If You're Going Through Hell

[Margm]

The cute  waiter would say "call EMS, I'm not picking her up."  I've gained probably 25 pounds the last five years.  I really don't bounce anymore, just plop.

Y'all are all bionic women.  

[Gwenivere]

If that’s true, Marg, why do I frigging hurt so much?  I’m guessing Marty sets off all kinds of alarms going thru security checks.  🙂

[kayc]

I haven't even started, and that's fine, waiting on my doctor to start the process, it just is what it is, not an emergency, I've lived with it for 4 1/2 months already and it'll be much longer before I can do anything about it, shooting for next April, yes...surgery.  Frightening when you have no help.  I won't be able to use Kodie's Halti, maybe I can hire someone to walk him.  My sister suggested having someone take him in for a couple of weeks but honestly, he's my sanity right now, I've become so attached to him...and then too, he's also attached to me, this is his home.  I won't be able to do my job at the church either as I won't be able to write and it'll be too taxing on my hand for quite some time.  I can go with and walk someone through the process although it will be much slower than doing it myself!  I talked to my co-treasurer about it yesterday, she said I'd have to train her because it's been six years since she's done what I do and she's never used Excel.  Cooking may be a problem, dishes, everything.  Will probably buy paper plates.  I can't latch, unlatch his pen left handed so will probably have to have someone come work on it.  It's amazing the things your right hand affects!

11 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Don’t ever forget Karen’s advice if there are any more falls, wait for the cute waiter.  😎

Haha!  

Marty, I like that label, the Bionic Woman!  Sounds cool!  I'm sure it was rough going through each and every surgery!  I can't imagine...

[Margm]

Kay, there was a time that some of us would hire out to other hospitals part-time, then the pile-up at our hospital made it where we sometimes would work seven days a week 10 and more hours a day.  I developed carpal tunnel that could only be helped with splints at night or the pain and discomfort would keep me awake and splints would stick to the covers at night.  I did have carpal tunnel release on the right, but would not on the left after that.  Now that so many years have passed my right hand has to have help of the left to lift things, arthritis so bad and into my thumb.  I typed so much the pads of my fingers do not have full feeling in them.  It seems minor now after putting up with it so many years.  Taking anything out of the oven though, I have to have help.  

I have such minor problems compared to most of you.  

My granddaughter who lives in Savannah just left.  Her oldest daughter is fixing to be 17.  I am ancient.  (a lot of water has run under my bridge).  We had a good visit.  She has many ways of her grandmother even though we were estranged for so many years living on the Pacific coast and a bad divorce.  She has spent the last 3-4 weeks quarantined but could keep up her job with her laptop.  Her dad stayed upstairs and she and her youngest did not catch the virus.  He absolutely slept his off.  

[kayc]

This isn't carpal tunnel syndrome, it's from a sudden injury IN the carpal tunnel canal (location, not caused from overuse), the doctor differentiated that...my sister had the other and the healing from that went much smoother.  I have ALSO had that for years and managed it with my braces.  This does not respond to braces.  There is no relief from it.  My right hand feels totally numb/dead and it amazes me that it can have such immense unrelenting PAIN even while feeling dead!

I knew someone in her mid 90s who'd never had pain.  I can't imagine...

I'm glad you had a good visit with your granddaughter!

[Margm]

On 8/1/2020 at 11:32 AM, Marg M said:

I have such minor problems compared to most of you. 

That is why I said that.  It was a minor problem, manageable, but bothersome at the time.  At 78, I am lucky to be able to walk to the stove, much less bend and put things in it.  I still can though.  I feel very badly for those that suffer so much more than I did, because what I had obviously was such a bother, but not something I could not tolerate.  I did, I am.

Oh, I'm not 78 yet, I forgot.  Darn, I would have probably thought I was 79 next week.  

[Gwenivere]

Wish I could forget my age, tho it does nothing to change the maladies.  Bending must be cool, Marg.  My nemesis.  And walking, sitting, standing, sleeping.  

