba’s a good actress too.  Ah, to be so talented.  Steve was folk music.  He did covers of top 40 when he started ou  got into redoing classics and eventually writing his own.  I’m really hard rock at the core so it was quite the span of music around here.  He played the banjo and flute for a short time, but guitar, bass and keyboards were his go to's.

[MartyT]

Something my daddy taught me: You can't play a sad song on a banjo. ❤️

 

[widow'15]

7 hours ago, Marg M said:

I was very aware of Elvis, The Everly Brothers, and some like that, but the Beatles never hit home with me.  My dad's friend would sing Elvis songs for me and an old Bob Luman song called "Red Cadillac and a Black Mustache".  

Marge:  Oh yes I too was very aware of Elvis as a teenager.  Growing up in New Orleans as a teenager in the late fifties I stood in line for hours to get in to see Elvis perform at the Municipal Auditorium.  Lucky for myself and my girl friend we were on the second row from the stage.  We giggled, screamed and cried as we watched him sing and gyrate those hips.  Another  summer evening one of my girl friends had heard Elvis was again in New Orleans and was sighted at the  Bali Hai (spell?) Restaurant at Lake Pontchartrain Beach having dinner.  Off we went - we lived close to the Lake, and managed to get a few feet from him as he ate.  Silly teenagers, but fun memories.

My family were all country folk from Choctaw County, Mississippi, so I was always hearing country music on the radio or phonograph.   I never met my grandfather, but I have his old fiddle that he played and supposedly was the top fiddler in his little town. 

Thanks for the memories, Dee.

 

 

[KarenK]

So true about the bango, Marty. My BIL plays a mean "Deliverance".

Don't know much about folk music, Gwen. My knowledge is limited to Arlo Guthrie's "City Of New Orleans" and "Alice's Restaurant". Haven't heard them in ages, but love them both. Almost forgot Joan Baez, one of my very favorites.

Dee,  Ricky Nelson came to one of the bar/clubs here when he was a bit older and in his country phase. Ran out of seating so they shuffled us to the floor right in front of the stage. Sat about 3 feet from him(swoon)! He looked so handsome in his brown cord jacket. Oh, to be 25 again. I've been to a few concerts and it's funny how different the crowds are. Respecful at Kitaro, wild and crazy at Aerosmith, laid back at Johnny Rivers, rambunctious at Brooks and Dunn, stoned at Moody Blues, and all of the above at Eagles, which was a huge crowd at the ASU stadium. Loved them all!

[widow'15]

7 minutes ago, KarenK said:

 

Dee,  Ricky Nelson came to one of the bar/clubs here when he was a bit older and in his country phase. Ran out of seating so they shuffled us to the floor right in front of the stage. Sat about 3 feet from him(swoon)! He looked so handsome in his brown cord jacket. Oh, to be 25 again. I've been to a few concerts and it's funny how different the crowds are. Respecful at Kitaro, wild and crazy at Aerosmith, laid back at Johnny Rivers, rambunctious at Brooks and Dunn, stoned at Moody Blues, and all of the above at Eagles, which was a huge crowd at the ASU stadium. Loved them all!

Karen K:  Yes I remember how handsome Ricky Nelson was - And yes, it would great to be 25 again and so carefree.  Sounds like you did get to see quite a few concerts - How fun. 

My husband had all kinds of music in his collection -  His selection was as versatile as he was.  Among his collection was "Dueling Banjos - Deliverance".   We did get to see Roy Clark once and his banjo talents - I think it was in Seattle many years ago.   Dee

[Gwenivere]

Ah yes, The Eagles.  One of my all time favorites.  Great songs.  I used to commute thru Winslow, AZ and Albuquerque and every time I went thru there (you had to take local streets at the time) Take It Easy played in my head.  Absolutely loved Glenn Frey's voice.  Easy on the eyes too!  😍

[Margm]

My close friend (since childhood) and I married boys from the same little town.  Billy and I got these two together and he was best man at their wedding three days before ours.  They had two girls and our kids grew up together.  My kids still refer to her as "aunt."  Her first husband passed away in early 2000's.  Two years later she married again, he had a heart attack on their honeymoon (his wife had passed away also, he was a couple of years younger than my friend) and she took care of a progressively worse disease process for 12-14 years.  I don't know how many really.  She never complained.  She did say she was sore one time when she fell on the stairs and hurt her ribs, but she had a husband to take care of.  At the end of last year she lost the second husband and the problems she was supposed to take care of in her own body, she had ignored them.  This morning she had the aortic valve replaced.  She did mention that her legs were swelling where it was hard to get around and yes, she knew about the problem years ago, but she was a caretaker and ignored her symptoms.  Happily, this was able to be corrected this morning and maybe she might need a little more care, but now she has time to take care of them, and I think she will.  

