If You're Going Through Hell

[Gwenivere]

We’re getting hit by snow too.  It’s a mess, but nothing like Kevin as far as temps and depths I’m sure.  Coincidentally Everest was on one of the hospital channels.   That is a thrill seeking I do not understand at all.  Give me calm and boring any day.  In my youth I wanted to sky dive, but never could summon the nerve.  H*ll on wheels earthbound, but none of that adrenaline filled rush seeking thru crazed acts.  Heard on the news a child died in a fire.  So very sad.  

How long do you deal with such extreme temps, Kevin?  And you, Marg?  

I remember when Asian pears were the rage.  People were giving baskets of them as gifts.  Now they are prolific.

 

 

[KarenK]

Give me small peaks anyday. Well, not now,but way back when. Climbing so high that you need oxygen or free solo, I just don't get, but we're all different. We did have fun wilderness hiking or offroading to new places. Would probably still be offroading if I could afford the gas.

How are you feeling, Gwen? Any improvement in the fluid situation or possibility of going home? Hope the snow is not too bad when you do leave.

[Margm]

In my 30's we climbed (not pro climbing), just getting from one point to next.  I heard voices above us on the trail on Signal Mountain in Pinos Altos, New Mexico.  Billy heard them too (he said) until there were no people at the end of the trail at the top of the mountain.  Made me seem superstitious (I am) when my telling the story and he said he didn't hear anything.  I read about people hearing the voices (after I had heard them) and it was not a fluke, (well, maybe it was), but I heard them.  We would climb so high and at Mesa Verde I could not breathe the height was too high.  I was only in my early 30's.  Yesterday I walked down the driveway to see if the mail truck was at the end of the apartments (we were expecting a package) and climbing back up the drive way made me think of Mesa Verde in flatland Louisiana.  It was a little Louisiana hill.  Tiny.  Old legs.  Old lungs.

This wet weather plays havoc with my sister's lungs.  She coughs a lot and takes a lot of breathalyzers.   But, when I was out west my allergy was even worse.  We have rain and thunder with lightening this morning.  Not real cold.  Our lakes do flood homes often.  We have a lot of lakes and bayous and road closings.  No ice or snow though.  I was looking at my memories on FB from nine years ago and we had snow packed with temps of  12 degrees.  That is less than 200 miles up the road.  I prefer high land and temperatures here but hate my sister to have trouble breathing.  

Can I say "Yea LSU"?  I said it anyhow.  (Last night). We won college football, #1, no games lost.  Best little (big) QB from Ohio made us #1.  

[kayc]

Kevin & Marg, sorry to hear of your extreme weather.  We've been slammed with snow, they predicted 1-3" yesterday, we got 15"  I can't shovel that much.  T.V. went out, elec. went out.  Slept 4 hours.  Elec came back, thankfully.  Getting more snow...

Gwen, any update on your lungs?  

[kevin]

KayC, that is lots of snow, dry stuff I hope....Marg , I just read about the southern Tornado's, just plain devastating...Gwen , my sister lives in Victoria, and there getting hit with bad weather also...Vancouver almost shutdown........I have 4-5 days left of the real cold , then justnormal winter...Very little snow is the upside....this is Hi of the day!!

Edited January 14, 2020 by kevin
omission

[kayc]

OMG, Kevin!  I can't imagine weather that cold!  I think my coldest was -12 in Eugene when I was young...I had to wait for the bus to get home and they were on an hour delay, so I was hopping up and down (back in the days when women wore dresses & heels to work) trying to keep warm, at least I had a suede coat that came to my calves, when I finally got into town the business owner opened his store back up to sell me a pair of boots!  Nowadays I don't think they'd do that.

Stay in and keep warm!

[Gin]

This has been a rough week.  My brother has some dementia.  So hard to see him deteriorate.  He used be the head of engineering and now he can not remember where he went for lunch.  His wife of 61 years died suddenly this past Sunday.  Have no idea how he can possibly live by himself.  His 2 daughters are with him, so I hope something can be arranged.  I am not comfortable asking him to live with me.  I can barely take care of myself.  He can not be left alone.  