Being numb is awful with pain, Kay and I know it’s possible to have both.  My feet get that way.  What a bunch of old ladies, eh?

so what birthday will it be, Marg?  78 or younger?   Calls for a virtual cake til you get the real thing.  🎂

[Gin]

Marg, you are still a baby...81 here.

[KarenK]

Don't we get to start counting backward at some point?😁

[Gin]

Ok by me.

[Margm]

Born August 13, 1942.  My mom was in labor for eight days (in the hospital), our town physician was an alcoholic, but he was still a good GP.  He birthed all the kids in that little paper mill town, came to the homes, took payment in what they could give, bought medicine when they could not afford it and though my mom needed a cesarean, she saw an Angel sitting on her bed and was awarded a fire red haired baby (she never quit looking at me like she didn't know where I came from,) with her and my dad being brunettes, she was a great mom for about nine years and a noisy mom from then on out.  She kept me protected, fed, clothed and I am sure did her best.  I'm a different character and Billy, I am sure, has stars in his crown for putting up with me 54 years.  And Gin, I hope your knees are okay.  I just went down to pay my rent (put in drop box) and I have to go down a steep incline and climb back up it, and quite a few steps.  My knees must be okay.  They made it.  I cannot brag too much, it was very many steps and I'm so out of shape.   

 

[kayc]

Marg, if my sister Donna were still alive we'd be celebrating her birthday in two days.  I miss her.  She had a hard life, being quadriplegic, and unable to communicate very well, they severely damaged her vocal chords when the did the emergency tracheotomy that saved her life.  She was an amazing inspiration....the accident that render her such took her three year old baby boy, Jimmy.  Mick lived through it, he was four months old, my parents eventually adopted him when his dad gave him up.  They'd raised him since he was an infant excepting the year his dad kidnapped him.  He went through some rough patches when he was a teen but he turned out great, I'm proud of him!  Donna had to adjust to so much but she learned the art of enjoying what good there is.  I wrote her a letter a few months before she died, telling her how much she had inspired me.  She never mentioned it but I'm glad I told her.

I hope you have a great birthday!

Cindy, our pastor's wife took me to lunch yesterday, wonderful place!  I need to take my sister Peggy there.  I owe her a birthday lunch, long overdue because of the pandemic.  

 

[Margm]

We are thankful for the blessings we are given.  Let a guy on my FB, second time asking, and he loaded it down with political rhetoric.  I don't do politics but I do tell them I won't block them, I just will snooze them 30 days, or in this guy's case, I will unfriend him.  We don't know each other that much.  Scott's old school buddy jumped on a non-political note with his religious political ignorance, and that is all some blowhards are.  Scott told him he had served our country, he still works with veterans, and can this guy say the same.  We all have our own feelings about things, we just are trying to stay healthy.  Just like that though, a lifelong friendship ended.  That young man has been trouble before and stalks people he once knew.  He was a well liked football player, a down the street neighbor that has become some fanatical stalker.  A very angry person.  I'm sorry for people like that.   

Your sister was a brave woman Kay.  I'm glad her other son grew up the way your folks raised him.  

My sister teaches at a college where most of the students could grow up with bad attitudes.  I was happy to hear their attitude was that they were born in this country and had as much right to live here and be an American as anyone else.  Not angry young people and those are the kind of people I hope we can leave our country in their hands when we have to leave.  I cannot make much change, except in my own attitude, and being born in the 1940's, I have had attitude adjustments my whole life.  I get taught new lessons often.  

[kayc]

I woke up to find a total stranger stalking me on FB, he "liked" about 30 of my posts from back a year, two, five even!  It creeped me out.  His profile looked to be invented, no family or anything personal.  Telling me I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, ha!  I know that's BS!  Blocked him.  At first I still saw his comment, it scared me that it hadn't taken but apparently there's a lag time in the blocking, it's gone now.