I wondered why I avoid the things that Billy and I found so much pleasure in together and found out my friend avoided the same things, only now she grieves two husbands, the one  she lost the first time, her children's dad, the one she was angry at for leaving (why do we do this when we know they would not have left if they could have helped it?)  Both were good men and both were lucky to have my friend as their wife.  

I am happy to report she is doing very good after heart surgery.  I woke up this morning thinking I had to be quiet getting up so as not to wake up Billy. (He would not have complained), but I knew he read into the a.m. each morning.  Usually, this phenomenon of feeling him beside me disappears as soon as it enters my mind, I don't dwell on it, but this morning it stayed with me long enough to look and he was not beside me, of course.  I do have to get rid of this king sized bed and get possibly a big twin (I saw they came in that size).  I don't mind feeling him close to me, but I do mind that he is really not there.  

To Kay, and those in the northern areas, I just opened my windows.  We are at the time where we turned the heat on the other night, turned the A/C on for a few minutes yesterday, and it is supposed to rain and a cold front come in this week end.  This is swamp weather (even though these are the piney hills of Louisiana).  This is the first time we have had windows to open.  In the house and then the other apartment), it was easier to use the A/C and heat rather than the humid weather we have in this area.  Stay warm my friends, or stay cool (those in Florida and coastal areas).  But one thing I enjoyed about the hills of Arkansas) was the seasonal weather.  Although, this is seasonal for Louisiana.  

[kayc]

This is the forecast here this week... https://forecast.weather.gov/MapClick.php?lat=43.80009302166679&lon=-122.41395950317383&site=pqr&smap=1&marine=0&unit=0&lg=en#.VZ5xPflVhBc

Will be going through the firewood!

Marg, I remember you telling us about this friend...I'm glad she was finally able to get some help for herself.  She sounds like a wonderful woman, caregivers usually are.  Now it's time to look after herself!

[Margm]

The move and expenses left me with almost a minus amount in checking and a 12 dollar savings.  Scott went over with me to finish up.  No electricity, so I could not vacuum, had already done it once.  They have a large deposit that I had heard they do not give back, so it was pretty darn clean and they will go in and completely clean it.  The drive to the new apartment, again, like I said, is less than half a mile.  But, I had a sadness leaving this place.  I made it down those four wide, deep concrete steps the last time.  It was a feeling I had fled away from the sorrow of the other home where Billy left me to this safe place.  On the half mile back to the driveway I sat my purse on the passenger side and pretended it was Billy's leg, like we used to ride.  That place seemed to protect me even though it would have killed me with the steps and the nasty washing machines and dryers that tore up our clothes.  It was such a job going and finding a washer that worked and a dryer (5 out of 10) that worked and fighting 105 units for a machine, not knowing what germs you were washing with and the hassle of finding a vacant machine.  People would wash on the week end and just leave them till Monday.  I don't have to do that anymore, but it was still a place that seemed to protect me.  Kinda sad, but it is for the best. 

We do what we can.  I do not know where anything is.  My daughter and granddaughter have set things up that we need and Kelli has decorated.  I think I have been more morose though, not even wanting to shower. (I guess I figured people would not come around me).  Staying in one place for 100 years or moving twice in four years.  Does not matter.  Does not bring them back, we know that is not going to happen, so we do whatever we can to try to make it easier on us right now.  I cannot take another move (alive), I am just now quitting hurting everywhere.  Bitch, bitch, bitch.  I've learned how to do that very well.  (Somehow, I think it was always there waiting to explode). 

I hope you all have the happiest Thanksgiving you can have under all the circumstances.  Family, no family, solitary, go buy that "Big Man" turkey dinner, open a can of cranberry sauce and watch all Dolly's little movies.  My heart is with you all. 

[widow'15]

42 minutes ago, Marg M said:

But, I had a sadness leaving this place.  I made it down those four wide, deep concrete steps the last time.  It was a feeling I had fled away from the sorrow of the other home where Billy left me to this safe place.  On the half mile back to the driveway I sat my purse on the passenger side and pretended it was Billy's leg, like we used to ride.  That place seemed to protect me even though it would have killed me with the steps and the nasty washing machines and dryers that tore up our clothes.  

Kinda sad, but it is for the best. 