Then my 47 yr old son had a motorcycle accident in Mexico.  A "kid" that age is not interested in listening to his mother.  He injured his ankle and foot.  I told him to get it xrayed.  No.  Now he can not walk and he thinks it is infected.   Have to get thru funeral first.

 

[Gwenivere]

My dear Gin,  I am so sorry to hear of this sudden crisis.  I totally understand how you could not support your brothers needs.  I’m glad he has the daughters, but they are in shock mode too.  But then, that is when things get done robotically for mental protection.  It’s such a chaotic time.  I don’t know if you were close to his wife and how you feel.  I hope your son gets the medical help he needs and soon.  We all know things can rapidly progress to bad levels.  I’m thinking of you and your full plate.  Many hugs to you!  ❤️❤️❤️

[brat#2]

Oh Gin, I'm so sorry you are having to go through all these things at once.  Remember we are with you and you will be in my thoughts.  Hugs

 

[Margm]

I'm sorry Gin.  This aging process is brutal.

[MartyT]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this challenging time, dear Gin ❤️

[widow'15]

Gin:  So sorry you and your family have experienced such a loss.  Please know you are in my thoughts.  Dee

[kevin]

Gin, my condolences on the  passing of your Sister in Law.........Too much of that going on at our age....I can relate to "children not Listening"....I got to step back and remember what I was like in my 40's..a little stubborn)...now I chuckle when kids ask for advice...Cold is getting worse, heat tape gave up the ghost and my water froze up...now I'm packing water, just like camping trip(living the dream)......plumber kid did some repairs/replacement last night but no success, still -33, didn't expect immediate results.....three more days of record cold...take care

[kayc]

Gin,

I am so sorry for the loss of your SIL.  You had her in your family a long time and I'm sure the loss is keenly felt.  That it leaves you with concerns about your brother makes it all the harder.  I am glad you recognize your limitations...it will be up to his daughters to make decisions for his care and living situation.  If they do not, a call to Adult and Senior Services could get their involvement, I know the contact we have in our sleepy little town is very warm and caring and knows of resources to refer family to.  Sometimes we feel we're overstepping with our involvement but sometimes we have to do what is necessary.  See what the girls come up with first and don't be afraid to voice your concerns to them.  Sometimes people can be in denial or bury their heads in the sand because they don't feel up to dealing with it but calling specifics to their attention can shake them out of their complacency.

As for your 47 year old son, he is an adult, and I feel for you because just like I'd love to put my daughter's life in order, I cannot.  We can give them our best advice and it's grievous to watch them not listen, but he will figure things out...now or later.  I hope it's sooner rather than later.

Right now, as you say, it's getting through the funeral.  You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, dear Gin, you are one of us.

[KarenK]

Gin,

I'm so sorry for your loss and for what your poor brother is going through. I hope his daughters will be able to make living arrangements for him.

I hope your son will take your advice and get proper care for his leg.

Thinking of you.

[kevin]

Small break in the weather, about 20F, I decided to play Mr. Plumber and am in the process of heat taping and insulating  about 50 feet of plastic sewer line....The project is difficult because of the super cramped space.....I have a three day window to get this done(I got about 20 feet done)....My option was wait till Tuesday and pay plumber or do it myself....if I don't succeed Tuesday is still there...I'm stubborn so I will make this work ......But the other news was someone rear ended me..$2400 damage. body shop has me in the Q Feb 14th....This is Winter from Hell...BP down, Blood Sugar 9.5( still high with diet) 

[Margm]

On 1/14/2020 at 3:15 AM, Gwenivere said:

How long do you deal with such extreme temps, Kevin?  And you, Marg?