[Gwenivere]

I guess I miss out on a lot not doing social media.  But not enough to make me go back to Facebook ever again.  When Steve set up an account for me. I lost hours with no benefit.  It’s too impersonal for me and I don’t have anything to post that would be of interest as I don’t have any true friends there anymore.  Problem solved.  

[Margm]

2 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

 It’s too impersonal for me

My granddaughter has been on all of them for five seconds.  When she was in Arkansas she told how another girl had bullied her, to a friend, and that friend had a friend who Bri did not know, from a state she has never been in, but Bri is so darn innocent and sweet, other people want to fight her battles.  The police came to our house and wanted to speak with Bri.  Brianna had no idea who the girl was or how it happened.  She was about 14.  It scared her for life.  She will get on one and then she will worry all night, cannot sleep, so she gets off.  Right now, she is on none.  She is afraid she might unconsciously  even do something in her sleep.  The phone does not, and has not stayed in her room at night..  It is some evil thing.  But she has a best friend that they text all the time.  No social network at all.  My family and I talk to each other and our old friends on it.  I get rid of anything political.  I'm afraid I do use it.  But, if I get too perturbed, I know how to delete my post, which I have done several times.

I keep hearing my mama in my head "fools names and fools faces always appear in public places."  Here I am.

 

[Margm]

Usually they are old family friends and relatives.  I have two I unfollowed today because of politics.  Hard core people.  I have not had any stalking though I did become friends with someone from, I think Finland, a professor (he probably was the town's livestock manager, if that.  Nothing intelligent was said, so I blocked him.  Sometimes some of my sister's intelligent people and I cross paths and I turn around and go back.  Kinda like penpals when we were kids.  I wrote to a nice Japanese boy when I was 15 or so that sent three pair of chopsticks.  That was fun.  I really don't have that many and they are mostly cousins, classmates, family.  

[Kieron]

1 hour ago, Marg M said:

"fools names and fools faces always appear in public places."

I had to sit down before I fell down laughing.  That's THE most perfect way to put it, and it's funny because it's true!  I love it.  I have already memorized it.  🤣

[kayc]

16 hours ago, Marg M said:

fools names and fools faces always appear in public places.

Does that mean politicians??    Might be some truth to that!

[KarenK]

Having a tough day. I ended up needing two teeth pulled instead of one pulled and one filled, so I went this morning for one of them. It hurts like a son of a gun. I think because it was the tooth causing my infections. That area kind of hurt all the time even when it wasn't swollen. So maybe that recurring problem is solved. The dentist sent my top denture to be reconfigured as the other broken off tooth was the anchor for that contraption. Will have that one pulled in the next couple of weeks. Oh, what fun! Not the best way to break the monotony.

[MartyT]

Oooh, Karen! So sorry! How awful for you. Sending healing thoughts to you! 

[Gwenivere]

That’s a Monday kind of thing Karen!   So sorry to hear you had so much 'fun'.  I hope they at least gave you some good pain killers, I always figure that’s the least they can do.  Get to zone out for awhile.  And yes, there are better ways to break the monotony like making sourdough bread or playing in traffic.  Dental stuff sucks, but I do hope it stops the repeated infections as a small positive.  

[kayc]

I'm sorry Karen, esp. when you weren't expecting all of this!  Dental work is a double whammy, first the pain, then the bill.

[Gwenivere]

Does anyone have a time or times if day, aside from waking up, that hits hard every day?   I get hit around 3pm that drives me out to find some way to kill some time.  It does help me for awhile to have a better perspective.   I get It around 8pm and then after dinner.  It’s like clockwork every day.   Used to be going to bed was welcomed, but it’s a big ritual now complicated with other issues.  I know mine are from being alone.   The very few times someone has been here or I’m talking on the phone it feels less intense, but it’s still there.  The pandemic makes it worse.  Only so many times you can keep going to the same places over and over again.  

[Kieron]

I'd have to say between 1pm and 3pm, especially when there's little or nothing to look forward to-- which is often.