We do what we can.  I do not know where anything is.  My daughter and granddaughter have set things up that we need and Kelli has decorated.  I think I have been more morose though, not even wanting to shower. (I guess I figured people would not come around me).  

Does not bring them back, we know that is not going to happen, so we do whatever we can to try to make it easier on us right now. 

I hope you all have the happiest Thanksgiving you can have under all the circumstances.  Family, no family, solitary, go buy that "Big Man" turkey dinner, open a can of cranberry sauce and watch all Dolly's little movies.  My heart is with you all. 

Marg:  Not only is moving expensive, exhausting, emotional and confusing you were so brave to take this on.  Whatever the reason for the move you are amazing to have accomplished this venture.  The stair issue is definitely a concern - it doesn't take much to lose balance and tumble down breaking a hip at this age.  You are correct we need to make things easy for us now that we are left alone.  You know Billy wants that for you.

You are blessed to have kids that pitched in and helped through this move.

You mentioned Dolly Parton, I doubt if you had the chance to see her show last night.  I started not to watch it, but gave in and happy I did.  It brought back so many memories of my aunt who adored Dolly Parton's music and all country music.  She wanted so much to go to the Grand Ole Opry and had I not been in the middle of raising my kids I wished I could have given her that trip.

Thank you for the Thanksgiving wishes and your heart.  And, you have a Happy Thanksgiving in your new safe place.  Dee

   

[Margm]

25 minutes ago, widow'15 said:

You mentioned Dolly Parton, I doubt if you had the chance to see her show last night.

Yep, I saw it.  I have also seen 2-3 of her little movies and it tickles me that all my sweet, tight-laced friends will watch them thinking they are a similar to Hallmark show.  Dolly takes controversial subjects and splats them right on out.  I admire her for being married 53-years, I admire her husband for hanging in there and not going to any of her shows and probably not having any jealousy.  I just plain love Dolly, and she can still wear those outfits at over 70-years old, still sing, and I admire her.  

Yes, I am tired.  Surprised I am so much more tired than before and sorta sad.  Well, that goes without saying, but it is almost too much memory to go back through.  So many of my friends have passed away and so many have dementia.  So many I need to go see, but again, I am selfish.  I protect me as much as possible.  

Really, I hope you all have as good a Thanksgiving as you can.  Will make my regular dressing (stuffing), but this year I bought two rotisserie chickens to go along with it instead of turkey.  Instant Thanksgiving.  My sister has filled my refrigerator with pies and sweets (we don't do much cooking) except the dressing and mashed/creamed (to me) potatoes.  I bought canned turkey gravy if the dressing is too dry, and also cranberry sauce.  Seems we have to carry on tradition, even if it is instant tradition.  My aunt used to use 12 whole eggs in her dressing (stuffing) and I use egg beaters.  (I hate cooking.  Y'all do your best.  I think Kay might be snowed in.  Thinking about y'all.  

 

[Gwenivere]

Glad you got thru your move, Marg.  Sounds exhausting physically and emotionally.  I think we all get somewhat settled wherever we are so there is always a little tugging at you. At least you have laundry covered now.  I do love I can do mine whenever I want in a warm house.  

I like your instant Thanksgiving dinner.  I’m hoping where I plan to get take out is not too crowded.  Seems there are a lot of people that are alone.  Don’t know if I find solace in that or not.  

I had planned to do some shopping today but went to Urgent Care after counseling for my leg swelling and pain.  Took 2 hours so had to get home to feed the kids.  Doc took some blood but was baffled as always.  He thinks no infection and said maybe more ultrasound tho I’ve had that twice.  I explained it was the loss of sleep that is getting to me as much as the pain.   I have orders waiting for a CT scan waiting on my insurance to approve.  So it’s continue on as I have been til that happens.  Came home and my pillar candles were delivered but the driver left them at the bottom of the steps.  Heavy package to get in here and I tried not unpacking right then it but did because I keep thinking it won’t hurt too bad.  I need to shower tonight too so this will be a real test of my back and legs.  I think I’m a closet masochist.  🙂

we should all check in on how our holiday went.  Kay with the missing snow, Marg with her Charlie Brown mix, George after his heart scare and all with our memories in overdrive.  

I was wished a happy thanksgiving leaving the doc.  What can you say except same to you.  Heard people talking about all the stuff they needed to do to prepare.  This is when I.realy wish there were no cell phones and people actually thought it was rude ease dropping.  If you got too close to someone on a pay phone they’d give you the evil eye.  Ah, those were the days!  

So I wish you all Thanksgiving.  Happy doesn’t fit in our world.  Maybe Kevin?  I’ll start the topic and we can fill in Friday.  