We are in a very humid country down here, bayou's, swamps, and we are actually in the piney woods north in the state, near the Arkansas line.  Our temperatures were "warned" on the weather report last night that it was going to be "cold."  (In the 30's).  I took Bri to counseling yesterday in the "big city" and traveled in supposed cold rain all day, but it was actually only in the 50's, so no ice.  It can turn on us in February though and we "might" see snow that doesn't stick.  Where we lived in AR, 175 miles north of us, we usually had a snow, thus the mention somewhere of snow ice cream.  Typing medical reports, orthopedic doctors were very busy in those icy months and at my  age I hate to get out in any ice.  That makes being in a more tropical climate safer (for me).  I love mountains, rocks, desert, and always wanted to visit eastern Canada above Seattle, but never got further than the Four Corners out west.  Now, if my legs keep working, I'm happy to be a flatlander again and appreciate days that start out cold, but evenings where you might have to use the A/C again.  (Despite the floods and tornadoes)

Have not read much lately, but Gwen, I hope you are doing better and get to go home.  Kevin, you be careful.  (I always feel if I don't tell my kids to "be careful" that something bad might happen.  Just have to say it often.  And the rest of y'all, Kay in all your snow, Gwen in all your cold and snow and rain, please all y'all try to stay comfortable.  I think Gin is in the windy city so I know by now she knows to stay warm.  I hope none of you are snowed in.  Karen, I think your temperatures are probably comfortable.  I think of y'all often (but Billy is still my constant thought.).

They are talking about doing a splenectomy on my  daughter.  Most doctors do not want to touch her because of her von Willebrand's (Factor VIII) bleeding disorder, but her platelet count goes out of control.  She is so strong mentally she fights it until she can't and then will sleep almost two days.  She is very immune suppressed because of the radiation and chemo they had to give her to kill out the teratomas, but she will get a burst of energy and burn herself out.  Then she is strong again for a few days and will overdo things.  Mama's never quit worrying.  

[widow'15]

1 hour ago, kevin said:

Small break in the weather, about 20F, I decided to play Mr. Plumber and am in the process of heat taping and insulating  about 50 feet of plastic sewer line....The project is difficult because of the super cramped space.....I have a three day window to get this done(I got about 20 feet done)....My option was wait till Tuesday and pay plumber or do it myself....if I don't succeed Tuesday is still there...I'm stubborn so I will make this work

......But the other news was someone rear ended me..$2400 damage.

Kevin:  Sorry you are dealing with the frigid weather and car issue.   Stubbornness is a good character trait.  At least you aren't giving up.  Keep going with the next 30 Ft.  I envy your youth and energy to get this done.  Dee

[widow'15]

26 minutes ago, Marg M said:

They are talking about doing a splenectomy on my  daughter.  Most doctors do not want to touch her because of her von Willebrand's (Factor VIII) bleeding disorder, but her platelet count goes out of control.  She is so strong mentally she fights it until she can't and then will sleep almost two days.  She is very immune suppressed because of the radiation and chemo they had to give her to kill out the teratomas, but she will get a burst of energy and burn herself out.  Then she is strong again for a few days and will overdo things.  Mama's never quit worrying.  

Marg:  So true ....."Mama's never quit worrying".  Keeping you and your daughter in my thoughts. Dee

[Margm]

Off topic........no "going through hell" is a topic.  Have not done this in a long time, but guess I have done it before in four years, three months, six days, just break out crying.  Hit me out of nowhere, don't even know what was said, just mentioning how in sync he (Garth Brooks) and his wife are, performing together professionally, over all these years and Kelly Clarkson talking about working with her husband.  Kind of like a knife and all of a sudden I was crying and saw Billy in my mind.  It gets easier, but all of a sudden it rips the scar tissue off.  I'm back okay now, I can cry but it won't make him come back.  Just like always.  It does let up.  Nothing you can do about it.  No pills, words, music, no help.  That's life.......and death.  That is our punishment for loving, but I would not have missed even the bad parts, I'd do it all again. 

[iPraiseHim]

2 hours ago, Marg M said:

Off topic........no "going through hell" is a topic.  Have not done this in a long time, but guess I have done it before in four years, three months, six days, just break out crying.  Hit me out of nowhere, don't even know what was said, just mentioning how in sync he (Garth Brooks) and his wife are, performing together professionally, over all these years and Kelly Clarkson talking about working with her husband.  Kind of like a knife and all of a sudden I was crying and saw Billy in my mind.  It gets easier, but all of a sudden it rips the scar tissue off.  I'm back okay now, I can cry but it won't make him come back.  Just like always.  It does let up.  Nothing you can do about it.  No pills, words, music, no help.  That's life.......and death.  That is our punishment for loving, but I would not have missed even the bad parts, I'd do it all again. 

I agree. Next month, it will be five years since Rose Anne died. You would think I would get used to it but I just miss her more.  It still floors me and the crying hits me even now.  I agree with you Marg M.  We are still here for some reason. - Shalom

[kayc]

23 hours ago, kevin said:

Small break in the weather, about 20F, I decided to play Mr. Plumber and am in the process of heat taping and insulating  about 50 feet of plastic sewer line....The project is difficult because of the super cramped space.....I have a three day window to get this done(I got about 20 feet done)....My option was wait till Tuesday and pay plumber or do it myself....if I don't succeed Tuesday is still there...I'm stubborn so I will make this work ......But the other news was someone rear ended me..$2400 damage. body shop has me in the Q Feb 14th....This is Winter from Hell...BP down, Blood Sugar 9.5( still high with diet) 

Oh Kevin, that's a lot on your plate.  My BS was headed there, way too high for seven months (since Arlie's diagnosis and subsequent death), so I went to a drastic change.  My BS still isn't anywhere near where I want it in spite of the changed eating and losing weight.  I have 22 lbs to goal.  I keep doing my best, all I can do.

You're tackling a project I can't imagine.  You don't know any ditch diggers?  Where are all the teenage boys when we need them?!    

I'm sorry about your car, I hope it's all covered by insurance and they provide a loaner vehicle.

How your BP is down, I don't know, but praise the Lord for something good!

Marg, I pray all goes well for your daughter!  Keep that mustard seed handy!  I am sorry you're getting hit with tears, you and George both.  So many here going through so much...Gwen too. 

 

[scba]

17 hours ago, iPraiseHim said:

I agree. Next month, it will be five years since Rose Anne died. You would think I would get used to it but I just miss her more.  It still floors me and the crying hits me even now.  I agree with you Marg M.  We are still here for some reason. - Shalom

I am in year n.5 and I miss him more, not less. Did I survive? Yes. Can I make it? Yes. I guess. So far I have had.

But I miss him, I miss his presence in my life. All the much and the little that his presence involved. And I cannot explain why this is the way it has evolved. The thing about "his essence/legacy/love" that remains, well It hasn't made me miss him less, accept more and etc.

I too still cry at times the thought of him being gone, and it happens suddenly, out of nowhere. I'm back at crying at the bus stop. Sunglasses and Kleenex are always in my bag for this event. 

[Margm]

Ana, I try to stay away from the "toy" section of Walmart.  I would always leave Billy in the fishing supply section and that boy would still be in the same aisle when I was finished.  If I took him with me, I could not pick out anything, felt like I had to say "do you like this or that" and he would just boringly stand behind me.  He, Brianna and my Kelli are all alike.  They will not take the first item in line, they will move it out of the way and if there are more than two of the same, they will take the third..  So, it was easier for me to leave him in the "toy" section.  Now, I won't even go into it for a flashlight.  And the crying.  Well, I've always been able to let the tears flow, wipe my red runny nose, hold my head up, and no one notices or perhaps like a rapid animal, no one is fearless enough to make an encounter with me.  Brianna always asks me "are you angry with me?"  And, of course, I am not.  I'm afraid it was like my mom always said "if you make that kind of face, it will freeze that way."  Mine has frozen.  

[kevin]

KayC I got some good news yesterday, my sewer problem fix was successful electrical tape and the insulation...So happy Feel like a school kid and I'm back better than ever...Insurance contacted me and the deductible is waved and the loner vehicle will be set up on the 14th....The next cool weather will be nothing compared to this last one...Looking for Ground Hogs now, I want spring...