[kayc]

Made it to the dentist and back yesterday, got more snow last night, wasn't supposed to but there it is, not a lot but with 22 degrees it's going to be very icy today.  Can hardly walk on my ramp.  With son emailing me last night after I went to bed, he seemed to expect me for TG w/o telling me, I already made plans by now, guess if they want me there they need to mention it ahead of time, not the day of, I can't wait until the day to make plans.  It's getting harder and harder for me to go there in the wintertime.  Last week it was cold when I got home but this week it's be nigh impossible to spend the night as it's way too cold to let the fire go out.

Marg, so glad you're moved and now perhaps you can settle in and make this place your "safe place."

Gwen, I hope you call Fed Ex or whoever the delivery person was and put a note on file to deliver to the TOP of the steps as you can't wrestle it up there.  I've had to put a note with both Fed Ex and UPS to use the BACK door not the front and have a sign out Beware of Dog, Use Back Door, yet still Fed Ex screws up and leaves the gate open.  What if Arlie was still here?  He'd either be after the driver or escaped out the gate.  Makes me mad they can't read but still I persist because if I ever do get another dog I don't want them letting him out.  Besides the back patio is protected and I shovel the ramp, I do not shovel to the front door as it's gravel walkway.  Don't use it in the winter.

Marg your saying you're broke reminded me...yesterday I tried to schedule my Visa Pmt with USB and they said there was no $...I looked and saw I had $2.02 in my checking!  That's the account I used to pay my property taxes and since it went up considerably, it wiped me out.  Glad I discovered it, I barely have time to transfer $ from my 1st Tech account in time to clear and schedule the visa pmt.  I cut it too close.  I don't know where my brain is.

 

[Margm]

I really let things slip up but when you have to pay a deposit "again" on things and the ball is already rolling downhill you forget about important things, and I have to count my blessings when I  think that paper towels are so important.  The Dollar Tree took my last dollars but how can I complain.  It goes back to the man who cried because he had no shoes, until he saw the man with no feet.  So many blessings left uncounted.  My crosses are not up in my house yet, don't know which box they are in, but somehow without my crosses I forget tto pray.  Silly of me.  I've put my rolls out to rise, have to make the cornbread and boil the chicken, put the two frozen rotisserie chicks in the oven to warm.  So much to do.  Please be safe my friends and please be thankful for what we have.  Our loss hangs around our neck and in our heart.  Coming from a huge ole country family with two different sides of the creeks to travel, from the Bodcau Bayou, my mom's huge boisterous family to the closer to Dorcheat Bayou,, my dad's quiet, sweet family, and now all gone, including Billy's fighting family along the Dorcheat Bayou.  We will do our best.  And we will list what we are thankful for, even to our dwindling few and all the others with their smaller families.  We once were a formidable large crew scattered through two parishes (counties), and now we are so few.  New families, new customs.  Have as happy a Thanksgiving as you can.    

[kayc]

1 hour ago, Marg M said:

It goes back to the man who cried because he had no shoes, until he saw the man with no feet. 

Yep!

[kevin]

KayC,  I see the border was closed around Sweet Grass Montana this morning because of the snow was over two feet in places....about 200 miles East of you, but still lots of snow your side of the mountains....... I am cool up here(5-10 F degrees) but only a skiff of snow lately.....

[kayc]

I don't have a lot.  It was snowing sideways yesterday but then it changed, can't complain.  Esp. being as you have it much colder!  Keep warm!

[KarenK]

Old age has finally caught me. I NEVER fall down, but took a nose drive in the hallway a little while ago. NOT FUN! Hallway is pitch black and heaven forbid I should turn on the light. I tripped over the black dog who was invisible. Didn't break anything, but tore up my elbow. Scared my son right out of the bathroom.  lol Think I' ll go lay down for a bit and turn on the light from now on.

[Gin]

Karen,  keep that light on!  Hope you did not do too much damage!  Gin

[MartyT]

Yes, Karen, by all means, please be careful! Last week my sister tripped over a pillow on the floor (yes, a pillow) when she got up in the middle of the night ~ twisted her ankle and broke her foot! No pins or surgery required, but still, she is required to keep her foot in a "boot" for the next six weeks until it heals . . .

[KarenK]

Well, forget sleep for now. Elbow is hurting too bad. Took a chunk out of it and I'm definitely a WUSS when it comes to pain. So sorry to hear about your sister, Marty. And right during the holidays, too. Maybe she can do her shopping online. It sure is a lot easier.